Ex-Husband demanding 50/50 child benefits

[ILikePaperHats]

My ex and I have been discussing a possible future arrangement where we take care of the kids (DS10 and DS4) one week on, one week off, I.e. a 50/50 split in childcare. Currently they are with me 4 nights and my ex 3 nights every week. He pays £200 a month in maintenance for our two sons and I pay for clothes, shoes, uniform, school dinners, school trips, and most after school activities. I receive about £660 in child tax credit/working tax credit. My ex says he should be entitled to half of all my benefits if we do an equal share of childcare. I have got used to receiving this income and I am reluctant to share it out especially when I pay for most of the kids' things. Who do you think is right here? Thanks

His benefits are none of his business. They are income based.

He can apply for his own and see if he's eligible for any.

*I wouldn't split the tax credits

Well, it depends on how much your expenditure costs doesn't it?

If you have 50/50 care, then all child benefits should be split 50/50 and all costs split 50/50. And he shouldn't be paying maintenance.

Well, it depends on how much your expenditure costs doesn't it?

If you have 50/50 care, then all child benefits should be split 50/50 and all costs split 50/50. And he shouldn't be paying maintenance.

Really the fairest thing is to look at relative incomes. Do your households have a good balance? I pay £400 a month for one child, who I have about 3 days a week on average. That's because I want DD to not notice the difference between being with me and my ex.

Would he qualify for CTC if he applied? If so, maybe that is the way forward. I imagine you could run through some of the benefit calculators to see what the best choice would be.

He pays £200 a month in maintenance for our two sons and I pay for clothes, shoes, uniform, school dinners, school trips, and most after school activities

The costs you cover seem to be far in excess of £200 pm for 2 children! Who pays for childcare when you work?

Or have you given up a considerable part of your own earned income to facilitate the care of his children?

On the face of it, he is taking the p.

Surely it averages out over the year though, because the OP isn't going to have to buy clothes, shoes, uniforms every single month?

As PPs have said, once custody is 50/50 there should be no maintenance payments, but all child related outgoings should be 50/50.

I would say the fair thing is to each claim CB for one child. Your tax credits are related to your own income and circumstances so shouldn't be shared

You will likely have to inform dwp that you only have your dc half the time and they will reduce your benefits accordingly if appropriate

No they won’t. And no she doesn’t.

The most that can happen is he disputes residency and they assess usually based on who deals with day to day stuff that can be documented by outsiders where the children ‘live’ which for benefit purposes can only be with one parent

On the face of it, he is taking the p

Seriously? He has them 3 nights a week just now, soon to be moving to 50-50 care. He's not exactly a Disney dad.

On the face of it, he is taking the p

Seriously? He has them 3 nights a week just now, soon to be moving to 50-50 care. He's not exactly a Disney dad.

On the face of it, he is taking the p

Seriously? He has them 3 nights a week just now, soon to be moving to 50-50 care. He's not exactly a Disney dad.

Working tax credit is yours based on your income. Not splitable.
Child tax credit is again based on your income. Would exh get child tax credit based on his income? If not he is not entitled to it. (If he would then you claim for 1 child each.)

Remember for 50:50 he will also stop paying maintenance so make sure it is a 50:50 cost split too as well as time.

(taken ages to write so probably xposted with many!)

In a 50/50 split he should pay no maintenance and get half child benefit. He should apply for tax credits in his own name as they are means tested. You should tell the tax credit office that you have 50/50 care.

So you think It's fair that with 50/50 care, you receive £860 per month and ex is down £200?

The costs you cover seem to be far in excess of £200 pm for 2 children! Who pays for childcare when you work?

You think the costs come to over £4800 per year for uniform and after school club because remember op needs to contribute to half the costs too.

I'm nearly always on the side of the mother in these cases as usually they're the ones doing all of the parenting and the dad swoops in every other weekend but that's not the case here.

The costs you cover seem to be far in excess of £200 pm for 2 children! Who pays for childcare when you work?

You think the costs come to over £4800 per year for uniform and after school club because remember op needs to contribute to half the costs too.

I'm nearly always on the side of the mother in these cases as usually they're the ones doing all of the parenting and the dad swoops in every other weekend but that's not the case here.

@NeedsAsockamnesty that's why I said, if appropriate they would be reduced. I have no experience of benefits so was suggesting op inform dwp then she knows where she stands with them.

Depends how much he earns. If he is a high earner he may still be required to pay maintenance even on a 50/50 split. As the idea is to enable the children to have a similar standard of living in both households.

Also if a high earner he would not be entitled to tax credits or child benefit even if the children lived with him full-time. So in that case it would be unreasonable to expect the OP to share

So you think It's fair that with 50/50 care, you receive £860 per month and ex is down £200?

Surely the answer to that depends on their respective incomes? And whether or not shared care means that or is just a case of one parent doing all the caring/paying/leg work/time off and the other giving their child an evening meal 7 out of 14 evenings?

Shared care is a massive misnomer. Why should a parent earning £25k be paying the same towards bringing up their child as a partner earning £100k? Many parents have to pay for full childcare even though they don’t use it. Still more refuse to buy uniforms, get haircuts or do dental appointments despite having the 50/50 care in place. I have yet to come across a situation where shared care has genuinely meant that.

What is best for dc?

Good on you for putting your children first and aiding them to have equal time with both parents.

If you have 50/50 care then yes I think 50/50 is perfectly reasonable. All others would be yours and yours alone.

I don't get why he would pay maintenance to you if you 50/50 split though. Could you not agree one will put so much into the pot for clothing etc and the other will put the same and this pot is for clothing alone.

Sounds fair enough

He won't pay maintenance on 50/50, I guess that's part of the appeal. You will both need to pay 50/50 of all the children's uniform, childcare, etc.

Can't help but laugh at the OP ... I am used to the money ... AKA benefits. Children are not meal tickets. I can't believe you are receiving maintenance on top of this when it's share care. No wonder your ex doesn't pay for activities etc ...