Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mother encouraging her child to scream in restaurant

353 replies

user1485342611 · 19/08/2018 14:20

I was in a restaurant and a mother with a baby aged about 10-12 months and in a high chair were at a table near us. The baby was playing happily with a plastic toy when the mother suddenly dropped her spoon on the floor. He thought it was funny and gave a happy squeal. So the mum kept pretending to drop the spoon to make him laugh. The problem was that each time the laugh got more and more high pitched and in the end he was literally screaming with excitement every time she went to 'drop' the spoon.

This went on for ages and people were turning around and giving her annoyed looks and two women at the table beside them moved away.

AIBU to think she was being really inconsiderate and that this went beyond just a bit of happy playing and strayed into noisy and disruptive behaviour (from the mum, obviously, not the baby).

OP posts:
TigerlilyMoon · 20/08/2018 22:40

Lydiaatthebarre and user1485342611 - Nope no drama here, there is no hipocrisy either. Youve both mentioned a post I made, I confirmed said post. A laughy face at a silly situation. None of this is that big a deal I find it all over the top.
user1485342611 - I'm sorry that someone annoyed you and yes it sucks and no most of us don't do it but like my original post said, I either say something at the time or let it go. No more no less. That was my point and it's as true now as when I posted it originally, which seems like a week ago given this bizarre back and fore.

MistressoftheYoniverse · 20/08/2018 22:42

Sips Chamomile tea

TigerlilyMoon · 20/08/2018 22:43

I guess I just don't get as stressed as some people shrugs probably a good trait. I don't hold grudges and I can laugh at a situation and myself.

crispysausagerolls · 20/08/2018 22:51

Honestly, I don’t agree with TigerlilyMoon viewpoint on this thread, but her behaviour on the other thread was completely fine and I can’t believe it’s being used against her as if it wasn’t 😑

TigerlilyMoon · 20/08/2018 22:59

crispysausagerolls - I am happy for Mumsnet to supply screenshots of any of my convos on here Grin I am that confident I've never been "disgusting" to anyone in my life.

For what it's worth noisy inconsiderate people of course annoy me but my original point on here was sometimes when people have babies they are so knackered and delirious that they don't always act at their best. That was it. I suggested I'd either have a word or accept the noise for what it was. I don't think anyone of that was unfair?

browneyes77 · 20/08/2018 23:01

Adults talking loudly that like the sound of their own voice really annoy me. I had two awful shrieking women sitting near me today and the conversation got louder and louder until nobody within close proximity could enjoy their meals because all they could hear was them. I think common decency is lost on a lot of people and not all of them have kids.

100% agree with this!

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 20/08/2018 23:02

Well on that summing up, Tiger, no, it wasn’t.

TigerlilyMoon · 20/08/2018 23:06

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar - Glad you think so hound.

TigerlilyMoon · 20/08/2018 23:07

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar - It makes life alot easier when people read what people have written instead of letting others whip them up Wink

JustMeHere1 · 20/08/2018 23:08

Ok I will rephrase, I absolutely did not make my point at all there...

yanbu to be annoyed, I get annoyed by all sorts of people all the time and sometimes they are being arseholes and sometimes I am, that's just life.

You would have been unreasonable if you'd have said something to her or made her feel uncomfortable when she wasn't really doing anything wrong.

nearlythesummer · 20/08/2018 23:14

Oh dear l, OP. If a baby squealing/screaming/laughing or whatever at 10 months old bothered you that much, either say something or move. I love babies & that sort of interaction would have made my day.

user838383 · 20/08/2018 23:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CosyLulu · 21/08/2018 05:59

I had a squealer on the seat behind me on a packed train during a 2-hour journey. I got the distinct impression that the kid was knackered and would have slept if the mum hadn’t kept winding him up. A number of people got frustrated and asked her to stop but she just laughed and carried on. My nerves felt ragged by the end of the journey.

Sleepyblueocean · 21/08/2018 06:08

If you are dealing with the distress caused to your own child by inconsiderate behaviour like this. you cannot just go and say something.

Teacher22 · 21/08/2018 06:59

Children need to be taught to behave well in public places. Of course, you can’t do this with a baby but there is no need to encourage the infant to scream.

actualpuffins · 21/08/2018 07:03

It wouldn't bother me in the slightest. I might say to whoever was with me "Ooh, that's a bit piercing!" Certainly not to post on MN about it.

actualpuffins · 21/08/2018 07:07

YANBU OP. I suffer with migraines and this would literally cause my head to explode.

Do you usually go out to restaurants with a migraine?

Stuckinthis · 21/08/2018 07:24

I suffer with migraines and this would literally cause my head to explode.

literally.

🤯🤯🤯

GreenMeerkat · 21/08/2018 08:04

YANBU.

However, I bet she'd bloody love to know a whole thread had been made about her little performance.

browneyes77 · 21/08/2018 08:32

Do you usually go out to restaurants with a migraine?

Well common sense would tell you that this level of noise would cause a migraine and make my head explode.

ImAIdoot · 21/08/2018 08:33

Who will save us from the scourge of babies being happy.

MaisyPops · 21/08/2018 08:44

PasstheStarmix
I agree.
See also:
Loud phone calls in cafes
People thinking the whole world should hear their conversation

Even when kids are being loud and disruptive in a public place, I don't have an issue with the child. I have an issue with the adult who should be showing them how to behave in public, modelling appropriate noise levels etc.

Some adults are simply rude and inconsiderate. They in turn teach children that it's ok to be inconsiderate.

Who will save us from the scourge of babies being happy.
More missing the point. Hmm
Nobody has an issue with a happy baby.
Nobody expects a silent baby.
People are saying an adult playing a game with a baby that makes the baby squeal and shriek repeatedly is the adult being inconsiderate. It is the adult who is choosing to instigate the game. It is the adult who continues to encourage their child to shriek.
See the difference.
Happy baby gurgling or giggle- no issue.
Adult repeatedly encouraging a baby to shriek in a public place - the adult is being inconsiderate

PasstheStarmix · 21/08/2018 08:49

Exactly MaisyPops it’s the adults at fault with or without children. The loud phone calls are certainly overbearing especially the classic ‘i’m on the bus...’ and there’s no escape!!

MaisyPops · 21/08/2018 08:54

PasstheStarmix
And that's what annoys me about replies like 'so nobody with a child should leave the house?', 'at least they arent on their phone. Some children get ignored because their mum is too busy on instagram', 'Some of you are so miserable that you have an issue with a happy baby'. Hmm
They all spectacularly (deliberately) miss the point which is a normal polite adult interacting reasonably with their child and baby making happy noises wouldn't bother anyone.
The issue is it's a loud game in a restaurant and the adult is actively encouraging their child to shriek and squeal. And yet that difference seems to escape people.

SaoirseTheSeahorse · 21/08/2018 08:59

And that's what annoys me about replies like 'so nobody with a child should leave the house?', 'at least they arent on their phone. Some children get ignored because their mum is too busy on instagram', 'Some of you are so miserable that you have an issue with a happy baby'. hmm
They all spectacularly (deliberately) miss the point which is a normal polite adult interacting reasonably with their child and baby making happy noises wouldn't bother anyone.
The issue is it's a loud game in a restaurant and the adult is actively encouraging their child to shriek and squeal. And yet that difference seems to escape people.

This is why I said at the beginning that these threads are always hard work. It’s impossible to say if you aren’t there or haven’t seen this sort of thing before. You’d need a video to ‘prove’ just how annoying it was and obviously doing that would be totally unethical. As it is, people are having to picture the scene and they’ll all be picturing different things 🤷‍♀️.