Best Seller - Why Mummy Drinks etc ...?

[todayiwin]

Disclaimer - I have not read this book but very familiar with this type of book and various blogs, Hurrah for Gin etc. I am also aware I don't have to read it, scroll in past.

My DM is an alcoholic, Sober 10 Years through recovery in a 12 Step programme. This I am eternally grateful for, DM was an active alcoholic for over 20 years, my childhood was a living hell at times. I am dealing with this as an adult.

Now here is my AIBU.

AIBU that these books, blogs are justifying and glamorising drinking as a parent and it's your child's fault? Extract below. I'm probably struggling at the moment in dealing with my past but there is no way on earth I ever want my DC thinking "Mummy drinks because of me"

"But Mummy does not want to go quietly into that good night of women with sensible haircuts who ‘live for their children’ and stand in the playground trying to trump each other with their offspring’s extracurricular activities and achievements, and boasting about their latest holidays.
Instead, she clutches a large glass of wine, muttering ‘FML’ over and over again"

Probably over thinking it to be honest.

I think the same, but I have a (now recovering and sober) alcoholic husband who used to use the "stress" of the kids to justify his drinking and so I'm pretty sensitive about it too now.

Thank you @GothMummy. It's really resonating with me at the moment.

Whilst I also have to appreciate not everyone who drinks is an alcoholic, this whole "Mummy's juice, Wine O'clock, let's drink gin out of beakers" why Mummy drinks marketing is just in such POOR taste.

If my DC ever saw me in the state my DM was I can't tell you how damaging it is (well I prob can!)

Well done to your Husband. Recovery is a hard road but WORTH every single one day at a time.

I used to follow her on Facebook but it did get a bit tedious to be honest. And I like a drink!

Adverts do the same. No one would say "5pm a line of coke it is'' but alcohol is a drug and just as damaging to the individual. More damaging to society as a whole.
That said i have read the book and i enjoyed it.

YABU - some people are able to drink and enjoy drinking without having an alcohol problem and putting the blame for other people having drinking problems on books and blogs is ridiculous.

People need to take responsibility for their own choices and actions and stop playing the blame game. These blogs are clearly VERY tongue in cheek and meant to be a humorous take on the drudgery of life.

I hear you op. I've seen the books and just seeing the cover page fills me with sorrow and unreasonable rage. My 'mother' has been a physically and mentally abusive drunk my whole life and it's soul destroying. My dad died quicker because of her boozing and now my sister is also an alcoholic. People think it's a joke but it's not. It's serious and awful. Alcoholism is not a fucking meme.

My mother was an alcoholic and I enjoy these things. I empathise with them a lot. Obviously I don't drink a drop when my children are around (yes I'm looking at you middle class British mums) but I often get the feeling of wtf is modern parenthood and why are all the women dressed like twelve year olds (the mummies in my area all suddenly only wear joules as soon as their 'bubba' is born).

I hear you @MediocrePenguin but active addiction is not just about taking responsibility for ones actions and yes not everyone who drinks is an alcoholic and not everyone who does a line of coke is a coke addict. Addiction is a killer.

Yes of course it's meant tongue in cheek, I suppose I am overly sensitive, I just find it poor taste.

yes I'm looking at you middle class British mums

I don't understand this. Do you mean that middle class British mums do or don't drink when their children are around? Because I know some who do and some who don't. Similarly with non middle class British mums.

Personally I can see why the general tone of these books and blogs would be jarring to those who have experienced alcoholism but as a pp said, they're deliberately exaggerated for comic effect. I doubt these things are enough to tip someone into alcoholism who wasn't likely to go there anyway.

My dad died of alcoholism and I have never viewed theses books like that, I enjoy them!

I thought one of the points of the book was that the main character is obviously a functioning alcoholic. And a generally unbearable person...

I just think it’s unspeakably naff rather than anything

Just like the obsession for prosecco anything and now gin anything

And the naff signs saying “keep calm and drink gin” etc

YANBU

For full disclosure: I am taking a break from drinking at the moment (2 weeks so far) to see whether I want to make it a more permanent decision.

I don’t have a problem with people enjoying a drink. But I do think British culture leans too much on alcohol as a way of having fun / dealing with tough times or just boredom.

Exactly @PaintBySticker ... my European friends find it bizarre we drink without food

I would say you are being sensitive. My dad is an alcoholic, handled parenting badly, but I don’t assume that every parent who drinks is blaming the kids.

I think it is more an obvious symbol of solidarity. It’s like saying ‘don’t worry, I stress about parenting and need to unwind too, it’s not just you’ but in a short and snappy way.

I’m not a huge drinker, and when I’m stressed I tend to clean. But ‘why mummy cleans’ does not have the same obvious meaning.

I think it’s just one of those things you have to accept will always mean something different to you than others.

I hate how the U.K. glamorises drinking in general to be honest. I don’t, or very rarely, drink. Can not stand how many people feel the need to get drunk all the time.

Yes @JustTheLemons I 100% take that on board. I'm just sensitive at the moment

Yes @BlairWaldorfsHeadband ..... exactly this. We even walk about with motifs on clothing about it.

I have not read this book

So you really can't comment! I have read the book. I have seen the Facebook and Twitter postings. The book is quite different from the social media postings (and not in a good way, imho) and isn't all about getting shit-faced. Going to the pub and having a drink is a tiny part of it. Same as in other similar books like Bridget Jones' Diary or any chick-lit about young women in their 20s and 30s.

You're being over sensitive and ridiculous.

Rachel's holiday by Marian Keyes is hilarious and insightful

It’s very tongue in cheek. I’ll often have a glass of wine after a rough day with the kids, it’s my chance to sit down quietly for half an hour and just relax. But it is just one, and I don’t NEED it. It is a culture in Britain that we have a drink to wind down after a busy day. She’s just highlighting this culture.

I understand that personal circumstances may make this subject raw and painful but that’s not the case for everyone and I do think that it’s done very humerously and doesn’t encourage people to become alcoholics xx

i used to follow her on Facebook but it got massively tedious. Also her life never actually seemed that stressful.

I had to make packed lunches and one of my kids hit the other kid

OMG GET THE SPIRITS OUT FUCK MY LIFE

I’ve even had, when people ask me why I don’t drink, them being confused when I say “I don’t like the taste and would rather have an orange juice!”.

They always reply “no one drinks it for the taste” and I think that’s depressing.

"But Mummy does not want to go quietly into that good night of women with sensible haircuts who ‘live for their children’ and stand in the playground trying to trump each other with their offspring’s extracurricular activities and achievements, and boasting about their latest holidays.Instead, she clutches a large glass of wine, muttering ‘FML’ over and over again"

what a load of judgemental bullshit! Glad I stopped following her

Oh yes I totally understand that most people are capable of drinking sensibly but I do think all the "Gin O Clock" stuff normalises alcohol dependency ......