Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I've just shouted at my son for hiding and jumping out at me

148 replies

mydogmymate · 17/08/2018 20:46

My ds (11) has taken to hiding then jumping out on me. He sits on the stairs and I know he's there but he doesn't answer me. Then, when I least expect it, he jumps out at me or suddenly appears at the door.

I know he's only 11, but the first time he did it I explained that I don't like it and he seemed to get it. Now today, he's done it about 5 times and my nerves are in shreds. Each time he insists he's only joking, but it's just not funny. He did it again about 10 minutes ago and I shouted at him, now he's in his room sulking and said I'm no fun.

Have I overreacted?

OP posts:
Notmany · 17/08/2018 22:26

Some utterly pathetic responses on here trying to convince a mother to assault and criminalise her own 11 year old boy. You bitter so-and-so's should be ashamed of yourselves. I suspect if dc was female none of you would be suggesting such things.

OP, he is a naughty child and you have every right to discipline him appropriately. You have no right to assault him and he us nit a criminal.

Notmany · 17/08/2018 22:27

Not not nit!

Clairetree1 · 17/08/2018 22:28

and so we have a country where thousands of men feel its ok to abuse women, and thousands of women feel its ok to let them......

you can see where it starts.

OP, you have not over reacted at all, ignore these posters minimising the behaviour

Mumofrage · 17/08/2018 22:30

Well calls to knee him in the face are a bit harsh but I really wouldn't be impressed.

Clairetree1 · 17/08/2018 22:31

no body is suggesting criminilising him. can't you read?

its just being pointed out that his behaviour is criminal. As would stealing be, for example, but unlikely that a mother would call the police, although a non relative might, and would be well within their rights to.

And yes, would still be criminal if done by a girl.

I am a teacher, and regularly see mothers beaten, abused and assaulted by both sons and daughters.

Do you think it doesn't happen?

Do you think it doesn't start somewhere?

KurriKurri · 17/08/2018 22:32

my XH (yes - a grown up !) used to do this - one time I jumped so much my hand shot out hit the door frame, bent back and dislocated. He stopped after that, but he still found it hilarious if he scared me by accident.

If someone tells you they don't like something and you carry on doing it, you are a bully who enjoys the discomfort of others. 11 years old is old enough to understand that your behaviour is upsetting someone.

Notmany · 17/08/2018 22:32

clairtree

If you think that treated 11 year old boys as criminals and abusers is going to help things then you are a few sandwiches short of a picnic.

Beong told off and punished is enough for a child for being disobedient. End of.

9amTrain · 17/08/2018 22:32

and so we have a country where thousands of men feel its ok to abuse women, and thousands of women feel its ok to let them......

That is a separate, REAL issue that needs to be dealt with!

An 11 year old annoying his mother is not comparable in any way, why on earth are you making it so?

Oh and it's not a men against women situation either, I've seen it done by and from all ages and sexes...

9amTrain · 17/08/2018 22:33

@Notmany I wholeheartedly agree.

hiddeneverything · 17/08/2018 22:33

@Clairetree1 have I missed the part in the OP where the child physically touches the Mum?

Notmany · 17/08/2018 22:33

I also couldn't give a shit of you are a teacher or not. It gives you little if any authority in the areas of social work, crime or behavioural psychology.

Womaningreen · 17/08/2018 22:34

@KurriKurri

thank goodness he's an ex! Shock

TheSultanofPingu · 17/08/2018 22:35

Absolutely gobsmacked at some of the comments on this thread.
Yes, it's annoying behaviour, but suggesting a mother knees her 11 year old son in the face. Vile Angry

JamieVardysHavingAParty · 17/08/2018 22:38

and so we have a country where thousands of men feel its ok to abuse women, and thousands of women feel its ok to let them......

From the person who thinks that kneeing a child in the face would be legally justifiable as self-defence?

TheSultanofPingu · 17/08/2018 22:41

Are you really a teacher Clairetree1?

Holyguacamoley · 17/08/2018 22:45

Some people find this funny and enjoy it some don't. The fact is that no means no and stop means stop are important lessons for all children (but yes, especially for boys) and in this case you've very clearly said no, so it's appropriate to discipline him (not by assaulting him, obvs).

Frosty6611 · 17/08/2018 22:45

My DP does things like this to me and thinks it’s hilarious. No one was laughing when he did it once when I was holding a boiling cup of tea and ended up scalding myself when I got a fright. Grrrrrrr

Fucksgiven · 17/08/2018 22:47

Boo!!!!

WyfOfBathe · 17/08/2018 22:48

A child did this to me when I worked in a primary school. I screamed at the top of my voice and then shouted at them to leave the room. I felt awful straight afterwards, but it was an automatic reaction to being frightened.

GiraffeObsessedBaby · 17/08/2018 22:49

To the people saying do it back that's fine as long as you don't react to it in the way the OP does or people like myself. I've always had a huge fear of being surprised or jumped out on due to things in my life.

My dh did it a few times in the early days of our relationship. I managed to weakly smile and hide the heart attack going on in my chest. Wobbly legs. Blurred vision. Pure fear. The last time he did it to me I literally broke down in tears, screamed and smacked him before cowering on the floor all in a pure fear fight or flight response. He was totally shocked and profusely apologetic. He now has to make sure he makes noise when walking in the house so I know he's home as just him appearing in the kitchen if I don't expect it scares me.

It's not funny. It's literally terrifying.

JamieVardysHavingAParty · 17/08/2018 22:49

From previous posts on MN, I have formed the impression Claire specialises in General Fast-talk. I feel she would be ill-advised to attempt a career change into law.

downbutnotout2018 · 17/08/2018 22:52

I hate this too glad its not just me. My DC learned it off my nasty exdp who enjoys scaring people. I quickly told the DC I hated it. I think I did shout back once, out of fear. DC is only 6 but it's a horrible shock when you're in your own thoughts. YANBU OP.

JumblieGirl · 17/08/2018 22:54

Grin I’m a teacher too, with a lot of years experience teaching Y6. I stand by my opinion of him being a prat who deserves to lose his phone for a while until he understands why, and that it’s not ok.

dustarr73 · 17/08/2018 22:55

Im deaf and my sons thought it was funny to jump out.Till one day i just broke down.And i explained i really didnt like it.So they stopped.And only do it by accident[i hope]

Cherryminx · 17/08/2018 22:56

I honestly CBA read any more of this thread.

An 11 year old boy jumping out to scare his mum - and she gets a bit pissed off. Fine.

Was funny once. Now not. Shouting is fine

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.