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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed about this

226 replies

lookingforwardtoautumn · 27/08/2018 14:54

The schools website has said that term is from 3 September onwards. I’ve just found out there’s a training day on 31st August, and I’ve no child care ... Aibu to just say I can’t go?

OP posts:
Original poster
lookingforwardtoautumn · 27/08/2018 15:28

King

The first day is time with tutor groups.

I have never gone in during the holidays. Sometimes for results days if I’ve had exam classes. It’s never been a problem.

OP posts:
Original poster
lookingforwardtoautumn · 27/08/2018 15:29

Not possible blue

OP posts:
MissVanjie · 27/08/2018 15:29

humphy face at me all you like op

it's traditional in exchanges of information to give information, eg background etc

eg it's quite unusual to not do KIT days, this would probably have been relevant information to include in your op, as would other relevant background about your return to work and what contact you've had with SLT

are you this surly, lazy and cba at work as well?

LinkyPlease · 27/08/2018 15:30

Www.sitters.co.uk offer emergency childcare. It'll cost you a bit but probably not more than you'll earn for the day, so just one of those things you have to suck up if you have no other childcare.

It does seem an oversight noone from school emailed to let you know you were due in that day, you could mention it to the office but no point dwelling on it IMO, onwards and upwards

onlyconnect · 27/08/2018 15:30

You need to ask the nursery if they can have your child on 31st. You're a professional person, whose ever fault it is that you didn't know about it, there's no option not to go if you've been paid since nice 21 July.

If you think anything other than that my guess is you have other issues at work with regards to your commitment and professionalism

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 27/08/2018 15:30

Sorry but that’s ridiculous.

Personally having no one else other than yourself to look after a child is more ridiculous what happens if your child gets chicken pox or a prolonged bout of sickness you cannot be the only one taking time off work to look after her. It's not fair on the school, the children and it's not fair on yourself. Where's her Dad in all this, can't he have her for the inset day?

MiddleClassProblem · 27/08/2018 15:31

Drip, drip, drip went the OP

Hmmmmmm went the mn posters

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 27/08/2018 15:32

The first day is time with tutor groups.

You teach secondary and have never had to go into work in the Holidays for Prep, moving classrooms or inset days? Not even to tidy out a cupboard or change a display? Hmm

HesterMacaulay · 27/08/2018 15:32

Why do you think everyone else has free childcare from parents? Not the case for most. Most people pay for child care. I understand that ad hoc is more difficult but there are many ways to manage this without family support

MichonnesBBF · 27/08/2018 15:33

@MiddleClassProblem

Sorry but I think you are mistaken IME and current work situation I am not sure why you think there is less work for a teacher in a nursery? They can and do in my setting have more than 30 children on the register 52 in fact, all needing termly reports parents evenings, long/medium/daily planning completed as well as individual portfolios completed weekly, not to mention SEN reports/care plans, evidence gathering.

If a qualified teacher is assigned to nursery the ratio becomes 1-13 so only another 1 member of staff needed. as in my case as we only have room for 26 children at any given time.

Oh and nursery teachers are paid exactly the same as any other teacher given the amount of work is the same, just a different curriculum.

KingLooieCatz · 27/08/2018 15:34

I didn't do KIT days but I spoke to people about what would happen when I went back to work - where will I be and what I will I do and I can cut the day short a couple of times while baby settles in at child-minder's. I took the baby with me on one occasion, which is not unusual.

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 27/08/2018 15:34

Drip, drip, drip went the OP

This thread drips more than a leaky tap. I'm also baffled as to why it is apparently impossible for babies dad to have him for this one day?

Original poster
lookingforwardtoautumn · 27/08/2018 15:35

No heads I haven’t.

OP posts:
SillyMoomin · 27/08/2018 15:36

You’ve got a chip on your shoulder op because we haven’t all said “awww never mind, don’t worry about going in”

You need to take responsibility also for this. Stop making excuses, regardless of who should have or shouldn’t have told you- you now do know, so organise some
Emergency childcare and go in

Original poster
lookingforwardtoautumn · 27/08/2018 15:37

This thread is horrible and has really upset me actually.

The baby’s dad left me. I can’t get in touch.

I don’t think having a baby and booking her into a nursery while I am at work is irresponsible parenting. Obviously there might be times when she’s unwell and can’t go to nursery. I’d have to explain to school and take time off, that isn’t irresponsible parenting.

Anyway, I just panicked a bit.

OP posts:
Original poster
lookingforwardtoautumn · 27/08/2018 15:37

I haven’t moomin I’m just a bit shaken.

OP posts:
MissVanjie · 27/08/2018 15:37

Heads this is where op comes back and goes 'my baby's dad is on manoeuvres in Afghanistan/dead/permanently in an iron lung/in prison for a crime he didn't commit HOW DARE YOU not be precognitively aware of this Hmm'

user1471530109 · 27/08/2018 15:38

OP, as .sure you know, it's quite normal to have an inset day at the start of term

TBf to you, when looking for term dates, this is normally listed. So, it would usually say, term starts on 31st August.

Our inset day is on the 3rd. But my dd's school have their inset on the 31st.

I think you've been given a bit of a hard time on here. But at the same time, I don't understand how you didn't question that you thought there was no inset day! You sound like you teach secondary. So surely you have the exam debrief and safeguarding etc.

Original poster
lookingforwardtoautumn · 27/08/2018 15:39

Yes, it normally does user

And we have never, ever once been back in August before, so it’s really thrown me.

Anyways, I’m deleting my account - I’m not robust enough for this.

OP posts:
SillyMoomin · 27/08/2018 15:39

Well stop being shaken op, you’re a professional woman, in the kindest tough love kind of way, get a grip, put your big woman’s head on and sort out some practicals so you can get into work on 31st

Though I, like the other teachers on this thread am amazed you’ve never had to go in in the holidays before. How can you possibly be prepared for the new term!!

Original poster
lookingforwardtoautumn · 27/08/2018 15:39

I thought it happened at the end of last term user

(Before anyone starts, new staff have a special day.)

OP posts:
Original poster
lookingforwardtoautumn · 27/08/2018 15:40

What precisely am I supposed to be preparing that can’t possibly be done at home

Genuinely

Do tell, I’m all ears.

OP posts:
HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 27/08/2018 15:40

This thread is horrible and has really upset me actually.
The baby’s dad left me. I can’t get in touch.

It might be worth putting all these facts into the first post surely you expected people to ask why he couldn't look after the baby.

I really don't think anyone has been horrible but you must realise that in teaching you have to have a backup, it doesn't work if it's all on your shoulders you really cannot take days off without it impacting on the learning of the children you are in charge of teaching.

You need to find a reliable alternative for when your child cannot go to nursery or when you cannot be off work otherwise your going to face huge problems.

Lazypuppy · 27/08/2018 15:41

OP you need to understand you need back up childcare, surely as a teacher you won't just be able to take time off at short notice when your baby gets ill. Regardless of this training day, you need a plan in place long term.

MojoMoon · 27/08/2018 15:41

You can always get childcare.
It's just expensive.

Sitters.co.uk will have emergency nannies you can book for a day at v short notice. That is what the many people without family nearby do.

But it sounds like you just want us to say it's fine, don't go in.

Have you done any prep for your return? How on earth will you teach the first lessons?
Do you even know what classes have?