To ask for your help to 'look polished'?

[pumpkinsandtreacle]

I know this might be a daft point to many, and apologies in advance if this isn't something that anyone here doesn't agree with or understand but it's something important to me at the moment.......

I have two DCs preschool age and a DH working abroad. Youngest DC is 3, and I've had a bit of a battle with PND and OCD since becoming a parent. At worst, it was, well, utterly horrendous and really terrifying but I feel like I'm coming out the other side now and have felt well, really well in fact, for a while (bar an unexpected relapse in May just so my brain could remind me it was still 'the boss').

One thing that has gone to pot throughout is any self of self-pride in my appearance and general 'wellbeing'. I'm clean, don't get me wrong - somewhere amidst the crazy and the chaos of having two preschoolers I promise I shower at least once a day :)

But, beyond that I'm a bit clueless as to how I look as 'polished' as so many of the lovely people I see in everyday life. I throw on whatever I find in the morning without a second thought (a lot of jogging bottoms and crocs - at the same time), hair (long and wild) is thrown into a Mum-bun and I slap on a bit of moisturiser if I'm lucky.

I'd love to just work out how to make being 'polished' a bit more of a routine? Does anyone have any good tips?? The one thing I thought I could do is actually lay out some clothes the night before, and just before I go to bed maybe just put everything on a hanger so it's ready to go? I know many people probably already do that, and I sound like a total buffoon, but that's where I am at the moment.

What do people do about make up? Hair? Nails? Jewellery? Or even if none of those things apply to you what do you do to feel 'finished' of a day? Nice shoes? A handbag (as opposed to the bag for life I seem to currently be carrying as it's got the kids' swimming things in along with my wallet)?? My skin's terribly dry but in the shower, do people really 'exfoliate'?? How do you genuinely have time to moisturise afterwards too?? How do so many parents have immaculate hair??? Is it really a daily wash and blow-dry kind of thing??

I don't want to look like a Kardashian. I just want to look like I've made a bit of an effort without needing to devote a length of time I don't have into doing so. I feel like if I plan for stuff I can just feel a bit better about myself, but I don't really know what to plan??

Also, I'd love to find a way to try some mindulness or yoga. I didn't cover mindfulness in therapy really, it was a lot of CBT and a few other treatments but I never got to practice mindfulness. Does anyone have any advice how I can make that kind of thing a simple addition to life? Is there such a thing as a ten-minute yoga routine I could try and do before the kids get up? Mindfulness etc - when do you fit it in??

Like I say, I know this kind of thing won't be of interest to many. And I'm sorry if this sounds self-indulgent and a silly thing to be trying to prioritise. But it's part of something bigger for me in terms of recovery and I'd really love any advice or tips or help anyone can give.

Thanks for reading, and for your time xx

Thru out the crocs and jogging bottoms. Buy simple smart clothes in colours that all work together. Invest some time in a blow out if you already blow dry your hair anyway. Use tinted moisturiser.

I have one year old twins so like you I have very little time. I doubt I look polished but the things I do are quick shower every morning with hair in shower cap so I don't have to wash it. Wash face in shower. Whack moisturizer on arms and legs, deodorant on, spray of perfume, brush teet moisturizer on face, mascara, lip gloss or lipstick on. Touch of blusher if I think I look pale.
Once every three days I have a longer shower in the evening where I shave legs and wash then blow dry hair. I keep nails short and clean and put clear varnish on them. Paint toe nails as that lasts for ages. I get my hair cut every 12 weeks.
One thing I also do is pay to have my teeth properly cleaned at the dentist about twice a year as I think this makes a big difference when you have white, clean teeth.

I’ve just skimmed, but PLEASE PLEASE measure your bust properly using this calculator. I’ll bet any money you’re not a 34A and getting a properly fitting bra on will make such a difference.

booborbust.com

I'm another advocate of Superdrug's vitamin E range- the spray on moisturiser for your body is refreshing and saves so much time. Vaseline is ace, your heels, eyes, mouth, elbows, eye brows will look and feel amazing for next to no cost!

Reading with interest as I’m in a similar boat to OP

Please don't use wipes on your face. Use a balm cleanser and a flannel - better for your skin and the planet. Wash the flannel after every use, you can buy a few for about £2 in Primark.

Good bra, property fitted.

Eyebrows, well shaped and filled in if they need it.

I have a uniform - jeans or plain trousers and Breton tops with sandals or leather high tops. Everything's black, navy, grey or white.

Mascara always and usually bright lipstick, takes two minutes.

Well cut hair.

Done!

Placemarking

Simple capsule wardrobe. Everything matching and in neutral colours then use a scarf etc to add a splash of colour.

Ditch the crocs and jogging bottoms. Buy fitted stretch jersey trousers...as comfy but look way better.

I’ll bet any money you’re not a 34A

What's with all this disbelief that small breasts exist???

Smaller cup sizes are normally associated with a smaller back size than 34 inch.

another

I see. I also have long feet but not fat ankles! Does that blow your mind?

RoboticSealpup it’s just very unusual for there to be literally only 1 inch difference between chest and over bust measurement, and even more so if the back is 34 inches. So many women thinking they’re a much bigger back size than they are and it distorts the rest of the the bra sizing. I’ve also never yet seen one of these threads where a poster who thinks they’re an A measures properly and actually is.

RoboticSealpup that does not but then I made no comments on OP or anyone else needing a new bra.

But the website below may blow your mind when your measure your own boobs.

thebetterbracampaign.blogspot.com/p/fitting-advice.html?m=1

Johnson's clean and clear cleanser has been a gift to my combination skin, possibly knocking on is part of it but my skin s really good breakout wise at the moment, even on my period.

It's a quick cleanse if you're thinking of minimum fuss routines

Love the variety of hints and tips on here, sirelots of people are finding it useful!

For those of you who use exfoliating gloves do they not get smelly and mouldy? How do you clean them after your shower?

Placemarking

humpydumptynumbty pop them in the wash with my towels

Bin the joggers and the crocs

Get a low maintenance easy haircut that still looks good! I've just gone to a pixie crop that takes me all of 2 mins to blow dry and style

Go to the makeup counter and get them to colour match you a really good lipstick. I always feel like I've got my shit together with a slick of red puppy!

Haha obv lippy not puppy! Silly autocorrect

Ironed clothes hung up in 5 outfits at the weekend, with trousers that fit. I have a work bag and a weekend handbag. Earrings. The old advice to chuck out everything that either doesn't fit or doesn't make you feel good even if it did fit. Trade the crocs for some smart flat sandals/ canvas shoes for summer, boots for winter.

On mindfulness, read Thich Nhat Hanh's the miracle of mindfulness and learn how to wash the dishes to wash the dishes. A daily practice of counting your blessings at the start and end of the day is a good mind-protector too.

Maybe this sounds silly but one day I decided to stop buying clothes I didn’t like/were dowdy. I only buy lovely clothes now and it is very easy to get dressed as I always look polished because I don’t have any bobbly, ill fitting clothes now. The majority of my wardrobe is second hand but I do follow some ‘rules’:
It has to look new
It has to be from a high end/designer label
It has to spark joy!
Leather, cashmere, silk and cotton always look nice and I avoid synthetic fibre most of the time ( there are exceptions)

If you do have money then spend it on leather shoes, bag and a classic coat that is slightly fitted.

I buy a leather bag from tk max and once spent £200 on a coat 13 years ago that still looks amazing and I wear it every winter.

Then it’s the usual nails, hair, eyebrows and I love dove tinted moisturiser.

it’s just very unusual for there to be literally only 1 inch difference between chest and over bust measurement

If you're very flat chested then of course your breasts won't stick out much. One inch sounds about right.

I’ve also never yet seen one of these threads where a poster who thinks they’re an A measures properly and actually is.

I'm probably more like an AA. I usually buy my bras from the children's department.

Sorry to derail the thread, OP!

Just thought of something else: I never but synthetic materials anymore. I had a wardrobe clear-out a few years ago and I realised that everything I threw had polyester in it, whereas all the stuff that had lasted for years was natural materials.

Also, what does exfoliation actually do?

Removes dead skin.