Ex-Husband demanding 50/50 child benefits

[ILikePaperHats]

My ex and I have been discussing a possible future arrangement where we take care of the kids (DS10 and DS4) one week on, one week off, I.e. a 50/50 split in childcare. Currently they are with me 4 nights and my ex 3 nights every week. He pays £200 a month in maintenance for our two sons and I pay for clothes, shoes, uniform, school dinners, school trips, and most after school activities. I receive about £660 in child tax credit/working tax credit. My ex says he should be entitled to half of all my benefits if we do an equal share of childcare. I have got used to receiving this income and I am reluctant to share it out especially when I pay for most of the kids' things. Who do you think is right here? Thanks

I don't understand the advice to claim for one child each child benefit - you can't can you? And even if you can, the second child gets less than the first, so one of you would still get less benefit - unless you each say the one you claim for is your only, which would be benefit fraud.

I don't claim ctc so not sure how it works but i think you should inform them of any change in residency if that's one of the things they ask, but not just split what you get with him. That's not what it's for. And definitely not your working tax,credits, wtf has that got to do with him?

www.gov.uk/child-benefit/what-youll-get - they can claim for a child each and get the larger payment each.

What kind of relationship do you have with your ex? Will he actually pay 50% of the costs that you are currently paying for the DC? I can see that you might agree to giving him a share of the benefits and then he just point blank refuses to cough up for uniform, clubs, etc and then what? You will have to pay regardless because you won't let your DC miss out. Be careful OP, he needs to honour any agreement you male regarding costs.

Claiming for one child each is fairest.

But he needs to pay for more stuff obviously.

Not RTFT but you have 2 kids, claim for one each.

If it's 50/50 then you both need to house them so both are entitled (salary dependent).

Just after that all costs must be 50/50 too.

Not really sure why some people think £200 a month child maintenance for both children is a good deal. Minimum threshold for CSA. And I pay for everything to do with the kids although ex does pay for karate for one child and takes it in turn to pay for haircuts. My career had to be put on the back burner to have our children, so why shouldn't I be financially compensated for that by getting the benefits? I can only work 4 short days and 1 longer one atm compared to his 4 long days and 1 short, because I do most of the school pickups. I agree child benefit should be shared if we go 50/50 but not sure he has a leg to stand on about the rest.

I also agree that the child maintenance should be dropped if we go 50/50 but he can whistle for my benefits!

I think it depends on how much everything you spend on them adds up to and what extras he buys them?

If he earns too much to gain tax credits then really you should retain them for both DC. You won't receive maintenance for them anymore but all costs should then be split 50:50 with you paying £10 per week more because that his the CB could potentially claim or I suppose £15 as it would be the higher rate?

I think I may be be underestimating how much 50:50 costs will actually be as he will have to pay for childcare on his weeks as surely you'll then be working longer days to maximise your income rather than having the DC after school?

We're both self-employed and work from home therefore no need for paid childcare although it is of course v difficult to work with the children around after school

Why on earth would he ask for a split on tax credits?! Tell him to make his own claim.

I agree your tax credits and income benefits are yours to keep. I also think it’s not necessarily correct his maintenance goes to nothing if you go 50/50 care of the children. Ido not think £200 maintenance is a huge sum for 2 children. I actually think it would be difficult to provide everything 2 children need in a month for £400 if you follow my logic. The children need clothes, food, school dinners, activities, transport, a room, heating, lighting etc. Just because you have them 50 :50 these costs don’t necessarily decrease significantly you still need to provide a home, transport, clothe them, and your food bill will go down slightly but many of the other things remain the same. I would seek advice from HMRC about the child benefit but if hid income exceeded yours I would not feel inclined to give any of that up.

But he's not just paying £200 a month maintenance @niknac1

He's paying £200 plus all the costs involved in having them three nights a week - larger house, more food, higher bills, clothes etc etc.

I am no expert on child maintenance, I expect there are online tools to help but I don’t think you would get the income credits if you were a higher earner and able to manage without them. Children and homes are not cheap, I expect there is an online tool which can help with the level of maintenance required but if reducing it meant the children suffered whilst at the mothers that is not good. My children £25 each child per week is not going to give a luxurious standard of living anywhere.I am not asking for a full breakdown of each parents income and costs but I don’t think maintenance should necessarily be reduced to nothing when care goes 50:50 it’s not going to take into account all the variables if that was the case.

When I was in exactly this situation he was low income and I wasn't. He claimed the CB for both children and gave me 140 a month to cover my share. By claiming both CB he qualified for an increased amount of tax credits etc so also gave me half the extra. All expenditure was shared 50 50.

(In theory, in reality I parented far more than 50 50, it was just the nights we had them that were equal but I wouldn't have had it any other way!).
He got bored after a while anyway and fucked off on a round the world adventure so now he doesn't see the kids and I pay for everything with nothing from him lol. Oh well, it worked well for a while!!

Funnily enough I was looking into this for someone else quite recently.

First agree on how you are going to split up paying for the things you currently pay for. List them with the current cost and decide which parent is responsible for what.

Then:
Tax credits - this is based on your individual income. So no definitely do not give him the money for that. Your claim may need adjusting as you only have the kids 50% of the time rather than 60%. He also needs to put in his own claim.

Child maintenance -- if he is definitely having them 50% of the time then you need to tell the CMS and he would probably end up paying nothing. It's up to them to calculate it.

Child benefit - agree that he can claim for your eldest child instead of you. You should then both get the higher rate for having one child, but in your case you will end up with it being paid to you for longer as you are claiming for the younger child. To avoid him arguing with you about which child it is for just do it - www.gov.uk/child-benefit-child-lives-with-someone-else

Claim for one child each . If he has them half the time I don’t think he should be paying you maintenance

Or you could just be grown ups about it and quit squabbling

I think you have a pretty good deal and you know it. If your classing yourself as a single parent fair play tax credits and maintenance yep you should keep. I don't agree if have your kids half the time. More fool him for going along with it and your royally taking the Piss. Either you claim for a child each. Or you carry on as you are keep the tax credit and he doesn't pay maintenance as hes providing for then by having them 50/50. But he loses as you have all the money for them.

I think you sound quite money grabby tbh!!!

I get £160 a month child maintenance a month for three kids so yea I think £200 a month especially when he had them 40% of the time isn't too bad.

If he's having them 50% of the time then that means you can work longer days the week he had them...therefore can earn more money! So stop trying to play the victim here...50:50 care should mean you claim benefits for 1 child each...why should you getting all the tax credits when you only have them for half the year

Well it's not exactly a fair arrangement as it stands is it?!

The old chestnut of I sacrificed my career for him....

Well now you have the option to have a full week to work extra long hours and focus on your career as he will be able to do to meaning that neither of you should have to rely on benefits soon enough.

In the meantime you can each claim for one child.

If I recall correctly CB is only paid to a parent who has majority care. If he earns less than 50k he can apply himself and get some too though.

Please get legal advice before agreeing anything. There is case law around this issue from 2002 and 2010.

2002 case not so relevant now but 2010 case. Your solicitor should be able to find it and write a letter explaining why it's not possible (for CTC definitely)