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Original poster

To think Chandler and Monica have their priorities wrong in Friends?

141 replies

Potterfriends · 19/08/2018 12:09

I love them together, but they blow every penny of Chandler’s savings on the wedding, and a few episodes later Chandler isn’t being paid and they have to borrow thousands from Joey. It’s unreasonably annoyed me. Why would you spend your entire safety net on one day?! I know I'm over invested.

OP posts:
5000KallaxHoles · 19/08/2018 15:10

I actually never liked Friends when it first came out and everyone was raving about it (I did have the Rachel haircut though) but I'm watching them gradually at the moment and enjoying them as a product of the era.

Always did love Phoebe though - have a soft spot as my poor Nanna never quite got her head around the name she'd loathed having her entire life suddenly became massively massively popular and trendy!

ladycarlotta · 19/08/2018 15:10

Brooklyn 99 also has a gay character, I think this is meant to be funny as he’s not a ‘typical’ gay person.

Captain Holt? He's funny because he's not a 'typical' person. He's comically reserved and serious. He's a pretty modern writing of a gay character in that his sexuality is pretty much incidental, and absolutely no comedy is derived from the bare fact that he has a husband. I think an ex of his was in one episode, and again the humour was derived from the fact this was a comic character, not a gay one.

The only really relevant thing about Captain Holt's being gay is that it held him back from advancing in the police force for 20 years. His overcoming systemic racism and homophobia to be a good captain is really important to his character. I really like Brooklyn 99 but thinking of other modern sitcoms like Community too, there seems to be a new thing where characters are allowed to just happen to be part of a minority, and their experience/perspective can contribute to the humour, but it's not ever about othering them or using as the butt of jokes.

That's the difference, to me. I think the enlightened-ish shows from the 90s like Friends or SATC were very much part of a straight white wealthy status quo, trying to be inclusive but not really having it sorted yet.

steff13 · 19/08/2018 15:16

Brooklyn 99 also has a gay character, I think this is meant to be funny as he’s not a ‘typical’ gay person.

I don't think Captain Holt being gay has anything to do with why he's funny. If the charter was straight he'd be equally funny.

steff13 · 19/08/2018 15:17

Cross post with ladycarlotta, who said it a lot better than I did.

FrayedHem · 19/08/2018 15:44

Ross did walk Carol down the aisle and give her a pep talk when she was having wobbles over getting married to Susan.

In my alternative Friends and their relationships, Rachel would have ended up with Barry after an affair with Mark.

the1whereIwatched2muchfriends · 19/08/2018 16:09

I do think Ross was treated quite badly by Carol. She had already started her affair with Susan whilst still with Ross hadn't she, because Ross talked about the threesome they had

The threesome was in a fantasy episode, ‘The One That Could Have Been’. Non-canonical, as they say. I can't really imagine Ross in a threesome, though with his superb physical comedy abilities, he'd be great.

Hangingaroundtheportal · 19/08/2018 16:16

The threesome was in a fantasy episode, ‘The One That Could Have Been’. Non-canonical, as they say. I can't really imagine Ross in a threesome, though with his superb physical comedy abilities, he'd be great.

Oh was it?! 😂. I have to say I was thinking that I couldn't imagine Ross having a threesome, it must have been in my subconscious that it was a fantasy episode!

HildaZelda · 19/08/2018 16:24

I absolutely hated Phoebe. I never thought she was 'kooky' or 'flakey'. I just thought she was a bitch.

AnoukSpirit · 19/08/2018 17:18

It's easy to shrug off homophobia if you're straight and therefore wholly unaffected by the consequences of low level homophobia being normalised in a hugely popular TV show.

ladycarlotta · 19/08/2018 17:43

@AnoukSpirit I wholeheartedly agree.

CrystalMazing · 19/08/2018 17:47

Monica was a real dick about it. I'm re-watching it as my daughter is just discovering it (she's 12) and I really can't stand most of what the show stands for now. Keep having to explain that so many things in it are dated and not how reasonable people behave.

Nearlyadad · 19/08/2018 18:02

I loved the Homo sapiens extinct gag. Also

Joey, what would you do if you were omnipotent?

I’d kill myself. If little Joey’s dead, I ain’t got a reason to live no more

No Joey, OMnipotent.

You are Ross? Jeez, I’m sorry

LaurieMarlow · 19/08/2018 18:17

What strikes me the most on a rewatch is the casual misogyny and normalisation of porn.

They presented Joey as such a likeable guy, yet the way he treated women was appalling. And Ross was an absolute dick to Rachel in season 3.

I'd like Rachel to have ended up with Mark. He was hot. And much as I liked the Phoebe/Mike pairing, I liked Phoebe/David more. The episode where she had to chose between them was so upsetting.

BalloonSlayer · 19/08/2018 18:18

I think a lot of jokes are based on sexual insecurity/ desperation for sex/ fear of being seen to be bad at sex.

It is seen as funny that Ross married a lesbian because it can be implied that either a) he was so crap at sex he turned his wife off men altogether or b) he was so inexperienced and/or selfish he didn't notice (or care) that his wife wasn't into sex with him.

Ross and Chandler are so insecure and desperate to attract women, any women, that any suggestion that they might be gay panics them - because women won't be interested in them if they think they're gay. The episode where a colleague of chandler's tries to set him up with a man is a case in point - he wants to be set up with women! How many women has he missed out on by people presuming he's gay, he wonders? It's hard enough for Chandler to get girls in the first place and now it turns out that they all think he's not interested in them in the first place.

I don't think those jokes are particularly homophobic, although I know a lot of others are.

katielouise3 · 19/08/2018 21:08

@browneyes77

I’ve never understood all this dissecting of it 20 years later to see which bits seemed homophonic or sexist whatever. It’s a show from the 90’s and nobody took any issue with these things back then. Maybe because nobody got offended at every little thing back then, in the way they do now.

This ^ in a nutshell. There was a lot less snowflakery around then.

Nowadays, people search far and wide for something to be offended by. If there IS nothing, they will invent something.

Many posters are discussing the subject in a decent manner, but there is way too much 'faux outrage,' and (getting sniffy about nothing,) from a few posters on here. Smile

It's best ignored. Don't rise to it. Smile

@OysterBabe

Monica and Richard
Chandler and Kathy
Ross and Charlie
Rachel and Gavin (I know nothing much happened there, I just think he's hot.)
Phoebe and David
Joey and no one.

I actually hated Charlie, and thought she was an insufferable snob, and also very boring. Ditto for Emily. Awful character. And even though I think Helen Baxendale is not a bad actress, I thought she was rather wooden in Friends.

If anything, I would have liked to see Ross with Mona. And Rachel with Joey was a bit weird, but I felt like he really loved her.

Still glad Ross and Rachel made it together in the end. Smile

As for Chandler and Kathy, yeah maybe, but prefer him and Monica.

Defo enjoyed Monica and Richard together, but felt he was too old. 25 years older or something? Nahhhh. Her and Chandler were better in the end.

MeyMary · 19/08/2018 21:13

It's hard enough for Chandler to get girls in the first place and now it turns out that they all think he's not interested in them in the first place.

Btw, why? I've only watched the first three (?) seasons but Chandler isn't bad looking and seems quite likeable... (His biggest flaw probably being "I'll call you" when he knows be won't...)

LaurieMarlow · 19/08/2018 21:21

In the early series' at least I found Chandler the most attractive. But surely if he was going to end up with anyone other than Monica, it should have been Janice. So much history Grin

Interesting to see both Kathy and Mona mentioned. I thought both of them were underused and would have liked them to have had a more substantial role.

I also hated Emily as a character.

butterflyrabbit · 19/08/2018 21:40

It's so odd that despite people explaining how identifying with a group that was, in probably tens of episodes, the butt of jokes - something introduced purely to be laughed at - made them feel inadequate... yet some snowflakes are so offended by this notion that they post repeatedly to insist that their experiences aren't true and people aren't really noticing anything!

Whoever mentioned Big Bang Theory, I agree that's just as awful.

browneyes77 · 19/08/2018 21:47

I also hated Emily as a character! Grin Just could never warm to her at all. Just didn’t suit being with Ross.

Phoebe could be funny at times but I just though she could be such a cow most of the time!

browneyes77 · 19/08/2018 21:49

Btw, why? I've only watched the first three (?) seasons but Chandler isn't bad looking and seems quite likeable... (His biggest flaw probably being "I'll call you" when he knows be won't...)

I think his constant sarcasm and lack of confidence around women was what was inferred put most of them off.

Me I love sarcasm! I’d have totally dated him Grin

mayaknew · 19/08/2018 21:53

I hated Mona 🙈 and definitely hated Emily.

I think everyone ended up with the right people in the end.

I would have liked something more significant happy to Phoebe though. Her story wasn't really wrapped up. Apart from her marriage to mine her life didn't really change.

mayaknew · 19/08/2018 21:53

Mike

IamReginaFalange · 19/08/2018 21:54

Janice was a great character.

mayaknew · 19/08/2018 21:55

I think Emily was supposed to be in it a lot more but had to be cut short due to Helen Baxendales pregnancy.

youarenotkiddingme · 19/08/2018 21:58

I love it though when Ross says

"Take thee Rachel" in such a deadpan voice.

Rachel "he said Rachel, should I go up there?" 😂😂

I liked how Rach went from the spoilt princess to someone who held down a job and how they taught her so many normal life skills along the way.
Then moment like this just totally reminded me how ditsy she actually could be!