To be pissed off about where we live?

[Beautifulblue]

Just a rant because I'm just PO tbh. Me (27), partner (28) & 1 daughter who is 1yo. We live (& were born in Brighton) we've made do up until this point with a 1 bed (cheap at 800pcm) but really need 2 bedrooms now DD is getting older.. problem is, we can't afford it. DP works full time, I work part time. Almost all (half decent & I mean HALF) 2 beds are £1200+ where we live. Even places within 5+ miles are the same price. How is this fair? We're being forced out of the town we were born in because of ridiculous rent prices & low wages! I just don't know what we're going to do. Places around 15-20 miles away you can get a 2 bed house for 900pcm & the wages are the same there. But all our family/friends & jobs are here. To top it off estate agents want fees, guarantors & your first born to even consider renting to you. Sick of greedy landlords & tight employers! AIBU to think you should be able to afford to stay in the town you were born in!?

Think yourself lucky OP, where I grew up we had to move as the crime and poverty and anti social behaviour was getting worse.

It stinks. But the rents down south are astronomical. For £600 pcm up here in sunny south yorkshire you could get a 3 bed semi with a garden in a decent area. My dh is a builder and drives between 1 to 2 hrs a day for work or works away. Because we couldn't afford to live down south.

We moved 8 miles away from family 3 years ago. It's nothing. Your dp needs to learn to drive. I have a friend whose husbands refusal to prioritise driving lessons impacts their life in many ways from her being responsible for taking the dcs to activities and so on, to her being unable to do overtime at work as he won't be back from work on time to pick the dcs up as he uses public transport.

He needs to pass his test then you can move further out.

You also may need to find a different job. You might need to work more hours. Your dd might need childcare.

I understand that you are pissed off with your current situation but to afford those rents in your chosen area you will need to make sacrifices and choices. Or you stay where you are in a 1 bed. It doesn't seem fair but it is supply and demand.

Op people have found properties that may be suitable and you haven't commented on this.

I lived in Brighton for many years myself and loved it but I had to move away for the same reason you have found - it is just too expensive. You don't have to move to the other side of the country but you might find Hastings, Worthing or Crawley more affordable. You will be able to afford a 2 bed property and can still easily travel back to see family and friends. What do you both do for work? You might be able to get jobs nearer to where you move too

It's not a new thing OP. Same in my day. Plenty of us out there who moved to cheaper areas, then when our circumstances improved moved back (or not).

I forgot to say op that moving away from Brighton gave me the opportunity to retrain and I now have a much better job too

I get you op. We live in West Sussex, and can’t afford to get a bigger place in the town we live in. It’s very popular with commuters and lots of ex London people moving down. We are both from this town and don’t want to move too far either as we have family support here, and friends.

Having looked slightly further afield Haywards Heath, Burgess hill, Worthing, all seem to be slightly cheaper. None too far from Brighton - although I totally get commuting into Brighton can be a nightmare with traffic, parking costs and southern bastard rail!

Having done a quick search on rightmove there are a few flats £950-£1000... Preston park, saltdean, patcham areas. Are you just looking in central Brighton?

OP I feel the same, OH has a decent job and I work part time and we still can't afford in Surrey! Rent for a crappy 3 bed house is £1750 a month here and we have no chance of buying! It's depressing and we have looked at moving out tbh but like you friends, family, jobs and everything we know is here. It's easy to say move up north, but it's not actually that easy, plus you need a job etc before you can do all of that and then you are left miles from friends and family. The only thing I would say is to try and better yourselves, driving lessons for DP, increasing hours or retraining in something higher paid on the side.

What about this place in Hove for £880:
www.rightmove.co.uk/property-to-rent/property-75001193.html

It has sadly never been the case that every working couple could afford a nice 2 bedroom place wherever they live. Housing is proportionally more expensive for everyone and that's very hard; meanwhile clothes, toys and food are cheaper than there ever been proportionally. The only thing you can do is work out what you're willing to compromise on for housing, as we all do. Is it location (distance from the centre / on main roads), size, property condition, etc. I'm not clear what compromises you've decided you're willing to make, you just want a 2 bed instead of your 1-bed, but of course that will cost more.

It's what happens when you live in an expensive place and don't have really good jobs, plus having a family and scaling back work. Life's not fair. I'd focus on working more and acquiring more skills if you want to stay there and putting off having more kids until such time as you're in a better financial position.

I understand your frustration but unfortunately a lot of the time life boils down to the choices we make. Ok being “too cool for school” isn’t a crime, and it’s far from unusual, but the opportunities for doing something about it have probably never been better or more accessible than now. However you chose to have a child whilst living in accommodation that isn’t ideal for raising a family. Your dp doesn’t drive (not sure if you do), but that decision to not learn to drive is impacting on your ability to make changes in your lives, and I’d be surprised if he can easily afford lessons just now with you being in a tight financial situation.
I agree that some of the private rents are absolutely ridiculous, however I’m sure this has been the case for a while, but still you and your do have done nothing which could improve your financial situation, before you had a child.
I’m not being smug, but whilst dh and I are far from loaded, we’re relatively comfortable, and that’s based on decisions we made individually 30+ years ago, and then making sure we were adequately housed before we started a family.

Come to sunny North Wales. 3 bed house for £600 pcm

Every time I see these posts, I'm at a loss as to how people afford rent. I guess your only solution is move further out, but I understand your issue with moving further out increase travel time/cost.

Have you a relative you can move in with in the short term whilst you save for the additional for the deposit. It may be even worse space wise, but if you can save the 3-6 months rent that's essentially your deposit for the new place and then the first month upfront as well as money for storage fees for your stuff. Then, if you have stuff like loans/credit cards get them paid of (so your debt free and income isn't wasted on paying back credit cards) and start a fresh in a new place.

In the mean time, be proactive, go round rental companies in your area and ask them to keep your details on file. If a place comes up In x area at Y price ask them to call immediately. Mention you don't have pets/smoke/both working and that you don't have to give notice (i.e can move quickly) and that your responsible tenants and that you are happy to sign a longer term contract than the standard 6 months.
Go round the local area and see what houses are empty with a to-let sign out and approach the relevant agent. Try sticking in a slightly lower than advertised rent.
Don't forget that landlords want good tenants and ones that can move quickly, the longer a house is empty, the more money they loose.
We did this on our old rental and got a really good property out of it (granted we are north east, but we managed to get £50 of the rent a month) because we said we would sign for a longer term rental). We also stressed we were good tenants.

@tinstar
Deference why?

We couldn't afford to rent or buy in the town where I grew up, so we moved (glad really, too many awful memories). The place we moved to then also became more popular and we were priced out of our next move, so we upped and moved 250 miles and bought pretty much our dream home, which we could never have afforded down south.

We all have to live with our choices; I did poorly at school (combination of life threatening disease followed by a hedonistic attitude), but I worked my way up and retrained and got my shit together.

Having DC early makes everything harder when you don't have a secure home and job, but you have to make the most of it as that's the situation. PPs have made some very useful suggestions; you and DH should look at training to improve your earning potential, consider moving or just put up with the status quo and have the occasional rant.

I love Brighton but couldn't have afforded to live their, so didn't. You say you need to stay in Brighton to be close to family, but if I understand correctly from your PP neither your nor DH's families live in Brighton? Perhaps they made a good and sensible choice and could offer you some advice too.

I actually am quite impressed with the OP for being straight up and honest.

Tbf I got pretty good results at school but I couldn’t have afforded a two bed in Brighton aged 26. Probably would struggle now when you factor in childcare costs.

What does DP do? I take home the same as him and I'm an apprentice...

26 is really very young. This is why a lot of people leave having children until a little bit later so they are more established in their careers and have more money to pay for housing and child care.

Wby don't you both work FT, and claim child tax credits to supplement childcare bill? You would be better off overall.

I lived near Brighton a few years ago, moved from Yorkshire and the prices were insane to me. You have my sympathies op.

The issue is bigger than just the op isn’t it. I have a degree and couldn’t find a better job than retail (back in Yorkshire). The fact is even people with badly paid jobs work very hard, and if they can’t afford rent in your area whose going to make your coffee? Or collect your bins?

There is a huge issue in The south east of working class people priced out of housing and ‘investment’ homes standing empty. Many of these flats and houses are bought by very dodgy characters indeed. Something needs to be done about this.

OP
I think part of the problem is down to life choices, I hated school I wasn’t “cool” and Came from poor background (parents first generation immigrants) so I worked hard went to university married a graduate and had kids in our mid thirties.
Now live in 5 bedroom house in London.

YABU. If you want to live somewhere expensive you have to work for it. If you aren't willing to work for it then just move. My husbands family has almost entirely been priced out if London despite having been born/raised there. Done pfusate actually contributing to the price increases in London, others have moved to commuter towns or overseas altogether. We're not whining about it, that's just how it is.

Londoner here- pushed out into Kent, yes it sucks but theres nothing we can do about it.

Its ridiculous everywhere thats vaguely in commuting distance to london or thats a bit touristy.

My word! I pay 750 for a SMALL (1 box room) 3 bed detached (can smell the neighbours farts) and a tiny garden! Im in Derbyshire (do love it here but plan on retiring in South wales)