I've just shouted at my son for hiding and jumping out at me

[mydogmymate]

My ds (11) has taken to hiding then jumping out on me. He sits on the stairs and I know he's there but he doesn't answer me. Then, when I least expect it, he jumps out at me or suddenly appears at the door.

I know he's only 11, but the first time he did it I explained that I don't like it and he seemed to get it. Now today, he's done it about 5 times and my nerves are in shreds. Each time he insists he's only joking, but it's just not funny. He did it again about 10 minutes ago and I shouted at him, now he's in his room sulking and said I'm no fun.

Have I overreacted?

I'm with ManyCrisps on this.

I can't believe you shouted at him never mind punished him.

He obviously finds it funny so go with it and have a laugh with him and maybe do the same back

I would do the same back. Stand outside the bathroom door the next time he goes in there and roar like a demented banshee when he comes out.

When you’re 11, with your mum, is a great time to learn that if something isn’t fun for all concerned, it’s not fun, so stop. Better than at 14 with another kid at school, or 18 with a girl you met in a club. I hope he actually gets that lesson now, rather than just stops because of the phone.

Suddenly glad to have a dc who feels the same way about jump scares as I do, not a problem I’m going to have to deal with!

MeyMary Actually saw your post after mine, it was clairetree's post I saw.

ChunkyNotSoKitKat Disagree she needs to go along with it as she doesn't find it at all pleasant, a prank needs to be funny for all involved.

I'm happy with DP trying to scare me as long as I know he's in the house, but under no circumstance to do it if he just got in from work or similar.

Being a theatrical type, I would either a) jump out at him and scare him- in the dark, probably, or b) If he did it again, clutch at my heart and fall to the ground.
It's not funny, and you've asked him to stop.
YANBU

At eleven he's a bit old for those sort of pranks. Tell him he's behaving like a seven year old.

@CheshireChat

Oh well, in this case

I agree, btw. The suggestion of participating in something the OP finds scary / uncomfortable is imo rather unreasonable tbh.

This is a serious suggestion. Think of a weakness he has: he's bound to have them, as his mum you'll know what they are. "Suppose you were afraid of balloons popping, and I kept on and on doing it behind your back to make you jump, even after you'd asked me to stop, how would you feel?" That might get through to him.

It's an important life lesson, knowing when to stop practical jokes and teasing, so use this to educate him, and the consequences of him doing it after you've had the talk should be severe, even if he does it again a few days later if he thinks you're no longer angry.

Ask him if he saw it on instagram. Seems to be a common prank to play on social media.

On a lighter note, am well jel of MarthaArthur for having a housemage.

Sometimes the lords of autocorrect giveth.

jamie i wouldnt be jealous. The mage blocks bathroom access and theres potion everywhere

He's lucky you haven't thumped him on instinct. I would have. I kicked my friend in the balls once because he grabbed me from behind as a joke. Elbowed him in the gut then turned and booted him in the crotch before I realised it was him. He didn't try it twice.

I'm sure he didn't mean any harm but he does have to learn that you can still do damage without meaning any harm.

And of course there's the increased household wear and tear from sorcerors' apprentices and their mishaps; that kind of water damage plays merry hell with reclaiming your deposit.

My children creep up behind me and then jump on my back, which really makes me shout. I've explained I could be holding a cup of coffee or something hot, or a knife when cutting food, or something heavy, etc.
Unfortunately, when they realise you don't like something, it can make them do it more.

He needs to take it seriously - explain the safety aspect.

If kids are told not to do something, and you have a good reason, they need to do as they've been asked in my view. It's your job as a parent to teach them that there are rules that need to be followed - just as adults have to follow rules / societal norms.

Think of it as him learning a life skill. It happened to DD at school when she was 12 with an older student. He got an elbow to the nose, reflex fear action on her part. I got involved as they wanted to suspend her.
He thinks it’s funny and isn’t taking no for an answer, so you are not over reacting by taking his tech. He needs to know when he’s crossing a boundary. Repeatedly.

YANBU OP my DH, in his 60’s now, is still afraid of the dark after his fuckwit father jumped out on him during a power cut.

My son started this age 10/11.... used to make me scream, then he would smirk and then hug me after when I said how much he scared me. I would try to get him back but fail miserably. He’s a kid, that’s what they do.

3/4years on he is harder to hide as he’s so huge but he still tries it now, despite being impossible to hide, and I make out I don’t see him until last minute, it’s a game. He thinks it’s fun to scare me, I scare easily. It was probably hysterical to him when he was younger to have me scream in fright.At his age we have so few games left that we get to play together, he barely interacts with us parents at all at this age. I will miss it when he finally stops.

I still try to get him back, I still fail miserably.

So I’m with @ManyCrisps & @ChunkyNotSoKitKat

he is above the age of criminal responsibility and that behaviour would be considered assault, if a complaint was made

Jesus.

And yes, OP do go on and knee your 11 year old in the face because he's being an irritant.

This talk of abuse and assault is fucking ridiculous, please get a grip some of you.

he is above the age of criminal responsibility and that behaviour would be considered assault, if a complaint was made

Literally my most favourite overreaction response ever.

My 11 year old makes me jump.
Call the police!

It's not "bullying" or "assault" when an 11 year old is doing it to his mum. The issue is he's been told not to do it and he's carried on anyway, which is naughty. Taking phone a good plan OP - YWNBU to shout at him xx

This talk of abuse and assault is fucking ridiculous, please get a grip some of you

it isn't an opinion , it is a fact, this is a criminal assault. Sorry if you like doing this sort of thing, maybe it is news to you that you could be arrested and charged? grow up. its not acceptable, it is very nasty, and it is illegal to treat people like that for a reason

He’s being a prat, I agree that all the talk of hurting him is OTT.
But he needs to know that it’s time to stop, and his mum is serious about it.

@Clairetree1 how about you grow up and learn the difference between someone being a little shit and something that is actually abuse? God help you if something actually bad were to happen.