Best Seller - Why Mummy Drinks etc ...?

[todayiwin]

Disclaimer - I have not read this book but very familiar with this type of book and various blogs, Hurrah for Gin etc. I am also aware I don't have to read it, scroll in past.

My DM is an alcoholic, Sober 10 Years through recovery in a 12 Step programme. This I am eternally grateful for, DM was an active alcoholic for over 20 years, my childhood was a living hell at times. I am dealing with this as an adult.

Now here is my AIBU.

AIBU that these books, blogs are justifying and glamorising drinking as a parent and it's your child's fault? Extract below. I'm probably struggling at the moment in dealing with my past but there is no way on earth I ever want my DC thinking "Mummy drinks because of me"

"But Mummy does not want to go quietly into that good night of women with sensible haircuts who ‘live for their children’ and stand in the playground trying to trump each other with their offspring’s extracurricular activities and achievements, and boasting about their latest holidays.
Instead, she clutches a large glass of wine, muttering ‘FML’ over and over again"

Probably over thinking it to be honest.

Wow @PolkerrisBeach I've been called many things but ridiculous .... fuck me

When I drank, I would make these sorts of jokes.

tbh I still have loads of things to do in the evening so if I had a large gin at 6.30 none of it would get done.

I don’t understand how anyone can drink gin! Stuff smells like paint stripper.

I hadn’t even thought of it from alcoholism perspective but I hate this kind of thing. It comes across as really pathetic. I don’t drink due to being Muslim but still manage to “survive” parenting just fine - I don’t see the need for all the angst and “OMG I need gin” every few minutes.

Father was an alcoholic - and was violent and abusive to boot. I don't find these books offensive, but I do agree that they're naff and I don't think much of the 'wine o'clock' 'mommy's medicine time' type stuff, it's tacky and poor excuse some people use to be irresponsible.

I agree OP. Its like saying you're an irritating little shit and I've resorted to drugging myself to deal with you.

Whats

Fml

I agree with you to a point. I have the book but didn’t get very far with it and no longer follow. I think it made me feel like a large glass of wine each night was normal. But actually I don’t think it is. There are far better ways to deal with the stresses! I’ve got into a habit now that I’m finding it really hard to break. I feel unhappy with how much I’ve started to rely on a glass of wine and until very recently I comforted myself with how apparently ‘ok’ it is to keep up this habit!
I can imagine that having dealt with the horrid effects of alcohol abuse growing up this kind of stuff must be really upsetting and I don’t think you are being unreasonable.
I suppose for a lot of people it is totally under control and no negative impact on kids but I do find the whole ‘FML’ not depressing!! Sad to feel that way about parenting. Even if it is tongue in cheek!
Anyway, this has made me think more about why I’m cutting wayback with drinking so thank you for posting!

I meant I find that ‘bit’ depressing!

Many people do have to anthetise themselves though to cope with their dc and thier lives at times.

Firawla. Bully for you. What a strange comment.

How can you possibly judge what you manage just fine compared to what someone else is massively struggling with.

Sometimes it's jokey... Sometimes people are making a joke out of serious needs and issues.
Some people cannot cope well with their dc, they may have no family support, no money, other troubled that came on unexpectedly... Who knows.

I also hate this... Muslims don't drink as a superior judgement.
There are plenty of other types of drugs sloshing around in the Muslim community.

rose

FML = fuck my life

It's also a counterpoint to the nauseating instagrammers and their #makingmemories and #famalam shite.

Many people do have to anthetise themselves though to cope with their dc and thier lives at times.

Why? I have an autistic child and have anxiety myself. I’ve never felt the need to drink to cope with the difficulties of parenting a disabled child, and certainly never felt my child drives me to it.

Perhaps if people spent as much money on learning new coping strategies as they do on gin, the world would be a bit better

YANBU. I've never followed any of these blogs but I've seen enough to know it looks like a load of old crap. Somebody thought it was funny to make a joke about mummy needing a gin and now the whole world has to think it's hilarious, for ever.

People constantly post similar quotes on FB and it's so fucking dull. Actually I think I just need to get off FB.

I agree OP. My DPs father was an abusive alcoholic. My mother drank too much too.

It’s the amount of books etc out there at the minute that are all on the ‘truth’ bandwagon, and it’s getting a bit much.

@PolkerrisBeach sorry bit uncalled for ... I'm just jealous I can't drink like a "normal" person apologies for my curtness

It’s all fucking pish isn’t it

I hope to god we are about to leave this totally bollocks competitive uselessness embraced by these insufferable middle class douchebags who have privelige coming out of every fucking orifice yet perpetuate this “comedy” harassed-to-the-max persona because Oscar or Milo bit the other today

Get in the fucking sea. And stay there.

Many people do have to anthetise themselves though to cope with their dc and thier lives at times.

Just WOW! I'll remind my younger self that when my DM was in vomit coma and it was her way of coping with me? Was I really that bad she had to do that?

God help us if someone of a “lower class” admitted to such practices; social services would be called sharpish.

I enjoyed both books, very tongue in cheek mockery of modern middle class fuckwittery, and made me laugh out loud. Not meant to be taken seriously, at all. And pretty sure the writer is a MNetter.

@Roseandvioletcreams why is @firawla comment a bit strange?

Doesn't drink as she is a Muslim, that's what Islam as a religion believes. It's not strange it's her faith.

Surely if you don't think it's funny/relevant, don't read the books or follow the Instagram. I don't follow either, but if forced I'd rather read something like this than the #blessed overly curated family blogs.

Enough people think it's funny that the blog and book is successful - I presume, as we're talking about it.

I must admit I find all this hysteria about wine o clock a bit over the top. I don't think anyone is really promoting it as an aspirational lifestyle. We all know drinking too much isn't good for us. But I've never seen the pitchforks come out about the obesity crisis when someone says they've had a tough day with the kids and are breaking out the chocolate

Yes @PaulHollywoodsSexGut !!

@DryIce I did say in my OP that I do scroll past / don't read. I am just having a discussion as this came up the other day in therapy.

Yes it is promoted. Prosecco time. Gin o clock. Mummy's medicine. Mummy's juice. The kids are driving me crackers by 4pm where is my secret stash of wine I can drink from a Paw Patrol cup.

Of course it's tongue in cheek and yes it's funny.

It just personally makes me feel a bit shit that "Mummy drinks because of me"

And @Roseandvioletcreams post "Many people do have to anthetise themselves though to cope with their dc and thier lives at times" yes it's probably true but reading it like that has just made me a bit