DH is being dim, isn't he? Financial

[escapetothecuntree]

So we usually do our regular online shop at Sainsbury's, because this is one of the very few supermarkets that shock what DH likes for his dinners (very restrictive dietary needs).

Anyway, I've just noticed Morrison's sale the same thing for cheaper, it's on offer. Only about 30p difference, but we by several of these so it all adds up. Plus, their basics are cheaper.

DH is putting his foot down and saying no, he doesn't want to try Morrison's.

I've asked why and he says there's no point. I said we could save £5/10. He said I don't really care about saving a few quid

Yeah, like we have money to just burn

So I asked again, and he said it's just too much faff to change.
I said but I've signed up instantly. He says no, I'm comfortable with Sainsbury's so leave it at that.

AIBU to think he's being bloody dim? Why wouldn't you save just a few quid? Why spend more money, even small amounts, when you don't have to?

He's adamant it's too much hassle. And says he isn't interested in saving a few quid. It's not worth it.

For context, either myself or him order the online shop. I was going to do it so it's not like he had to go out of his way to sign up or anything. I'd already done it.

In annoyance, he's agreed to add it all up and see if there's any difference at all. Sod's law it'll cost the same overall or be more expensive.

Not really sure why I'm writing this, perhaps I just need a rant

He will most likely see the thread and get the hump. Hopefully it doesn't turn out that I'm U!

Most online supermarkets have Welcome offers and other offers every now & then.

Rotating around could save you big time. You could probably look to save 10% at least once a month.

And don't forget to look at Waitrose and Ocado. The Waitrose essentials range is competitively priced and you save on delivery as well as any introductory offers.

Never understood why people are wierd about Supermarket I hierarchies.

Where are you OP? You and your baby are more than welcome to come for food at mine right now. .

This makes me sad too. I am still BFing my 10 month old and need more food than usual. I've also had random aversions to stuff and my baby has CMPA and soya allergy. I do the food shops and the cooking so have relative control over what I buy - however this isn't then used as an excuse to restrict what my DH eats! It's crazy.

I hope you're ok. Yes there is technically food in the house but you're an adult. You should have the freedom to go and make/buy/eat whatever you want. And tbh your DH should be enabling this seeing as you've grown and then kept a baby alive with your body.

I can understand no meat in the house if he is a strong animal rights advocate. Does that mean he also doesn't wear leather or use any products that are tested on animals (medicine aside)? But surely there are other lovely things you can have for lunch other than veg soup?! The budget needs to accommodate both of you. Half and half. Then later a bit more for your baby when they are eating a bit more.

It’s a shame he’s not so strong on women’s rights as he is on animals.

Op - you don't HAVE to eat food that you don't like!!

About time you started to be a bit more difficult, rather than tiptoeing around him all the time.

Have you had something to eat now? Can you go out and get something?

Thank you for the support and replies

I'm currently eating something with meat in, much to my H's greatest annoyance. It is very enjoyable

We've decided to split the food bill on the online shop, so he buys what he needs and then I do mine. It's worked out about £10 but I have breakfasts, lunches and dinners worked out.

Still working on having meat in the weekly shop thing, but I'm hoping he will stop this ridiculousness.

I actually feel incredibly miserable talking about food around him.

Even when I was veggie, he would huff and puff if anything remotely meat product related appeared on telly. It is incredibly unnerving.

Is that £10 each or still him £30 and you £10?

This had better not be this jackass eating Linda McCartney for £30 while you get a tenner so he can have nice abs.

It's about £30 each really

I spent £23 and he spent £27 today on our halves

Good!

He sounds incredibly controlling and selfish. I'm a vegetarian and very, very fussy but that's my issue. I wouldn't dream of inflicting that on my DH. We share cooking and I'll happily make meals which include meat - I just have an adapted version for myself. Apparently I make the best meat lasagna he's ever had - I don't mind making it for him every so often cos I know he loves it.

Nobody should control what you can and can't eat - or even have in your own house. Bang out of order.

Is the vegetable soup canned? Because that isn't very nice, I agree. But canned tomato soup is OK, but home made soup with lots of veg and pulses is much nicer, cheap and nutritious.

If you bought some fresh carrots some could go in DHs sad lentil concoction and some could go in a lentil soup. It's a shame you're off dairy, because broccoli and blue cheese soup is really nice.

So he is allowing you £1.40 a day for food, while you are breastfeeding. Will 'your' portion of money for food decrease as your child eat more. Be careful your food doesn't mysteriously disappear from the fridge.

While I'm pleased he is'allowing' you to buy food that you enjoy, YOU really need to continue this fight to get the right to buy and eat food you want and enjoy whether he likes it or not.

Sorry cross posted with you.

Your Dh is a cunt. A miserable, controlling cunt. I couldn't live like that.

sainsburys pretty poor, especially with soft fruits like strawberries which they have delivered gooey with mould on, amongst other things

I can second this - Sainsbury's fresh produce is anything but!

I used to call them out on it every single time (ie ring up and complain), but nothing changed, and I am pretty sure I In the end I stopped getting fresh food except when I was unwell and couldn't leave the house. But it's a bind.

We've decided to split the food bill on the online shop, so he buys what he needs and then I do mine.

A reasonable compromise but actually massively inefficient both food and money-wise on a limited budget.

I'm afraid I couldn't live with someone who told me I couldn't have meat in the house. (Not even remotely joking. I need my meat.)

Even if you once thought you could live with that arrangement, people change, and you're allowed to decide that a meat-free diet isn't working for you.

It's none of his damned business what you eat, and I'd be informing him of that fact in no uncertain manner.

Oh OP, I’m another one who’s horrified by how this has progressed and the situation you and your baby are in. I’m also so sorry for your loss

Fuck him. Concentrate on yourself and your baby, you need nutrients for feeding, good quality food for weaning and whatever the helk you fancy if it helps you feel any better.

Carry on as you’ve started. His issues don’t have to be yours to worry about, please please stick up for yourself.

How does it feel to have a bunch of strangers telling you how they see it?

Thanks again all

I'm quite frankly sick of the whole negative and boring attitude of him, not even recently, but in the last 12 months or so. Yawn.

I've never known a bloke like it. I'm obviously going to sound incredibly sexist here, but what happened to all the men happy to be cooked for and wanting lots of grub available for them? I don't know any other men that have been in life they've ever been similar. They've all just eaten whatever, and funnily enough, none were fat. They just had a good meal after work etc.

Disclaimer, I've not dated 1000 men

I find his constant insistence to point out his disdain with everything, even advertisements with meat, incredibly draining.

Not really sure where I'm going from here. I don't like how he is at the moment.

I'm wary that I'm still suffering from my miscarriage 3 days ago, physically if not mentally. Apologies for sounding graphic but there was a tiny baby. I still feel a bit haunted at the moment and unsettled. Although I'm so proud of myself for being in such a good place and actually feeling okay.

Sorry to waffle on. This was originally a thread about supermarkets

Anne it's difficult. It's amazing to see I'm not a bit unhinged after all, and he's the odd ball. But at the same time, it's difficult to face facts that your marriage isn't what you thought it was, not really

He is always on here and knows about the thread, which has made him a bit more sour. He loves to read MN so I can't post a thread without being identified by him, unless it slips under the radar

I think families where partners have different eating habits can work - for example one vegetarian and one non-vegetarian. But they only work when there is good communication, sharing and mutual respect. I'd be worried about how two adults who behave so differently around food will be able to bring up a child/children and help them to enjoy family meals.

@escapetothecuntree but the supermarket was the final straw wasn't it? Do you have any friends or family you can go stay with for a few days? You need looking after.

Also is he grieving the miscarriage? Not making excuses but you said he'd never sworn at you before.

Whose half will your son's weaning foods come from? If he's 8 months old and still only having bits, that's going to accelerate very quickly and very soon.

Sorry about your miscarriage. Also I wonder if that might be why you're particularly craving meat right now? Because you've presumably lost quite a bit of blood and want iron rich food to replace it. And before that, you were pregnant so again needing iron.

If you are eating as poorly as this thread suggests, and breastfeeding I'm amazed you even got pregnant. I would have thought it would also be a contributing factor in miscarrying.
Please do something about this abuse!!