To be pissed off about where we live?

[Beautifulblue]

Just a rant because I'm just PO tbh. Me (27), partner (28) & 1 daughter who is 1yo. We live (& were born in Brighton) we've made do up until this point with a 1 bed (cheap at 800pcm) but really need 2 bedrooms now DD is getting older.. problem is, we can't afford it. DP works full time, I work part time. Almost all (half decent & I mean HALF) 2 beds are £1200+ where we live. Even places within 5+ miles are the same price. How is this fair? We're being forced out of the town we were born in because of ridiculous rent prices & low wages! I just don't know what we're going to do. Places around 15-20 miles away you can get a 2 bed house for 900pcm & the wages are the same there. But all our family/friends & jobs are here. To top it off estate agents want fees, guarantors & your first born to even consider renting to you. Sick of greedy landlords & tight employers! AIBU to think you should be able to afford to stay in the town you were born in!?

So true Often! I worked eighty hours per week for half of my two year MA (and fifty for the other half) with a chronic pain condition. I lost count of the number of people who told me ‘oh gosh I couldn’t do that, How will you manage? Surely that’s not possible’ while I was getting on with just doing it. Yes it was difficult, yes I was exhausted, yes my health suffered. But was it worth it? Absolutely yes, a million times over. As it tripled my salary, gave me a good job I enjoyed doing with prospects and has set me up to be able to have kids a few years after I’d have wanted to in an ideal world, but being able to offer them a secure home and have the resources I need to raise them well, with a man who shares similar values.

That was my choice. I could equally have chosen to get pregnant early twenties with my ex who had no ambition or earning power while I was earning next to nothing and had no earning power either (but I had ambition at least I guess). If I’d done that I couldn’t have studied with the intensity I did, the hours just wouldn’t have worked. So I’d probably still be on NMW struggling and bringing a child up in an environment I know first hand from my own childhood that was stressful and shit. “Money isn’t everything” is something people who’ve never been poor say.

Our actions and choices have consequences. But luckily that never goes away. It’s never too late to start to make positive changes and plans.

I have the same situation in my city and settled farther out. In the end 5 miles out is not that much less of a commute than 10miles out when you figure in rush hour etc. once you get past the 5 mile boundary the level of traffic drops.

Ignore me saw your next post about drop offs and impact on your DD

I also live in Brighton and there are definitely decent 2 bed flats in your price range within 5 miles of Brighton. I just looked at a load on Right Move - you may have to pay a little more but you can definitely get something for under £1000.

I do understand why you want to stay here - it's bloody lovely.

www.rightmove.co.uk/property-to-rent/property-74169755.html

www.rightmove.co.uk/property-to-rent/property-66994792.html

www.rightmove.co.uk/property-to-rent/property-67511918.html

I can't believe the cheek of that flat happypoobum linked to in Southwick claiming to be in Brighton, by no stretch of the imagination is Southwick even close to being in Brighton!

If you are prepared to move there's amazing places that would give you quality of life and great for your kids. I live in tye Yorkshire Dales, im 15 miles from leeds and Bradford. Schools are good and I pay £650 a month for a 3 bed teraced with small garden.
Totally agree with you about feeling forced out tho.

totally They are very cheeky aren't they!! [grin[

I think some EA rely on people moving in from out of area! However, that particular flat is nice. The development is very safe and well maintained, and it is well within the 5 mile radius OP said was acceptable.

OP just is not going to be able to find a nice 2 bed flat in her budget in central Brighton and Hove. It's that old issue of size or location and OP isn't alone in that. Where I think Brighton is different, and what OP is getting at, is that the average salary to house price ratio in Brighton is crazy. This is in part due to the success of Brighton and Hove as a commuter city, but also because it is just such a lovely place to live.

I agree with you about the salary to house price ratio being out of whack in Brighton happypoobum we are moving away because we need a bigger house, but can't afford anything in Brighton.

It is what it is, but I can understand why the OP is peeved when rents shoot up and the demographic of and area is drastically changed over the course of 10 years, which is what has happened in my area of Brighton.

Understood.

I am in Hove (born and bred, over 50 years) and the demographic here is pretty much what it always has been so far as I can see. I do accept that the demographic further East may have changed a lot more though.

I hope you find what you are looking for OP.

OP could you consider moving to Burgess hill?

It's a short journey to Brighton and you could afford this www.rightmove.co.uk/s6p/56157912

I understand you need to drop DD at your husband's work. Are you able to find work on Burgess hill?

www.rightmove.co.uk/property-to-rent/property-55383663.html
2 bed house 395 pcm but live in landlord Millyard Crescent

www.rightmove.co.uk/property-to-rent/property-67043077.html 2 bed in Kemp Town, 875pcm.

Good luck OP Hang on in there, especially since you sounded more upbeat in your last post, but as PPs have said, crack on with getting a new life. You're not alone in being forced out of your home town but I reckon millions of us have done it. And while it's great to be around family especially if they are giving you support with childcare etc it isn't always possible.

I think the commute is your best bet to be honest - and your DP learning to drive - but then I'm from a village, so to do anything was at least a 10 mile journey, I barely register something that short!

I think I'd hold on in your one bed until the right rental/a better job turns up - DS, DP and I shared a room until he was 2, and even when we then moved and had a room for him, he spent a lot of time in with us because we were all just used to it.

The trouble we found when looking for places is that it all balances out - to live walkable to things in a town is more expensive than being further out, but then when you're further out you need transport, so you still don't have anything spare

Brighton is very expensive but this is the case for the vast majority of people who grew up in expensive villages too. You just have to move.

Thanks everyone, in regards to moving out & commuting please see my above post regarding the difficulty of that.. although a very good option & I would prefer the space/a nicer place over location with our jobs it wouldn't be easy & finding new jobs feels like a big up heavel but definitely something we're discussing the logistics of.
& thanks to @happypoobum for posting links to potential properties I have emailed 2 of those!

Have you checked with your council about housing benefit? I’m not talking the whole rent, just a top up to make it more affordable. They pay it into your bank account every 2 weeks. We have had this for 4 years as we’re also in a very expensive area. My OH has just changed jobs and got a considerable pay rise so we don’t qualify any more, but it really was a great top up. It’s so worth filling out all the paperwork and providing pay slips etc. I’m 100% confident you would qualify for this given your wages.

(That is if you’re not receiving tax credits or universal credits I believe)

People brought up in cheaper areas don't have it easy either. I was brought up in a small town with cheap housing, but there are no jobs so I had to move 350 miles away to get work. I now live in the SE.

Everyone does have a choice. Even though you made some bad choices in the past like being lazy at school and having a child when you are very young and can't really afford it, you can still make a change. You only work full time, so you might need to work more hours. Or one of you might need to retrain, or move further out and commute - lots of suggestions given by other people.

No one is entitled to everything they want, and to be honest I don't see why someone with poor qualifications working part-time would expect to have a two bedroom flat in a place like Brighton. Something has to change, either your area or your income. Its a real shame that young people often don't think about these things when they are at school and mucking around, but that's often the way with teenagers.

@harshbuttrue I would love to work more hours, but that would mean paying for child care so i would be working to pay for childcare & wouldn't actually walk away with anything as putting a child in day care here cost approx £50, which is roughly what I would earn. & the government doesn't help with child care expenses if you're working. I have looked into it... I work all the hours I can around DP's hours.
Also, as another poster suggested further up ^ people stills needs their bins collect in Brighton, or in my job elderly people still need to be cared for in Brighton, or DP's job... warehouses still need employees. So they're fine with employing these people with no qualifications in the town but don't expect them to be able to live there? So we are good enough to work here but not entitled to live here? Seems unfair to me. We aren't asking for anything fancy, just a 2 bedroom property, for our little family that's all. Not everyone went to college/university & got good qualifications & a well paid job, it's just the way of the world! Do I regret it? Now I have a daughter absolutely & I will strive for her to do better than I did. If I could go back knowing what I know now I would of done things differently but that doesn't make a difference to the situation we're in now unfortunately.
Also I appreciate this is AIBU & people will have strong opinions but I just wanted to clarify that my daughter was very much wanted, we tried for 3 years to have her & she is everything we ever dreamed of. At the time, we both worked full time & loved comfortably & I didn't foresee the struggles we would have once I could no longer work full time (very naieve of me with hindsight) but it sounds as though we may be entitled to some government assistance which I will look into it. I find it degrading tbh, but have seen this quote from Danny Dyer! & I feel less guilty...

harshbuttrue1980

Sadly for the OP, what you say is very true. And regardless of the location issue, with one child and another on the way, life is only going to get more expensive. OP and her DH need to come up with a plan to increase their income, and it probably means getting some training to get skills or qualifications.
In her shoes, I would be looking at moving out of town somewhere as cheap as possible, and getting skilled. They can move back into Brighton after they've made the effort to increase their earning power.

@choli no child on the way - we just have 1 daughter who is 13 months.

The points raise were more about what you can still do. You don't have to go back. You can do so many things to make your family life better now.

Yes, someone has to do that jobs, but tbh most of the low paid jobs are not a permanent career for people. And even in these jobs there is a chance of progressing furter up to the management. Honestly you sound like you resigned on the progression and moving onto something better and that's a shame.

@OftenHangry some people don't have careers! They have jobs... that pay the bills! Mumsnet seems to have this ideaology of '2 working professionals, 4 bed detached house & 2.4 children, with at least 10k in the bank in case of emergencies!' & that's great if that was your goal in life or that's how you feel comfortable but I am not career focused & I have no shame in admitting that, I am family focused without a doubt (& that is fine to before anyone says otherwise I don't need to justify what naturally is a priority to me) even 20 years ago, you didn't need a career to have a family home, you just had to work (my parents are a prime example of this) there will always be people working low paid jobs - long term, but house prices are higher than ever & wages are not increasing & that is this underlining issue here.

You don't need to have a "career" but you can get a better job. Or encourage DH to get better paid job.

20 years ago is 20 years ago. People should stop using this comparison. Yes, it's more difficult and much more expensive compare to wages, but that's just how it is unfortunately.

Mumsnet doesn't have this ideology. Majority of people just realise that when something sucks, they have to go and do something about it or make peace with it.

You are the author of your own life.

You can choose to go back to school, get a better education and a better job. You chose to have a child before you could afford appropriate housing to raise them in. You chose to live in an area where you cannot afford a 2 bedroom house. Your DH can choose to learn how to drive.

Saying someone has to so the shitty jobs is an excuse for you to not get a better job. Saying you should be able to get a bigger house in the area you were born is just snobbish entitlement.

I suggest you have you priorities all wrong. Move to an area you can afford a bigger house, get a better education/job, save up for a deposit and then you can move to the area where you want to live. Instead of expecting other people to provide it for you.

Don’t give up hope. Prime location has a few 2 bed rentals in Brighton and Hove under 900 pcm.