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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I can work from home with a 1yo

248 replies

Pollypanda · 29/08/2018 08:40

I am currently on maternity leave, returning to work in November when DS will be 1. Work have allowed me to work from home 1 day a week to help alleviate nursery costs which I’m grateful for. However, general consensus amongst family and friends is that I’m mad to think I’ll get any work done whilst trying to look after DS.

I am office based, managing a small team without much direct client contact. Most of my communication in done via email due to the nature of my industry. So I won’t be juggling client calls, meetings, etc. Any calls I do get will be from my team.

AIBU to think I can do this no problem?

OP posts:
NeverTwerkNaked · 29/08/2018 22:35

Impact on the employer aside, this really doesn’t sound very fair on your child. They are basically going to be stuck at home on those days.
I’d suggest getting a mother’s help/ babysitter or similar so they aren’t just stuck playing by themselves the whole time. It sounds quite tedious for the child.

macaronip1e · 29/08/2018 22:40

I don’t think it’s realistic to get a full day’s work done while looking after a 1yo. But, if your employer is understanding of the situation, and you have flexibility in hours you might as well give it a go!

I wfh a couple of days a week and, in the school hols, I occasionally have my dd (7yo) at home with me. Unlike a 1yo there is the advantage that I can put her in front of a film, or leave her to play in her room/garden if I need a long stretch to get things done. But what i also do is arrange the rest of the week so I set up calls for other days, leave more mindless/admin tasks that I can dip in and out of for the day at home, and work some extra time on other days to minimise what I need to get done when I also have my dd with me. Perhaps that’s something to bear in mind.

EvaHarknessRose · 29/08/2018 22:41

Just go the extra mile for your employer the rest of the time, and make sure you have 4 clear hours during that extended time that you can definitely work eg after dh gets home, when grandparents can have them. Have a routine of times you go out with dc or do active play, then do emails at the same time as dinner is eaten and a one hour cbeebies stretch. Its not the norm, but if your employer is that supportive, don’t knock it. Maybe put in some extra hours at home on the other days.

PookieDo · 29/08/2018 22:44

I have teenagers and I struggle to work when they are here! Interrupt me a lot, noise, needing things etc. I don’t think it will work. I don’t have any client contact but plenty of urgent/to do jobs during the day that couldn’t wait until a nap time

Passingwords · 29/08/2018 22:53

You could try it but if (when) it fails don’t feel bad about it. Apart from needing to be physically close to your child all the time, even if you are not taking calls and therefore noise isn’t a problem, will you mentally be able to give 100% thought and commitment to baby and your staff at the same time with their very different needs and demands? I wonder if you are going to stress yourself out

hibbledibble · 29/08/2018 22:57

Yes yabu. I'm surprised your employer would agree to this.

You can get some work done at nap times, and once your partner is home, but not a full day of work.

You need childcare!

hibbledibble · 29/08/2018 22:59

You can use a gym crèche for flexible childcare to allow you a few hours to get work done. This may make it possible, along with nap time work.

CookPassBabtridge · 29/08/2018 23:07

I would normally say impossible, but in your personal situation I think it might be okay... you have a big timeframe to fit your hours in, your DS is easy, work suggested it and know you will have a child at home, and you don't need to have important client calls etc.

NotUmbongoUnchained · 29/08/2018 23:10

My 2 are easy, and I could easily work from home with both of them, but I wouldn’t want to. I would have to ignore them all day and I don’t think that’s fair.

Etino · 29/08/2018 23:10

Wow! What’s going on with this thread?
•the employer suggested it, another worker does the same so it’s not a completely untested idea.
•the op has ad hoc support.
•the has χ hours work to do in 2χ hours time.
•the job is via email, not phone.
•Op’s DH will be home at 4.
Y’all do not know that much ‘office work’ is no more onerous or requires much more attention than posting on mumsnet? And I’m sure some posters sometimes post here with children around Wink

Ketayuzu · 29/08/2018 23:19

I work from home because it makes it easier to do drop off or pick up from nursery.
You will not be able to get any work done with a child there awake. If you only need to check email occasionally through the day then you might get that done but any sustained work will either not get done or will make you feel really guilty for ignoring your child for a day every week.
If this is the only option you need someone like a babysitter who is cheaper, can't be left alone all day but can do basic care and play.
Believe people with small kids. Your work might think you can do it but those who have tried say not. Listen to your family and prepare for this

IsItCoffeeTimeYet · 29/08/2018 23:26

It IS totally doable!
I WFH 1 day a week. I did it with DS (6-18 months old) and I now do it with DD (1yr-present (20 months). (DS now at nursery as he became no longer easy terrible twos )

It works fine for us. If your DS is easy and happy to play by himself for long periods then it'll be fine.

I also work for a small family (not my family) company, mostly via email and not conference calls. Sometimes I have a meeting to go to, but I'm allowed to take DD with me. Another employee does the same. If your company know and are fine with it then go for it. It CAN work!

BackforGood · 29/08/2018 23:34

I agree with everyone else. Of course YABU, and it annoys me, because people saying they are wfh when they are actually doing childcare, just perpetuates the myth that people who work from home aren't actually working at all. That, in turn then makes it more and more difficult for other people to be given permission to wfh, when they actually would be working.

It sounds like you have over generous employers who want to help you.
What could work, is, if you are allowed to do your 6, 7, 8 hours, or however long it is 'at some point across the week' then you could work that around, by working evenings and/or doing some hours at the weekend. That would be good of your employers to let you do that, if the job role can work in that way, but you can't seriously expect to get any work done during the day when looking after a 1 yr old.

Howhot · 29/08/2018 23:45

Can't you do compressed hours instead? Even committing to around 3 hours WFH to reply to emails and complete the other three hours throughout the week? Far more realistic

BringBackSummerQuick · 29/08/2018 23:53

YABU. You risk

  • getting annoyed at your 1 year old for doing things that is normal for a one year old
  • neglecting your 1 year old
  • doing a poor job for your employer
  • getting very stressed and frustrated.

I think you could work 4:30 - 8:30 when your DH is there if you lock yourself in a separate room and he covers everything with your DD. Although you’ll have to eat at a funny time or grab something quick. Could u make up the other hours the day before?

notgivingin789 · 29/08/2018 23:53

I went back to full time education when my DS was 6 weeks old, including completing assignments, preparations for exams etc. If there's a will, there's a way.

Nettletheelf · 30/08/2018 00:05

Is your employer as stupid as they sound? I bet you work in the public sector.

One of my team - a man, if it’s relevant - once requested to work from home two days a week to look after his toddler son. Oh yes, and he wanted to do compressed hours too. And have flexi time. The long days would, naturally, be worked on the days he was at home looking after his son. When he would be working ten hour days, spreadsheeting away. Yes.

He was the laziest bugger in the office and he really thought that we should say yes. He appealed the ‘no’ decision and was laughed out of the meeting room by HR. Your employer may be gullible but realise that if you go ahead with this your colleagues will think that you are (1) a piss taker and (2) liable to ruin genuine requests from them to work from home.

Geordiegirl79 · 30/08/2018 00:09

A ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

MorseandLewis · 30/08/2018 02:18

We used to have to sign an annual contract to say that we would not be the primary carer for any children whilst wfh, the company were not insured for it apparently

Banana8080 · 30/08/2018 04:59

It’s siruations like this that make employers suspicious of people working from home and harder for us all to get it.

If you’re working, then work. Sort childcare elsewhere.

Thishatisnotmine · 30/08/2018 05:56

Do your employers know your dc will be there too? They might think you have requested to have an easier day for nursery drop offs or something. WAH with a child who cannot be entertained for hours on end by TV would be so hard.

Momo27 · 30/08/2018 06:50

I’m wondering why the OP hasn’t responded to the suggestion several of us have made: that she hires a babysitter for part of the day she’ll work from home. If she pays for 3 hours babysitting and is working for 6 hours, she’ll make a profit- that’s basic maths! So her assertion that she can’t afford the care simply isn’t true. If she could cover 3 hours with a babysitter, she could then work, say, 5-8 after her dh gets in to make up the other 3 hours. That way there’s no manic trying to cram work in the second her dh walks in, no worries if he’s a little delayed and actually it’d be nicer for them to have an unrushed handover of looking after the baby and a chat and cup of tea rather than the OP literally handing the child over and cramming her work in

0nTheEdge · 30/08/2018 07:26

I think you can manage it OP. Your specific circumstances means everyone is happy with the set up, hopefully you'll have grandparents help most of the time, and when not it'll just be a massive slog to get everything done, but it can be done. I used to work about 6 hours overtime a week from home around a baby, and it was tough. I did it in slots whilst my husband was around or if baby had a small nap, etc. But hopefully you'll have the help most or some of the time and that will make a difference. Good luck OP, I hope it all works out without too much stress.

Mossend · 30/08/2018 08:16

Does your employer know that you will be in sole charge of your child whilst getting paid to work?
My work have recently been desperate to get staff to WFH but main stipulation was that if you had DC's they had someone else to look after them, either childcare or another adult in the home at the same time

JessieMcJessie · 30/08/2018 08:24

I had this idea in my mind that my DS would play quietly by himself while I did other things (such as housework or catching up on a bit of work on my non-working days). I kitted out a lovely playroom next door to my kitchen with a gate so he could see me. He’s almost two now. From the moment he could crawl I have never ever managed to get him to play by himself in there, he just stands at the gate crying for attention. I had absolutely no idea that this was what toddlers did; turns out it’s standard Smile. He is a happy and secure boy generally. If I ever try to talk in the phone or work on the computer he’s all over me climbing up to press the keys. And that’s before you factor in the time spent on his basic needs like nappy changes, food, being put down for naps, drinks, fresh air etc. I realised early on after returning from mat leave that on my days off I couldn’t even think about reading anything that required concentration, dashing out a quick email or making any calls. It was a real surprise, as things like that would have been perfectly possible before he got mobile. And that was before the crawling became running and climbing!

If I really really need to do something now, he has to go in front of the TV but even then I can’t leave him alone for more than 10 or 15 mins at a time.

What I am trying to say is that you will see a big difference between an 11 month old and a full-blown toddler. They are a full time job. Your circumstances sound quite unusual so no harm in trying I guess, but I’d be really surprised if it was sustainable.