Mother encouraging her child to scream in restaurant

[user1485342611]

I was in a restaurant and a mother with a baby aged about 10-12 months and in a high chair were at a table near us. The baby was playing happily with a plastic toy when the mother suddenly dropped her spoon on the floor. He thought it was funny and gave a happy squeal. So the mum kept pretending to drop the spoon to make him laugh. The problem was that each time the laugh got more and more high pitched and in the end he was literally screaming with excitement every time she went to 'drop' the spoon.

This went on for ages and people were turning around and giving her annoyed looks and two women at the table beside them moved away.

AIBU to think she was being really inconsiderate and that this went beyond just a bit of happy playing and strayed into noisy and disruptive behaviour (from the mum, obviously, not the baby).

Retrocolour85 I believe most people wouldn't have a problem with listening to a child laughing, squealing and screaming is entirely different. I don't think people with children should never leave the house. I do think people with children have to take responsibility for making sure they behave appropriately in public. Unless you think people who don't want to listen to children squealing and screaming in cafes and restaurants, because parents won't do anything about it, should stay at home?

And how ridiculous to say “I hope that conversation was important!!”
Do you seriously imagine you should be allowed to sit in a restaurant while your squealing child drowns out the conversation at adjoining tables??

You are truly something else in the selfish idiot stakes.

Some people here deliberately misunderstand what the majority are saying, no one minds children, families etc. in a restaurant. I made it clear to mine when they were young and took them out to eat that it was a treat. Everybody there was paying to enjoy their food and surroundings and they couldn't behave the way the would say in the park, or even at home. Otherwise how do they learn to consider others if they are encouraged to do what they like even if that impinges on other people's enjoyment.

If I see a parent struggling with a child who is screaming and screaching, I am full of empathy for them. It's when parents completely ignore this behaviour, when the child is upset and other people are disturbed, that I find really annoying.

I don't have an issue with this, I'm afraid. I wouldn't do it with my child if I could see it was annoying people. However I'd rather see a mum playing with her baby than ignoring it on her phone or yelling at it. Live and let live.

Happy noises are fine compared to distressed squawking!

Happy noises are fine compared to distressed squawking!

Agreed

Retro it does matter when someone finds that noise distressing.

I'd rather high pitched squealing with delight then a distressed baby tbh. Some may find it annoying and disruptive others don't.
As pp have said it depends on the environment.

I was probably guilty of this very thing when my dc were younger, I certainly am now with my nieces and nephews. I'm not averse to game of peek a boo which has been known to illicit shrieks of high pitched laughter. Most people look over smiling and if they're not happy about it they're not bothered enough to say anything.
Live and let live they aren't babies for long!

Context is important too, lunchtime in a cafe is different to an evening meal in a restaurant.
If you weren't bothered enough to speak up or ask staff to do so on your behalf (along with the other supposedly aggrieved) customers it can't have been that bad!

You sound amazingly self absorbed, pinkunicorn
They aren’t babies for long... Wtf??

You're certainly entitled to that opinion, but you don't know me, the fact is I enjoyed my kids when they were babies as I do my nieces and nephews. It would be very sad to not interact and play with them just because I've left the house.

They aren't dolls, babies are living beings with wants and needs. If it makes me self involved to play then I guess I am :)

So the ignorant mother was essentially teaching her child to be loud and throw shit on the floor 😒

Consideration for others in public spaces, whether it be the person who sets up office in a hotel foyer, and then has the cheek to start ssshing other guests, as per another thread, or those who do that on trains. Similarly, a restaurant/cafe is not a creche. Members of the public who bring babies and children don't occupy restaurant spaces in glorious isolation they need to be aware of others who will have paid to enjoy a meal out.

performance parenting

SO PLEASED THERE IS A NAME FOR THIS WANKERY PARENTING!!!!!!

I’ll give you the opposite experience I had earlier. A child desperately trying to get Mum’s attention but she’s too busy buried in her phone to look up/speak to her toddler. For about 40 minutes. No interaction at all. That child would have loved the dropped spoon game.

Wankery parenting is better actually!! Does just what it says on the tin...

You really don't want anyone to disagree with you do you OP!

I absolutely disagree with you, unless this went on for 15+ minutes.

The people who genuinely believe that everyone is or should be as enamoured with their screamy little precious as they are. Selfish and ignorant. I stopped going to a local naice cafe because it turned into a performance parenting crèche (Cinnamon in Ranelagh for the benefit of the op!)

You sound like a misery guts OP.

I don't mind anyone disagreeing with me JustMeHere.

But as the majority of posters have totally agreed with me, I am reassured that I wasn't being unreasonable to find this mother really annoying and inconsiderate.

PinkUnicorn the fact that no one says anything doesn't necessarily mean that they're 'not bothered'. It often means that they don't want to make a scene or risk getting a mouthful of abuse.

I’m in Dublin next week, Blackbird, thanks for the tip-off.
Is there anywhere on the Southside that hasn’t succumbed to the yummy mummy’s and their one coffee for the whole three hours of their kids trashing the place?

I am autistic, as are a number (the majority, TBH) of people in my family.

My 10-year-old nephew and I are both quite sensitive to sound, especially very high-pitched sounds like incessant screaming or squealing (and props to the parents on here who have mentioned that even their own children's 'happy noises' drive them close to the edge at times!).

Now, I suppose we could spend our lives in the house wearing ear defenders, but we do quite like getting out and about a wee bit from time to time, overly demanding as I realise this may sound.

So, by way of a thought experiment, in the situation described by the OP, who has more 'rights'?

I think it's very context dependent. A woman was doing this with her child on a flight once and given you are in such a small claustrophobic space it was really annoying. I also wouldn't do this in a nice restaurant. But a pub or informal restaurant, I would expect it to be noisy and this wouldn't bother me unless it was really extreme. Doesn't sound much like performance parenting to me either. I'd do almost anything to make my 1yo laugh because it makes me really happy. Definitely not for the benefit of others.

@thistle, In the situation the OP has described would you say something?