To think I can work from home with a 1yo

[Pollypanda]

I am currently on maternity leave, returning to work in November when DS will be 1. Work have allowed me to work from home 1 day a week to help alleviate nursery costs which I’m grateful for. However, general consensus amongst family and friends is that I’m mad to think I’ll get any work done whilst trying to look after DS.

I am office based, managing a small team without much direct client contact. Most of my communication in done via email due to the nature of my industry. So I won’t be juggling client calls, meetings, etc. Any calls I do get will be from my team.

AIBU to think I can do this no problem?

I've just dropped my 1yo off at nursery to WFH today. I couldn't handle trying to work with him around, he's super mobile and curious - although fairly independent, still needs supervision.

If I didn't have any calls and the day wasn't particularly busy, I could probably just about do it in your situation (6 hrs only, partner home at 4, emails only) - but it would be pretty shit. A few hours squeezed in nap time and early (unless you have a super early riser like me!), And then total handover at 4 to do solid work for 4 hours. It'd be a long day and I don't feel I'd be giving either my work or my baby enough attention. I'd avoid if at all possible!

Despite you and your partners employers, though, it's definitely not usual. Most WFH agreements are very specific about not being in lieu of childcare

If you could do the work later at night, you might be able to fit 6 hours into nap and after bed time. But remember they nap less as they get older - mine had dropped all daytime naps by 21 months.

Otherwise, impossible. You'd be constantly disturbed, feel you were neglecting you child, because you would be, that you were doing nothing well and it would all be very stressful and frustrating.

I also think some people are mis reading the OPs posts. The window of time she can do her work hours is between 9 am and 8.30 pm. Therefore she can’t get up early and work from 6 am. Even if she passes the child to her dh as he walks through the door at 4 pm (assuming he’s never delayed) and then works flat out to 8.30 pm she still can’t cover all the hours so would have to do some while in sole charge of a toddler. It’s a batshit crazy idea. And what if the dh is late?

Honest to god, even if you pay a babysitter minimum wage for 3 hours of that day and you’re earning minimum wage for 6 hours - you are still profiting. Why the reluctance to spend on something which is only fair to your child (never mind the employer)

Usually I would say no not possible

But you have 11hrs to do 6hrs

Average 1yr sleeps 3hrs a day (tho many on mn will disagree) 9/10 1/3

Or long afternoon nap 12/3 ish

So that’s half of it done. Abs guess if in bed 7 that gives you another 1.5hrs leaving 30mins while toddler plays at feet /watches tv /in highchair having tea etc

The only way you know is to try it. May work. May not

Tho If hubby home from 4 yes you could work 9-10 1-3 and 4-6 and hour when in bed

Is this just 1 day or all week, your OP says 1 day but the overall impression I get from thread is all week.

1 day will probably be alright as you can do quite a bit if needs be when your DH gets home.

All week would be very hard going

We’ve all been there! I thought I could write a novel when DS was 1.
It’s called optimism.
Never lose it but temper it with realism.
I wrote my novel, OP... during nap time.
And if it were to resurface from the landfill in China it is slowly decomposing in (it was saved to floppy disk. Prehistoric!) I’d be cast out of the universe for writing such utter crap. It was horrible and I cringe when I think about it. It was the work of a mother with a child under foot and it showed... in spades.

I digress.

Work from home if you must but enlist childcare!

Based on your company being happy for you to do this, your colleague doing this already, your DP finishing work at 4pm one day a week, and grandparents being around sometimes I would certainly give it a go. But definitely be prepared to do extra work elsewhere to catch up.

Lots of people saying "work while they nap" but does it really work like that? If you've been up half the night with a restless child, for example, are you really going to have the discipline to sit and work for that entire time when you're at home and could quite easily take yourself off for a nap, or have a coffee in front of the TV?

I love the idea of working from home but I know I'd get nothing done! Even as a teenager I had to study in the library or at school because if I was at home I'd just put the TV/music on and get distracted!

Absolutely ridiculous, are you insane?

How can you expect to concentrate/entertain a 1 year old simultaneously.

I have worked full time from home for 14 years and have two now grown up children. I absolutely couldn't have them in the house with me during working hours until the youngest was about 7 or 8.

I struggled to cope on conference calls when I got a new kitten that was constantly jumping on me, lying on my desk and mewing!

I think your boss is mad.
I also work in an output business and until he got mobile at about 14 months DS was easy to handle.
But if I had to do 6 hours in those core hours (which don't include early morning so no getting up early) I'd have done about 2. Maybe 3-4 if I ate my tea at 3.30 with DS and then worked solid from 4-8.

Look OP - try it out and see how you get on. A bunch of women with their own experiences aren’t going to help you simply because every child is different. I know babies who nap 3 hours straight and then another 45 minutes after lunch. I also know babies who nap for only 2x 45 minutes. I am a mother of 2 and my employers are very flexible too - I tried it out with my daughter for a week - didn’t work, so found a nursery. Like yours, my employer knew full well what I was doing and was happy for me to do so. When my son came along - I hired a full time nanny - I tried it again with him but he wasn’t playing ball even though he is a great sleeper (3 hours every afternoon from 12-3pm), so I hired a nanny.

Try it out OP - but have a backup option, good luck.

Your boss sounds very relaxed!

Another practical tip....

Leading up to nap time get everything set up for your work. Eg laptop open and plugged in, emails loaded, notepad ready, kettle boiled and tea bag waiting in cup! Start thinking about the tasks you’ll do during nap time and then hopefully your head will be “in it” when LO goes to sleep

Echoing what a PP said, the hardest thing is it is knackering and difficult mentally. But it’s only one day a week. I would give it a shot and be prepared to rethink later if needed

Going against the majority here, but my opinion is YANBU.

I worked from home when DS2 was born. I only took 12 weeks maternity leave and then started back. My role was also mainly email & computer based with the odd call and I managed fine! In fact I worked from home until March last year when DS2 was 8 and it had never been an issue.

I think it depends on how content your LO is and how busy your job is. If you have quiet periods and can take regular breaks then you should be fine.

Try it. If it doesn't work, try something else.

Having read your updates it sounds like your employer knows what they are getting into and they probably aren't expecting you to work to your full capacity when at home, but as you are a valuable employee so they are willing to be v flexible. It's only one day a week - give it a go! Sure you'll be able to muddle through - after all that's what most of us are doing just trying to keep all the plates in the air! Don't be disheartened by the responses just take them on board, take the useful tips and try! If it was full time 5 days a week I'm sure it would be impossible but one day a week with flexible employers will be alright. You'll probably be much more efficient on your four days on the office - I was when I went back from maternity leave as I wanted to prove myself - so I'm sure you'll manage. Good luck and very best wishes.

PS I'm sure your little one will not be damaged by being "neglected" by not having your 100% attention six hours a week.....! How many of us are "neglecting" our little ones at the moment while we're mumsnetting?!! Loads I bet! And I am neglecting work too as I'm actually supposed to be working from home as I type.... ooops best get back to it!

But the nap is not reliable every day. They will get sick, be up super early some days, maybe take 45 mins to settle other days.

Could you give us a tiny bit more detail about your job OP? It won't be outing to say the broad type of work you are doing and we can judge better whether 6 hours work really means "on call for emails".

My nanny was sick last week and in my diary for that day, I had a commitment to write an evaluation framework for a complicated policy area for a central government client. That was impossible with 2 year old there. On the other hand, I could send a few emails - I managed to complete my timesheets, tell a couple of team members how to handle a decision, and ask someone for a meeting the following week. To me, the latter type of work isn't really 'work' as there are no deliverables, nor are you closely monitoring or managing staff. I wouldn't, for example, have been able to do someone's performance review, or check a supplier's contract, or anything detailed or interpersonal.

I am confused as to why you say you can't afford childcare. If as a family you both can't afford it, one of you will have to not work for a few years??

No chance.

No way.

I had a childminder when I worked from home. I had very little client contact, work was mostly online. I couldn't commit 8 hours to working if I had the DCs around.

YABU - that ain't going to work! There's no way you can concentrate properly with a 1 yo in the house all day. I occasionally have to do that over school hols and it's very stressful!
Your work isn't allowing you to stay home all day with a kid they're giving you flexibility so that you're not looking for childcare for before and after normal nursery times. My WFH day allowed me to eat brekkie with kids, get them ready without a mad rush because I didn't have to dress for the office, NOT to have to look for childcare before 8 am or after 6pm when nursery shut.
I had a nice-ish morning, walked them to nursery and then was working by 8.30am at home.
Here's what you CAN do when WFH - be in for parcels, the plumber, a grocery delivery etc. - Get some laundry done. Get tea made early so it's ready as soon as your kids/partner is at home/or you're hungry.Go for a walk/run at lunch-time ( or whenever because 'lunch' is whenever you like) or have a nap! And pick kids up from nursery, on time, or a little early again without the stress of a commute, or getting stuck in traffic and being late, or being late cos the train was late, then getting kids home late and tired...
If you take the p with your work they can/will pull your WFH day.

When I was teaching, the planning/ marking etc had to get done at the arse ends of the day. There were 2.5 productive hours in the classroom where I made the most of a 5:55 pick up. Domestic life reigned from 6-9pm then back to the admin for anything up to 10:30 to midnight then setting the alarm early to finish off 5:30am to 6am before getting in to get ready mode at 7:20. The DCs didn't rush to sleep through either. No chance of getting work done when they were awake. It was exhausting and I'm out of teaching for that reason.

DS1 was 5 when I could do "cinema" day in the holidays where I played DVDs in the classroom as I marked, and DS2 was using his nursery hours. Home would still have been distracting. Now they are 5&7 I can get decent blocks where they entertain themselves between sibling disputes.

If your employers aren't too concerned about what the core hours are and they are more of a recommendation than an absolute rule, it may be viable. 1-3 is a tough age group. It's a shame they learn to move before developing self-preservation instincts

If you are drip feeding as your child needs attention, then no way will you be able to combine looking after a child and fit work in .

If you were talking about a 7.5/8 hour day between 8 and 6 I'd say no but given you're required to do 6 hours in an 11.5 hour window then yes, I think it's doable. You won't be dealing with calls and meetings and your DH finishes work pretty early which presumably frees you up to do a few hours while he looks after dc. So for your circumstances it sounds workable.

I suspect some posters haven't read further than your OP in their enthusiasm to tell you just how difficult life is with a 1 year old. Not every mother needs to sit under a child for 11 hours a day with her boob in its gob .

Unfortunately yabu. I remember the day when work called me on my day off. Lasted less than 2mns but that was enough time for my daughter to have got dangerously close to a plug.

I have a now 2 year old and ever since he could move I've never been able to even get my work phone or laptop out in front of him without him going mad and trying to get hold of them. I also wouldn't leave a 1 year old unwatched so realistically don't think I could've managed anything apart from when he was asleep