DH is being dim, isn't he? Financial

[escapetothecuntree]

So we usually do our regular online shop at Sainsbury's, because this is one of the very few supermarkets that shock what DH likes for his dinners (very restrictive dietary needs).

Anyway, I've just noticed Morrison's sale the same thing for cheaper, it's on offer. Only about 30p difference, but we by several of these so it all adds up. Plus, their basics are cheaper.

DH is putting his foot down and saying no, he doesn't want to try Morrison's.

I've asked why and he says there's no point. I said we could save £5/10. He said I don't really care about saving a few quid

Yeah, like we have money to just burn

So I asked again, and he said it's just too much faff to change.
I said but I've signed up instantly. He says no, I'm comfortable with Sainsbury's so leave it at that.

AIBU to think he's being bloody dim? Why wouldn't you save just a few quid? Why spend more money, even small amounts, when you don't have to?

He's adamant it's too much hassle. And says he isn't interested in saving a few quid. It's not worth it.

For context, either myself or him order the online shop. I was going to do it so it's not like he had to go out of his way to sign up or anything. I'd already done it.

In annoyance, he's agreed to add it all up and see if there's any difference at all. Sod's law it'll cost the same overall or be more expensive.

Not really sure why I'm writing this, perhaps I just need a rant

He will most likely see the thread and get the hump. Hopefully it doesn't turn out that I'm U!

cate he swore at me once before, about a year ago, because I really was being a moody mare

But he's never sworn at me or called me a bitch before.

I however have done my fair share and use to rage at him for leaving washing next to the basket when I was pregnant, probably even did my share fair of casual cunting at times

Me too. Sorry, OP, you're living with a controlling lunatic.

Ok so my Dp has loads of food issues. Mainly because he is allergic to few things. But growing up his step mother didn't believe it and used to sneak these foods in to prove a point. One of his allergies results in anaphylactic shock. When he had an attack she would claim he just knew she had put the ingredient and was faking it. I knew dps step mother before I knew him and she has told me herself she did this and still doesn't believe he has these allergies. As a result he hates eating what other people cook, only has a few meals he knows can't hide foods. I knew him 8 month before he trusted me to cook.

He would never demand I didn't have certain things in. Or not eat certain things.

I have to ask though, did you know he was such a strict vegetarian? Why did you agree to these things?

Where you shop, isn't an issue. He is being awful. That's the issue.

I agree with Paddley. This has taken a bit of a sinister turn really.

But anyway, just so I don't derail, I've never had him call me a name before.

Quite shocked. This has got incredibly heated. But I'm fed up of going hungry because there's nothing really in and it's all for him and his work lunch or dinners of the exact identical thing each night

Fed up. Breastfeeding takes a lot of calories up, DC is 9 months now but he feeds a lot and I'm hungry

You're brest feeding and money is tight and he's throwing out ham !!!

He's a controlling selfish prick.

I wouldn't be putting up with that crap.

Now reduce his share of the good budget to an overly generous 50%, order what you want with the other half, meat and all, and leave him to order his own food when he comes home.

From now on every time he tries to tell you what you can eat while breastfeeding or tries to prioritize his wishes above the baby's nourishment, point out the fact he's being a bit silly and ask him to think about the concept of sensible compromise.

If it is broached again, tell him the idea of breaking up your home because of what he wants you to eat is unconscionably short-sighted, destructive and self-centred and he should think about whether compromise is really all that impossible.

OP, if he said he was going away with work for a month, how would you feel?

Sorry for all the posts. This just made me angry. Who does this? 🙁

Can you go and stay with family?

Please, please, please DO NOT STAY STARVING HUNGRY FOR ONE MORE DAY.

Im it's a very deep rooted issue with him, I think. Animal cruelty being the biggest factor egging him on.

Hollow Right now, fucking relieved. My own meal plans and budgeting to eat for a whole month? Glorious

Agree. Give him £20 - that's his food money he can eat what he likes. Meanwhile the other £20 is for you who is feeding a baby.

When you say you're going hungry OP can you give us a rough idea of how much you eat in a week? Have you lost weight due to this behaviour?

I would suggest speaking with your health visitor this week. Tell her what you've told us.

If you bank with the Halifax OP you will save even more because they have regular cash back offers on with Morrison's. I went there today to specifically get 10% back.

The thing is, I sometimes feel so ravenous but I am not doing myself many favours because there are things like vegetable soup he bought me recently. I just don't like it refuse to eat it

Is it at all possible for you to sit down with him and tell him that you need to eat a better diet because your child needs it?
If you are breast feeding you should not be going hungry well you shouldn't be going hungry even if you weren't.
Doesn't he care about the child at all and for that matter you?

Animal cruelty is more important than being cruel to you ? Fuck. That.

I understand the animal cruelty issue and why that is a problem to him having meat in the house. I take it he's also vegan then too? But that doesn't excuse his behaviour towards you.

Does he control anything else? Are you scared of him at all?

You married a controlling arse but I guess you know that.

Tell him to stay at his mum's.

Is his mum the same or would she be supportive of you?

If there's food in the house you can eat OP you need to eat it for the sake of the baby.

He sounds like an utter wanker.

You need protein.

He doesn't seem to have a problem being cruel to you and his baby though.

It isn't ok for you to be kept hungry while breastfeeding, and while your partner reserves so much of the food budget for himself. You do get that, don't you? He can be a vegetarian while not underfeeding the person who breastfeeds his child. Those things are not mutually exclusive.

Blueberries? Bloody hell! When I was skint, as a vegetarien student, I mostly ate cheese & onion toasties, sometimes with a tomato. Lentil bolognese, lentil curry (onion, celery, red lentils, veggie stock paste, relevant herb or spice mix, tinned tomatoes, water). With rice or pasta. Apples, bananas or pears for snacks. Fat, protein, fibre, & something fresh/sweet, & it was cheap. TBH I didn't meal plan because I ate the same almost every day, even though I'm a total foodie!

You don't buy blueberries if you're skint. I don't think it's about the meat, I suspect it's about control.