To think I can work from home with a 1yo

[Pollypanda]

I am currently on maternity leave, returning to work in November when DS will be 1. Work have allowed me to work from home 1 day a week to help alleviate nursery costs which I’m grateful for. However, general consensus amongst family and friends is that I’m mad to think I’ll get any work done whilst trying to look after DS.

I am office based, managing a small team without much direct client contact. Most of my communication in done via email due to the nature of my industry. So I won’t be juggling client calls, meetings, etc. Any calls I do get will be from my team.

AIBU to think I can do this no problem?

As the mum of two one year olds I can say with certainty that YABU. I thought I'd get some coursework done, but managed to do none of it until after they'd gone to bed.

I think most WFH policies specify you should not be the sole carer for children, mine certainly does.

Ours specifies that you can't be childcare while WFH.

Not unreasonably!

Not with a 1 year old, but you could with a 4 or 5 year old.

I still don't think it would be possible even if you have 11.5 hours in which to do 6 hours worth of work. I understand it is expensive for childcare but I really don't think this is the long term answer you think it is.

Your son might be an easy baby but very soon he will be an energetic toddler and you will have to have both eyes on him constantly, he is not going to have a great attention span and that's not going to change for a while. In fact it will only get worse when he drops his naps and then you are left thinking about all the work you will have to do after he is in bed which is just going to stress you out.

Could you not to condensed hours to do 4 long days in the office and a half day (during naps and evening) on the 5th?

I have a friend who managed it, but her dd was v chilled and napped reliably for 3 hours every afternoon .

Her second was a different story and went to nursery as soon as leave ended.

You won't and I doubt your place of work would be very happy if they found out you were.

Is this your first? Honestly I don’t think you’ve got any idea of how demanding your DS is going to be. I think it’s unfair on your employer and the people who for your company and work 5 days a week and have to pay for full time childcare so you also risk alienating yourself from the workforce in general.

If I’m honest I think it’s taking the piss and really you should have throught abkt childcare costs before you got pregnant.

You are taking the piss.

I can't believe your company has agreed to this! I once had a member of staff ask for this and she was turned down as you can't be working and looking after a small child at the same time.
I struggle to get anything done if I'm at home with my nearly 4 year old never mind a one year old.

Can the WFH day be any day each week? If so, it sounds like you could make an arrangement with grandparents most of the time. If not, sounds difficult as you really wouldn't be able to get much done other than during nap time or after bedtime/after other parent gets home. Also, how long-term would the arrangements be? Some toddlers are not good nappers.

YABU. Toddlers are a different ball game to babies.

I could have managed this but only because my work is flexible and doesn’t have to be done during core office hours
My DC were also very good nappers (guaranteed 2-3 hours after lunch)
My day would be first thing 20 minutes checking emails n answerphone 2-3 work whilst they napped, 20 minutes checking stuff again late afternoon, same early evening - I could then write reports and work on other stuff for 3-4 hours at night once they were in bed
It really depends on your job and what is expected
I did work part time from Home self employed when my DC were pre school doing accounts and payroll for small businesses as it was flexible
There were no free nursery places at all then and childcare was not subsidised - as a lone parent my options were limited

Sounds like a nightmare. Either you’ll be knackered from trying to squeeze the 6 hours into the windows of time when your child is asleep. Or you’ll be neglecting your child in Order to get on with your work. I don’t mean neglecting in the sense of actually putting him in harms way, but you definitely won’t be able to focus on your son, interacting and talking to him which is what one year olds want and need.

I’m really surprised your employer would entertain the idea anyway. Normally a requirement for working from home is to have provision in place for any caring responsibilities. Why on earth would anyone pay for childcare if it were possible to look after your kids while working?

If you absolutely cannot afford the extra day of care, could you at least get the grandparents to commit to say, once a fortnight and then look at paying someone else to sit for the alternate weeks? It wouldn’t need to be a registered childminder so it would be easier to sort something. You could perhaps do 3 hours in the time before your ds gets up in the morning and after he’s gone to bed, and then pay a babysitter for the other 3 hours.
If that’s just once a fortnight it’s doable. It’s got to be financially viable because even if you’re on minimum wage, you’ll be earning 6 hours on that day but only paying childcare for 3. And if you can persuade the grandparents to commit to the alternate weeks then you’re getting a day a fortnight totally free. Plus no commuting costs one day a week. I appreciate it’s difficult when childcare costs a lot but really there are solutions to this - and trying to do the childcare yourself while working isn’t one of them!

YABU or completely naive

My work has a policy against this as if anything (god forbid) happens to your child whilst you’re working then who is responsible? You can’t look after your child and work giving both 100%

I think your work is foolish for agreeing to it.

Sorry if this sounds harsh but it’s realistic

Can you pay a babysitter to be in the house with you for a couple of hours so they can entertain/nappy change/feed while you work in the next room or something? Cheaper than a child minder or nursery. The other work hours could be when your son is napping or once husband gets home.

I wouldn't do it to be honest, especially if you have to cover core hours. The only way around it, if you have a napper and your OH can be around until 8ish is to work 6-8am, then 2 hours for nap time, then 3 hours of your evening. It's quite stressful to juggle! Could you do LO in nursery a school day 9-3 then make up the extra hours in the evening?

I’ll probably get flamed for this but it seems a bit mean to me that out of two sets of retired grandparents they can’t each do 6 hours of childcare a fortnight to help you out (provided they are fit and local enough).

You can either watch your child or work from home. There is no way you can do both. That is like saying I will work from home and work another full time job.

Would you allow a babysitter to work a full time job whilst they were watching your child?

It’s impossible. I tried it. It once took me three hours to write a two paragraph email.

When my 10 year old DD was 10 months old I returned to work and went from a more telephone based role to admin based. I still couldn’t do it and ended up getting an au pair to be in the house with me whilst I was doing some work. Au pair still couldn’t do full childcare for a baby under 2. So she would do the odd playing and walking the the play park. And the rest of the work I still did after 7 when DD went to bed.

Has your company agreed that you can wfh whilst solely in charge of your child? Or have you not told them this will be the situation?

I've worked from home over the summer, my ds is 13 so pretty self sufficient and my job is completely flexible. I've been working between 5.30 and 11.30/12 (when he generally wakes up) them again from 5-8 when dh gets home. I could not and would not attempt to do this with a younger child. I have no client contact on a daily basis but have been answering emails in my spare moments.

Nope YABU I work from home full time and I still have full time out of the home care for my 7 year old, especially during the school holidays! Anything else is taking the P out of your employer. Can you not go part time until those free hours kick in?

OP even if you have a perfect napper, this is likely how your day will go -
Dc down for a nap at 9am. Wakes 9.45am. 45 mins of work.
Dc down for a nap 12.30pm. Wakes 2pm. 90 mins of work.
Dh home from work 5.30pm. You can work til 6pm. 30 mins.
So 2h 45min of work done that day.

Throw in the fact that dc will be teething, or need naps in their buggy on a walk or even in the car. Add in that classic 12m sleep regression resulting in 4 wakings a night again for a month or two meaning when they nap all you will want to do is nap.

When they are awake where do you plan on putting them so they dont scale the tv unit/try and throw themselves down the stairs/empty every drawer in the house of its contents?

Something else I feel the need to add is that I was offered the WFH day by my employer who understand my childcare situation. I did not ask for it. It’s a small, family business (no I am not a member of the family...) and I’ve worked there for 12 years. Yes they’re aware I have a child, obviously.

And yes I’m sure I understand what they were saying .

I really don’t want to give away too much but my job is incredibly flexible. I don’t have conference calls, ever. I only communicate with clients via email.