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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I've just shouted at my son for hiding and jumping out at me

148 replies

mydogmymate · 17/08/2018 20:46

My ds (11) has taken to hiding then jumping out on me. He sits on the stairs and I know he's there but he doesn't answer me. Then, when I least expect it, he jumps out at me or suddenly appears at the door.

I know he's only 11, but the first time he did it I explained that I don't like it and he seemed to get it. Now today, he's done it about 5 times and my nerves are in shreds. Each time he insists he's only joking, but it's just not funny. He did it again about 10 minutes ago and I shouted at him, now he's in his room sulking and said I'm no fun.

Have I overreacted?

OP posts:
QueenDoris · 17/08/2018 20:48

Next time he does it knee him in the face. That should put a stop to it

Clairetree1 · 17/08/2018 20:48

no, you have under reacted.

he is above the age of criminal responsibility and that behaviour would be considered assault, if a complaint was made

Aprilshowersinaugust · 17/08/2018 20:48

Hide his games console...
An hour for every time he has scared you should do it ..

Original poster
mydogmymate · 17/08/2018 20:48

That's brilliant!

OP posts:
OneInAMillionYou · 17/08/2018 20:49

Absolutely not.

You've asked him to stop doing it and he deserved you shouting at him. You have a right to relax in your own home without being given random shocks.
Hopefully he'll catch on now, good luck!

Clairetree1 · 17/08/2018 20:49

and yes, you could legally knee him in the face, that would be considered self defence, as in the spur of the moment you would react automatically without having time to stop and assess the risk

Original poster
mydogmymate · 17/08/2018 20:50

Thank you, I feel better now. It's like practical jokes, I just don't find it funny.

OP posts:
Clairetree1 · 17/08/2018 20:50

anyway, never mind whether it is legal or not, it is very very nasty, abusive, bullying behaviour

Piffpaffpoff · 17/08/2018 20:51

I think not. I think it’s an important lesson they need to learn - that if you do something to someone and they say “I don’t like that, please don’t do it again” you should respect that. Continuing to do it, repeatedly, could be considered as bullying or worse in many circumstances.

user1486076969 · 17/08/2018 20:52

YANBU - he's old enough to understand that it's unacceptable.

Lollypop701 · 17/08/2018 20:53

You’ve told him no and he understands. Why do you think yabu? This is all (I have 12/14 yo and if they continued with ‘discussed’ behaviour it would have consequences, and sulking would be the least of their worrres!)

Original poster
mydogmymate · 17/08/2018 20:55

Thank you all.
It does feel like bullying and abusive, it makes me nervous. He seemed to get it but then did it again. Confiscate his xbox is the way to go.

OP posts:
Jozen · 17/08/2018 20:55

You explained you don't like it after the first time, at 11 he should understand that. So no, you have not overreacted at all after 5 bloody times.

CleverQuacks · 17/08/2018 20:55

Do you have my son??? He is 11 to and does this all the time. It drives me mad cos i am a jumpy person and I just can’t relax with him jumping out at me all the time. I think you were right to tell him off.

Singlenotsingle · 17/08/2018 20:56

Get a hooter (one of those loud horns) and if he jumps out at you again, let him have it full blast.

Pebblespony · 17/08/2018 20:58

Feed him multiple cups of tea, wait outside his door all night and do it to him when he gets up in the middle of the night for a pee. That'll teach him.

WhatAnAbsolutePenis · 17/08/2018 20:58

He's not "only 11".

He's 11 years old and telling him once that jumping out on you should be enough.

Both my kids (currently 11 and 7) have tried this on me for a laugh at one point or another. My angry reaction showed them that they will never repeat the 'laugh' again.

I hate being made jump, especially deliberately.

Original poster
mydogmymate · 17/08/2018 20:58

Thanks again.

I'm a single parent with him and just needed someone else to tell me I didn't overreact

OP posts:
confusedandconfuddled · 17/08/2018 20:58

I would be extremely cross at my 4 year old if they did that after repeated requests not to!

JamieVardysHavingAParty · 17/08/2018 21:00

and yes, you could legally knee him in the face, that would be considered self defence, as in the spur of the moment you would react automatically without having time to stop and assess the risk

Don't be ridiculous.

IWantMyHatBack · 17/08/2018 21:04

I'd get him back Grin

TeaByTheSeaside · 17/08/2018 21:06

OP go upstairs now and speak to your DS. Tell him again now that you're both calm, how horrible it makes you feel. That you don't want him to do it again.

Say you're sure he won't because he now understands how it makes you feel. But if he does do it again, you will remove the x box (or phone or whatever would work for him)

He's then had ample warning.

And if he does do it again, make sure you follow through with the threat.

Original poster
mydogmymate · 17/08/2018 21:11

Thankyou tea. I've just gone and spoken to him and all I got was "you're no fun" again. So his phone has been taken off him until he apologises and stops the behaviour

OP posts:
ErictheGuineaPig · 17/08/2018 21:13

YANBU. It's only a joke if everyone is laughing - that's what I tell my kids. If you don't find it funny he needs to stop.

Original poster
mydogmymate · 17/08/2018 21:16

I think he's got the message now. Going without his phone will be hard for him - serves him right!

OP posts:
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