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Original poster

Ex-Husband demanding 50/50 child benefits

115 replies

ILikePaperHats · 27/08/2018 17:57

My ex and I have been discussing a possible future arrangement where we take care of the kids (DS10 and DS4) one week on, one week off, I.e. a 50/50 split in childcare. Currently they are with me 4 nights and my ex 3 nights every week. He pays £200 a month in maintenance for our two sons and I pay for clothes, shoes, uniform, school dinners, school trips, and most after school activities. I receive about £660 in child tax credit/working tax credit. My ex says he should be entitled to half of all my benefits if we do an equal share of childcare. I have got used to receiving this income and I am reluctant to share it out especially when I pay for most of the kids' things. Who do you think is right here? Thanks

OP posts:
whiningandwining · 27/08/2018 17:58

If you have equal care, could you look at who will pay for what she agree a 50/50 split of income on that basis? Seems the fairest.

Sirzy · 27/08/2018 18:00

Well if it’s 50/50 then it seems wrong that he pays you maintenance AND you get the child benefit!

FocusOnMePlease · 27/08/2018 18:00

The tax credit will be based on your earnings alone so would not be right to split with someone not on the claim.

kaytee87 · 27/08/2018 18:01

So he pays maintenance plus you receive the benefits for them? It's almost 50/50 just now and will be moving to 50/50 soon.
I do think something fairer needs to be worked out.

kaytee87 · 27/08/2018 18:02

You will likely have to inform dwp that you only have your dc half the time and they will reduce your benefits accordingly if appropriate.
I don't think your ex should be paying maintenance.

Twotailed · 27/08/2018 18:03

If you’re paying more for them then it’s fair you should recieve more of the benefit. That might change though if you move to 50/50 access. I would work out what the expenditure is and divide that by half and then work out which of you needs to be paying towards the other.

SendintheArdwolves · 27/08/2018 18:03

He can't demand you hand over half your benefits. He can apply to see if he is eligible to claim for himself.

If you change the setup to 50/50 childcare, you will (presumably) report your income accurately to the benefits agency. If any adjustments are required they will make them. He too can apply for tax credits and if he is eligible, he will receive them.

Trying to do it any other way sounds well dodgy - don't agree to it.

Glumglowworm · 27/08/2018 18:05

It’s not unreasonable to split benefits and stop maintenance AS LONG AS it really is 50/50 care. So all expenses are shared, the mental load of dress up days, friends parties, when to buy new clothes, dentist appointments, haircuts etc etc are all shared. Not just you telling him when the kids have a hair appointment but equal responsibility for noticing that an appointment is needed, booking it, taking DC to it, and paying for it. And when the kids are off school sick, whoever has them needs to be taking the day off, not relying on you to cover.

WorraLiberty · 27/08/2018 18:06

I pay for clothes, shoes, uniform, school dinners, school trips, and most after school activities.

Does that regularly come to £200 per month?

Glumglowworm · 27/08/2018 18:06

Sorry, splitting child benefit is reasonable.

Tax credits are based on your income so not to be shared. If he is eligible then he can claim himself.

cmlover · 27/08/2018 18:08

I can see his point to an extent. but who will end up paying for most if the stuff? like uniform shoes. clothes etc.

maybe suggest that he stops paying maiternace instead

PrimalLass · 27/08/2018 18:08

Easily, I would say.

Chickychoccyegg · 27/08/2018 18:08

well the benefits are in your name, worked out on your income, so he wouldn't be entitled to a share, not sure of how the best way to split the costs of a 50/50 childcare arrangement though, hopefully someone with experience can offer some helpful advice x

pinkhorse · 27/08/2018 18:09

No maintenance is payable in 50:50 cases. Just make sure you are both paying for things of equal amounts. That will tell you whether he should have any of the child benefit money.

fuzzywuzzy · 27/08/2018 18:10

If you have dc 50:50 your ex won’t have to pay you can hold more maintenance anymroe that will stop.

I wouldn’t share child benefit or tax credits.

Is he going to pay 50:50 for everything you currently pay for?

FoofFighter · 27/08/2018 18:11

I've heard of several families with 50/50 care claiming each for one child (or however many) and then getting whatever tax credits help themselves. could that be an option?

I'd certainly not be hadning over any of your money to him though no. And would want to get proper advice before doing anything at all.

WorraLiberty · 27/08/2018 18:11

Why not child benefit fuzzywuzzy?

Pengggwn · 27/08/2018 18:11

It should be shared out if care is shared equally, but you need to stop paying for most things and tell him that is now half his responsibility.

HailSatan · 27/08/2018 18:12

If it's 50/50 then neither should pay maintenance and you should each claim one of the children for child benefit/tax credits. You should pay 50/50 for all school expenses as well

totallyliterally · 27/08/2018 18:12

Is the maintenance amount through the csa?

All three things are separate.

CM - worked out through csa, will reduce is 50/50 care. This amount has no impact on benefits at all. Also it is irrelevant to what you pay for. Base it solely on his income and shared care arrangements and get a calculation done.

Tax credits - is based on your income from work (cm) not included in calculations.

CB - can only be paid to one parent and usually where child spends more time. But in case of 50/50 it probably should be split.

SweetEnough · 27/08/2018 18:13

I agree at 50/50 no maintenance should be paid. He however should buy uniform, shoes, clothes, school dinners etc.. for his week.

If you go 50/50 and have 2 children you claim for one and him the other, that seems fairest imo.

funinthesun18 · 27/08/2018 18:13

I think you have a pretty good deal to be honest. I don’t think he should be paying for any extras like uniform if he’s got the child 3 nights a week, paying you £200 a month and you get all the benefits. A token amount towards them maybe but definitely not half.

dementedpixie · 27/08/2018 18:17

If its 50/50 then no maintenance would be due. You could each claim child benefit for 1 child

KN2212 · 27/08/2018 18:17

If he has DC 50% of the time then he shouldn’t pay maintenance. If you inform CM they should automatically adjust this.

It is only fair to split the CB but I wouldn’t split working tax credits as that only applies to your income.
I appreciate you may have come to rely on that full amount but child benefits are given by the government to aid in caring for children so if you only care for the child 50% of the time then you’re only entitled to 50% xx

DC2018 · 27/08/2018 18:22

If the tax credits are based on your income then I would split them but the £200 maintenance may be up for negotiation if he has them half the time. Id maybe get him to reduce that payment so it's fairer x

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