To think I can work from home with a 1yo

[Pollypanda]

I am currently on maternity leave, returning to work in November when DS will be 1. Work have allowed me to work from home 1 day a week to help alleviate nursery costs which I’m grateful for. However, general consensus amongst family and friends is that I’m mad to think I’ll get any work done whilst trying to look after DS.

I am office based, managing a small team without much direct client contact. Most of my communication in done via email due to the nature of my industry. So I won’t be juggling client calls, meetings, etc. Any calls I do get will be from my team.

AIBU to think I can do this no problem?

My dh wfh and even with me doing all the childcare he finds it really hard. There's the fact that ds knows daddy is at home, and often sneaks off to. Find him as he naturally wants to see daddy if he's around. 5th en there's the general noise of a toddler - dh often shuffles onto the furthest flung space in the house in an attempt to appear professional on the phone.

I have had to accept the complete dereliction of all personal admin and lack of organisation in my life over that last year or so now 2.5 Harold ds WILL NOT play alone or without trying to destroy property or himself if I so much as blink. I literally can't ring to make a vet appointment or order a shop online if he's awake. There's no way in the world I could regularly get work done to a satisfactory standard and retain sanity at all.

I wfh 3 days a week and there’s no chance I could do it when my 3yo is there. But I have numerous conference calls a day and need to have my attention on work.

Your work obviously think it will work okay, and you know your job. Worth a try, you can reevaluate later if it doesn’t work!

I worked from home from when my DS1 was 1, had another baby and carried on right through their childhoods. I had childcare during my working day until they went to nursery I had to focus on my work 100%. It really wouldn't have worked any other way. Imo it's totally unrealistic to think you can work even the hours you detail while caring for a 1 y.o as anyone would want. It's unfair on everyone.

Amazing how many say not possible

It’s not a full days work with calls

It’s part time hours in almost double the time and with a hubby around from 4pm to take care toddler

I’m shocked at how Many children can’t play by theirselves for a while

How many are on phone /laptop and mn while child at feet playing etx

You’re easily shocked Blondes- 5 pages of people saying that children don’t play quietly while mothers work but you know differently eh? I can’t use my phone in front of my DS as he just wants to come and see what I’m doing, swipe the screen and whines to watch cartoons on it. As I said earlier, he’ll want to “help” me press the keyboard on my laptop or desktop. So no, I don’t MN while he’s playing at my feet. At a push I can do a quick browse on Amazon if there’s something I really need to buy. But in any event, even Mumsnetting is possible for those who have more self-sufficient toddlers, a bit of Mumsnetting and doing actual paid work hardly involve the same levels of concentration or accountability.

I went back to full time education when my DS was 6 weeks old, including completing assignments, preparations for exams etc. If there's a will, there's a way.

There's always at least one bloody superhero on these threads "I did my PhD as a single mum to three under three". I have a feeling these supermums have a bit of help they conveniently forget to mention.

'I’m shocked at how Many children can’t play by theirselves for a while'

Ok Tarquin, mummy is working now so just play by yourself for the next 7 hours, lunch will be served at 4pm but help yourself to snacks and drinks and you'll probably need a nap but just take yourself up to bed yeah and come down to play again when you're done. There's a good lad.

Lol. Other things shocked me on mn when I joined years ago. Certain things not to google 😂😂😂

They don’t need to play quietly. Just be able to entertain self for 30mins while beside /near you while sending emails - op isn’t on the phone and needs silence

I would worry more if silent - if can Hear dd chattering and musicsal toys etc I know she is happily playing

Maybe I’m lucky. My 17mth will go and play by self. Yes we spend many hours on the floor playing or sofa and reading books etc

But can also go into kitchen and unpack dw and put some washing on without her creating that’s ive gone

Tho maybe as I’ve done from day one she doesn’t know what difference

In the end op can try it. If it doesn’t work then she can look at other options but I think it is doable due to short hours - emails not calls - she say she her child is easy and hubby home from 4 so can do 3hrs work if needs to

It is not doable.

I have a 15 month old and WFH two days a week. However, my DP looks after DD whilst I am working (he works in the evenings).

There is literally no way I could work and look after DD.

My employer won't even entertain the idea of WFH if you are also looking after a child.

Once the baby is on his feet that's when the real parenting begins.

YANBU if your employer is happy.

My husband used to do this with knowledge of his boss. He saved up all email type work for this day and did it from early hours til late in the evening, so still managing a full day's work. My son (unlike my daughter, who we didn't do this with!) was v happy with independent play and had regular daytime naps. Saved us money. Everyone was happy.

I couldn't have done it in my job, which is what I think most people of thinking, but it's possible in some.

They can sense when your focus is elsewhere. Unpacking shopping, fine. Sitting motionless for 20 min in silence to craft an email- no toddler is gonna let that run.

You dont realise how quiet, still and absent you are when concentrating on work.

Blondes - but the Ops dcs will know differently, as they will be in nursery 4 days a week- they will be used to adult attention and structured activities.

Yabu. The very first line of my employer’s working from home policy is: ‘working from home is not a substitute for childcare’

YABU and I am amazed your work are allowing it.

It’s one day. Not every day

It will work. Or it won’t and op will have to consider other childcare

So does that mean every child who goes to nursery needs non Stop entertaining the days at home?

It depends on your one year old and what he’s like. I have a one year old and I’d be able to work from home easily looking after him provided it was all just computer based (rather than phone). He’s happy to sit in his playpen and he also takes long nap. However, he won’t be one forever. I’m not sure when he’s 18 months he’ll be content to sit in a play pen and then nap for 3 hours!!

Also, I have two others and there is no way I could’ve worked from home whilst looking after either of them when they were one. Different characters, they’d have been up to all sorts!

If on that day you are prepared to start at 7am and finish at 9-10 pm ish, you might just about manage to get 6-8 hrs work in if you have a DP that can take over for a few hours in the evening.

They change so much from week to week.
One day lunch can take 10 mins, another an hour...

I remember getting loads of (extra) work done at tea times when LO was in high chair, but this was for a small window of a few months at around 2 I think and couldn't be relied on to happen every day.

I think it's great that your boss is being flexible, but don't be surprised if you end up having to catch up on other evenings or weekends.

I had a friend who did full time hours over 4 days but would often end up doing a couple of hours on her 'day off' over nap time etc.

It really does vary with the child, my eldest was really absorbed in imaginative, independent play, so I could work in the same room as him. But my daughter? No way on this planet. She finds it really hard to play on her own.

So it all depends on the OP's child...

No blondes, it’s not that every child needs non stop attention. But all children deserve to have a level of care and interaction which can’t realistically provided if their parent is also trying to cram 6 hours of work between the hours of 9 and 8.30

When it’s clearly affordable to pay for a babysitter for at least some (if not all) of those hours, you have to wonder why making proper provision is so far down the list of priorities for the OP.
You save a few quid here and there by shopping at Aldi, or buying a few less luxuries.. you don’t save it by refusing to provide childcare for your child. Not if you’re a responsible parent anyway

Exactly Momo. Even if you have a toddler that sits and plays nicely (?!) for hours. It doesn’t mean that you should just leave them for 6 hours while you crack on with work.

I asked upthread what the baby/toddler would be doing while the OP was working to no response. Yes you may get 10 minutes here and there but not hours of continual work

Also, can everyone rtt. The Op can’t start until 9am so no getting up early to do a few hours then.

The OP's husband gets home at 4.30, so she could work from then until 8.30. So that leaves two hours. And the baby probably still has a long-ish nap during the day, based on the one year olds I know.

I get that not everyone looks at that and wants to have a go, but I don't think there's any suggestion momo and del that the baby will be left to its own devices for hours.

As I mentioned upthread I work around DD, who is nearly one. I aim for 3 hours a day - naps, evening sometimes, and mornings sometimes (DH takes her before work, and is then out until 18.30). It has no effect on DD - she doesn't even go in a bloody playpen, when she's awake she has my full attention. Six hours a day once a week is absolutely doable. It has an effect on me I watch less Netflix but whether that's a detriment that justifies nursery is a whole other thread.