Best Seller - Why Mummy Drinks etc ...?

[todayiwin]

Disclaimer - I have not read this book but very familiar with this type of book and various blogs, Hurrah for Gin etc. I am also aware I don't have to read it, scroll in past.

My DM is an alcoholic, Sober 10 Years through recovery in a 12 Step programme. This I am eternally grateful for, DM was an active alcoholic for over 20 years, my childhood was a living hell at times. I am dealing with this as an adult.

Now here is my AIBU.

AIBU that these books, blogs are justifying and glamorising drinking as a parent and it's your child's fault? Extract below. I'm probably struggling at the moment in dealing with my past but there is no way on earth I ever want my DC thinking "Mummy drinks because of me"

"But Mummy does not want to go quietly into that good night of women with sensible haircuts who ‘live for their children’ and stand in the playground trying to trump each other with their offspring’s extracurricular activities and achievements, and boasting about their latest holidays.
Instead, she clutches a large glass of wine, muttering ‘FML’ over and over again"

Probably over thinking it to be honest.

I haven't read all of the comments @todayiwin but I understand what you are saying. I lived with a mantra that constantly reminded me all that my parents had sacrificed for their children and had other sorts of behaviour that were deemed to be the fault of myself and my siblings (sorry for the clumsy writing).

I never want my children to feel anything other than loved and never to feel responsible for my behaviour. Who knows what she is like in real life but I hope her children feel loved and not a massive inconvenience in their mother's life or worse, fodder for her blog / writings.

It is not OK to blame your children for your drinking and it is not OK to drink every night. I live in France and see a huge difference in the drinking cultures here and in Europe. I also find the gin and prosecco obsessions weird. I like gin but was somewhat taken aback when a friend went into details about rhubarb gin, pink gin, another gin and which one should be served with lemon, lime or grapefruit (implying that I was some sort of uncultured idiot for not knowing), it took all my self restraint to say... it's all made up!!!!

YANBU. My friend sent me a copy of Hurrah for Gin's first book thinking I'd like it. As with the Unmumsy Mum book, I read a few chapters and then got bored. These women write well and many bits are relatable. But when you play the same time over and over it gets very dull and stale.

Social media is inundated with similar bloggers. Tbf to HFG and Unmumsy, they are at the top end of the scale. It's tedious how many mum bloggers are out there earning a living being Insta influencers (I appreciate there's another thread on this so sorry for for digressing OP).

But yes. Mummy drinks etc is at best naff (totally agree with the OP who said that, what is this gin obsession, I hate the stuff and would far rather have champagne over prosecco!) and triggering for those who have alcoholic family members or are alcoholics themselves.

Since having DC the desire and opportunity to drink heavily have both been very limited. I like a drink but it's never more than a glass or two, my DC sleep so poorly that I don't really have a choice in the matter They certainly don't drive me to drink, although I can't say the same about chocolate...

I quite liked all the mummy bloggers who broke out and said that parenthood is a bit shit sometimes but never mind let's have some wine. BUT I don't like that it has now turned into a kind of culture.

As some other posters have said, here in the UK - most of us, not all - enjoy some of the best living standards in the world. We have access to affordable food that Kings & Queens couldn't have eaten in the past and our children are educated free at the point of delivery and we have healthcare that is also free at the point of access. We enjoy luxurious homes, again that Kings & Queens couldn't have imagined, that are warm in winter, have hot & cold running water and give us privacy from our neighbours and we are mostly safe on the streets day & night and can speak our mind, whenever we want.

Any yet, some of the most fortunate have decided that moaning & whining about the smallest & pettiest of inconveniences is endlessly amusing and somehow to be aspired to.

Don't get me wrong, we all need a moan from time to time and we all need to vent BUT I think these blogs & books encourage the whole Fuck My Life way too much and make us forget how very lucky most of us really are.

*tune not time

10/10 @margotlovebutter actually spot on

Fuck My Life way too much and make us forget how very lucky most of us really are.

I don't know about the 'why mummy drinks' book as I haven't read it, but I don't think Hurrah for gin falls into that category.

Let me make something clear, I am no “great mama”. I get bored and frustrated and annoyed with my children. But I do actually like them.

What @NerrSnerr just posted crystallises my point; sometimes it can veer into sounding like these woman really HATE being mums, like actively regret their decisions.

Again if someone posted that on one of the boards here as an extract from their every day life folk would be calling for the poster to visit her G.P. for some anti depressants sharpish

YABU.

Most people are able to moderate their own alcoholic intake and enjoy the benefits of alcohol. When our DC was diagnosed with severe special needs, there's no doubt that coming home from hospital and discussing everything over a glass or two of wine with DH helped us take in the enormity of what we had to cope with, without us becoming alcoholics or anything like it.

I feel very sorry for those touched by alcoholism - it has affected people in my family and I know how horrendous it is. But that does not mean there should not be light-hearted jokes about alcohol for the vast majority of people who drink in moderation, and for pleasure.

On the other hand, What Mummy Drinks is an utterly shite book. I mean, THE worst pile of crap I have read for a very long time. But perhaps that is not the point of this thread.

Banana - exactly

I was bought that book recently, I don't fancy reading it, especially after also being bought the Unmumsy Mum books previously.
I liked the Unmumsy Mum's blogs but the books were tedious in my opinion. The whole concept has been done to death. Yes I've chuckled at the bits you can relate to, but the whole "turning to wine/gin every evening" thing is getting old.
I have 3 children and can honestly say I've never turned to drink. Chocolate maybe...

I'm a single parent. I don't drink when I have responsibility of my child and I don't think that's exceptional. But then I'm working class so can't get away with such wah wah pass the gin nonsense. OP YANBU and these books are trash.

In fairness, I would be amazed if the author actually got to choose the title of her book.

Her second book is “Why Mummy Swears”. I think someone in the marketing department has chosen a theme to run with.

What I find weird is that before having kids, I was quite a heavy drinker, but cut back loads, almost to the point where I hardly drink at all anymore, and yet other parents seem to have upped their drinking after having kids and think it's funny? Is it a case of they didn't drink much before and so are in that stage of thinking it's 'cool'?

Just a muse, I'm not trying to insult anyone BTW.

I haven't read the full thread but totally agree that there's nothing funny about people who find parenting so awful they have to drink to cope with it. I've spent over 20 years caring for children, many of whom have been taken into care due to parental alcohol misuse (and other issues surrounding that). The whole 'wine o clock' culture is just awful

Haven't read the whole thread but YES! Also an alcoholic who is now sober for five years. I actually feel the rage at books and 'hilarious' blogs like this. It is awful. My eldest dc's childhood was ruined by my drinking and my younger two still remember how dreadful I was at times.
I also get unreasonably furious at fb and other such social media posts finding drinking so highly amusing or essential for woman - especially mothers. The destruction caused by drink is awful. Yes, I know most people can manage to control their drinking but encouraging it is so irresponsible still.

YANBU, it kins of normalises drinking to help with stress, which can be a dependancy. Tells you it is Ok as we all do it.

Big wave @Lepetitpiggy

Back atcha I do get cross !!