Mother encouraging her child to scream in restaurant

[user1485342611]

I was in a restaurant and a mother with a baby aged about 10-12 months and in a high chair were at a table near us. The baby was playing happily with a plastic toy when the mother suddenly dropped her spoon on the floor. He thought it was funny and gave a happy squeal. So the mum kept pretending to drop the spoon to make him laugh. The problem was that each time the laugh got more and more high pitched and in the end he was literally screaming with excitement every time she went to 'drop' the spoon.

This went on for ages and people were turning around and giving her annoyed looks and two women at the table beside them moved away.

AIBU to think she was being really inconsiderate and that this went beyond just a bit of happy playing and strayed into noisy and disruptive behaviour (from the mum, obviously, not the baby).

You've not read many MN threads then, Saorise.

Oh it’s far worse than boring op! I didn’t say I was disinterested, I actively dislike it. Clearer?

And I’ve read MANY threads. This is by far one of the most whiney and snivelling, while simultaneously being bitchy. Bravo.

MANY MN threads, that should read.

@user, I forgive you

If you actively dislike a thread why not just leave ! Don't get it.

I am probably not in the right frame of mind to discuss this, I know that, but I find this thread a really sad one to read.

I think its sad too. The vitriol towards patents on MN is . Okay she probably should have kept it down a bit. But so should a lot of people and the last offensive group in restaurants are drunk ADULTS. But they have a right to be don't they?

Babies laughing how can anyone cope 🙄

daffodil10

If you actively dislike a thread why not just leave ! Don't get it.

Exactly. Most normal people can empathise with the OP.

Yanbu

My grandmother used to get us to bang our cutlery on the table and chant ‘why are we waiting’ much to our parents’ horror.

But she’s an abhorrent old woman.

#completelyirrelevant

SaoirseTheSeahorse

You are weirdly invested in this thread. You must approve of those guilty of ghastly performance parenting.

The majority do not.

Exactly. Most normal people can empathise with the OP.

And the mum of the baby ......

Ah my old friend RWT dun, dun DUN !

Well, I won’t get into a debate with you lovely, but I will say there’s a phrase springing to mind to do with glass houses and bricks...

I prefer “performance parents” to bitter old grumps who fume about how loud and disruptive a baby is but don’t have the big girl pants to say anything about it “in case she’s rude to me sniff sniff”. Please.

I dislike the way the thread has gone daffodil. I was contributing quite near the beginning you will see if you scroll back. Why should I leave the thread? So you can all have a big moan, unchallenged, about these “ghastly performance parents, who annoy me so much when I want my cup of tea in piece boo hoo, but I can’t possible approach them as they might huwt my wittle feewings with their guaranteed rudeness”. It’s just so whingy.

Wasn’t it the op who said it’s a place for discussion so I’ll say what I like? Or whatever it was. It’s a two way street no?

Your anger is very odd Saoirse. The majority of posters understand exactly what the OP is talking about and agree with her. I also think the majority of us would be reluctant to say anything/make a scene but would just put up with it. That's perfectly normal.

I just don't understand your outburst.

Well, I think I’ve explained myself pretty clearly. If you don’t understand and it then meh. What I think has annoyed posters on here about my most recent posts / “outburst”, is that you all were enjoying a nice character assassination of this mother over pretty much nothing. You expected the carry on unchallenged and I disagreed with you. Sorry you don’t like that, but that’s life.

I think what has annoyed posters is your rude, aggressive style of posting Saoirse.

Tbh, my posting style is usually not quite as direct as I’ve been on here. But the thread definitely did seem to warrant it. Nasty and cowardly.

I was out for breakfast with friends a few days ago. A family with young children came in, and the kids were so loud. Crying, screaming, talking very loud. I was absolutely twitching, couldn’t hear myself think, couldn’t have a conversation with my friends due to the noise. I guess I’m harsh to believe that your kids should stay home until they can converse in human tones and sit in a chair and not run around.

I was out at a restaurant with my DC last night. They were quiet and disturbing no one. A load of students came in pre some kind of ball and took the place over, wandering between tables etc making noise. But y'know what they have a right to be on the planet also so I just got on with it while DH and I giggled about the restful ambiance. Because that's life isn't it? Why the particular ire towards children and parents? I really really don't get it.

Why the particular ire towards children and parents? I really really don't get it.

At a guess? Because parents and babies / young children are some of the most vulnerable people in society. Whether they realise it or not, some people tend to pick on the weak. Especially when they’re a bit weak and cowardly themselves.

Also though, I’m sure I read that human beans have a natural dislike of the sound of a crying baby. It makes sense that we don’t like the sound of a baby in distress as we’re programmed to want to stop the crying so we survive as a species... or something. So I completely understand why people need to remove their child when they’re screaming and distressed in public. For the sake of other people as well as the child. But the baby in this op was happy, so that’s not the reason with this thread. It’s because the mother was allegedly showing off (aka performance parenting). This makes some people very angry. Far more so than hearing an upset child.

Name change fail! That’s me^^. Have asked MN to amend. Full disclosure and all.

What is wrong with everyone? Is this site not called mumsnet? Presumably you all have children?

Why shouldn't she play with her baby in a restaurant? It's a baby ffs. They make lots of noise with or without encouragement.

The thing is that I just don't see all these dc running around restaurants out of control with parents purring about Tarquin being very spirited that people speak about on MN. Most DC I see eating out are really well behaved.

I'd have raised my eyebrows at the mum in the OP'S post I have no doubt. But people are irritating, it's the way of the world. This thread is completely out of proportion.

I think you're right it's because they are vulnerable and also can't defend themselves directly.

What is wrong with everyone? Is this site not called mumsnet? Presumably you all have children?

Yes, two - and I wouldn't have encouraged them to scream and annoy other people.

But primal People are different aren't they? Can't you just rise above it and get on with life ?

Yes, two - and I wouldn't have encouraged them to scream and annoy other people.

She wasn't aiming to annoy other people. She was playing with her baby. If you don't like it, you should leave.