To be pissed off about where we live?

[Beautifulblue]

Just a rant because I'm just PO tbh. Me (27), partner (28) & 1 daughter who is 1yo. We live (& were born in Brighton) we've made do up until this point with a 1 bed (cheap at 800pcm) but really need 2 bedrooms now DD is getting older.. problem is, we can't afford it. DP works full time, I work part time. Almost all (half decent & I mean HALF) 2 beds are £1200+ where we live. Even places within 5+ miles are the same price. How is this fair? We're being forced out of the town we were born in because of ridiculous rent prices & low wages! I just don't know what we're going to do. Places around 15-20 miles away you can get a 2 bed house for 900pcm & the wages are the same there. But all our family/friends & jobs are here. To top it off estate agents want fees, guarantors & your first born to even consider renting to you. Sick of greedy landlords & tight employers! AIBU to think you should be able to afford to stay in the town you were born in!?

Realistically though what's the point in harbouring this resentment - it won't help the op's situation. The nature of Brighton being transient means it's highly unlikely there is going to be priority housing for locals.

You are on very low wages OP, I would have thought you are entitled to some form of benefits.

But in the long term perhaps look at retraining to give yourselves greater earning potential.

Not being able to live where you were born and raised its nothing new, my 4 siblings and I don't live in our home towns, or even the same towns as each other, and neither do 3 of their partners. Dhs 2 db's are in different towns too. My home town isn't where my parents were raised either. We all moved to where suitable housing or jobs/commute were, it would have been lovely if we could have all lived and worked closer.

It seems every life decision you have made its working against what you say you want. Noone is forcing you out, you have put yourself in a position where you continue to work in lower paid jobs rather than retaining, then have a family and work pt before becoming more financially viable for the area where you want to live. Of course your choices of where you can afford to live are going to be limited in those circumstances, crying it is unfair is incredibly immature.

You need to put your children first now op.

I left my mam, brother and friends 60 miles away, to move out of the city, into rural life, for my kids.

We made it work, new friends, lots of visits both ways (10 miles is seriously fuck all!??)

Do what you have to do.

Yep it's a bit crap but we moved to the south west from Kent due to affordability and the life we wanted for dc. Life is about sacrifice.

I'm in the same area & as such I really feel for you. Thanks to whole house Airbnb & greedy landlords, it's ridiculous here now. A large house in our street that used to be rented as a family home is now Airbnb at over £1000 Just for a long weekend, so with that & all the students HMOs, etc. no real surprise there's a shortage of suitable properties, leaving the rest to take the pee

Luckily we don't rent as we are older & bought well before it got silly here. We are frequently gobsmacked at the rents discussed on the Hanover Noticeboard though & we've seen many friends go through the same thing.

Have you looked at Peacehaven?? Several of our friends have moved out that way as they got much better value for money & they live the area

I hope it works out for you soon & you find something lovely 💐

It is unreasonable to be pissed off with the situation because you personally cannot change high house prices. You being eggy affects you and your family.
Stop being missed off and accept the situation is not to your liking, and then take some action.

Well you could always move where my nephew and girlfriend live (less than 40 miles from London), they managed to buy a flat then a house and are still a lot younger than you (22 or 23 I can never remember!). Of course they don't have kids (or degrees) but are on low salaries. The 'problem' is you're restricted by having kids, they cost you salary in terms of where you work and how many hours - nephew and girlfriend can work overtime and save it up, they only have 1 car and walk where they can, they keep a tight budget and their costs low, eg no holidays abroad and that's how they managed to afford to move from their flat to a house within 2 years.
I'm not buying a wedding hat anytime soon although they're engaged they don't see the point of spending money on getting married just yet - still DIY to do on the new house, nor will they be starting a family yet.

You are stuck between a rock and a hard place. You want to stay in Brighton because it’s a fantastic city but because it’s a fantastic city and (IMO) infintitely better than anywhere else in a 30 mile radius, you can’t afford to stay there.

You are going to have to compromise, either live somewhere crappy in Brighton or somewhere nicer outside Brighton and commute. It’s not great but it’s the real world.

I also think the way out of this situation is education. You come across as eloquent. If your dh is as intelligent as you, one of you should be able to study and get a higher paid job. A career, rather than work. This would probably mean you could no longer tag team though.

My dh didn’t have a bedroom until he was 9 btw. He slept in the living room and his parents went to bed early. I know you want more for your child and it’s not how I would choose to live either, I’m just trying to explain it is possible.

Start to shift your focus on solutions rather than problems. You are still young enough to make the changes it appears you desire. There may not be any quick fixes but it’s about the long term.

Always happens on these threads. Apparently well paid jobs are dead easy to get with just a bit of effort

For heavens sake. The median wage is £24k ish. That's the middle, half of people earn less than that.

I have a first class degree from a red brick university and graduated 8 yrs ago. I earn less than the median and that is not for want of trying.

YANBU OP. The housing situation and income inequality in the UK is a joke. Some good ideas on this thread, hope you feel able to explore your options fully.

Rednaxela
So bloody what if people are saying to op and her dh to look to better educate themselves. She’s rejected every other idea, y’know those good ideas you cited. The only other solution is to tell her she’s not exploring any options, unfortunate as then nothing will change so good luck. In actual fact she only ever wanted to rant, not ask for solutions. Says it in the op.

My mum grew up and still lives in Notting hill. I accepted from a young age I would never be able to afford a place there, and I would have to move out. I worked really hard at school, uni and have progressed to the top of my career and earn a good income. Still can’t afford the rent in Notting hill. I’ve happily relocated to Bedfordshire and my commute is less than an hour for to door. The compromise is that I’m in a totally different area and having to build a local support network of friends as family live an hour plus away.

It’s life I’m afraid. Brighton is really sought after because of its location and there’s nothing you can do. I would look at you and your DP retraining in your spare time (easier said than done with young children) to increase your earning potential and in the short term moving out to keep your overheads down. Doesn’t have to be forever. So your family aren’t actually ‘in brighton’ either by the sounds of it? It’s tough not having any family local to us but it is what it is.

I realise I don’t know the area too well but this is only £950 Westbrook, Lustrells Vale,Saltdean
www.rightmove.co.uk/property-to-rent/property-68453360.html
and nearer your in laws.

I think DP really needs to learn to drive, is there anything stopping him?

It's shit OP but locals are the ones who have commanded and expected high prices when selling houses so you are clearly in the minority in caring about locals/home town etc. Have you tried Moulescoombe? Whitehawk?

15/20 miles isn’t much, my daughter commute 24 miles each way to school every day. But I get the work hand over issue. It sounds as if the jobs will need to be re-looked at if possible. Different shifts, do you drive?

I live a few miles from Brighton, and I'm chuckling at "10 miles isn't too far if you have a car".

Brighton grinds to a halt in morning and evening rush hours, an accident on any of the main routes out of town causes gridlock for miles around and parking is so exorbitant that I've heard of someone renting out their parking space, a short walk from the station, for £300 a month! DP gets the bus to work, and there have been a couple of times it has taken him 2 hours to get home because there have been accidents on the A27.

You're right, OP, it's shite. Rents are ridiculous and letting agents are vultures in the fees they charge. And people are having to move away from their home towns right across the area, it's not just Brighton.

Housing is in a ludicrous mess in this country, at least in the south. If you can get a deposit together and earn enough, you can buy a flat with a 10% and your mortgage can be significantly less than the rent you would pay for an equivalent property. If you don't earn enough, you're stuffed, paying nearly half your combined income in rent.

Having said that, my DGDs mum found a 2-bed for £950 a short while ago. It has no garden, and is on a busy road (Elm Grove), but the flat itself is nice and in good nick.

I've known people find places through FB, by getting in quickly when people they know are moving out etc.

And don't give up on the council. There's a lot of new building going on, most with some social/affordable housing, and Brighton council restricts a proportion of lettings to the "economically active", ie working. Keep looking, and keep bidding.

Where have you been looking for flats? DH and I are moving to Brighton at the end of the month to a 2 bed and it's £1050, but we also found ok 2 beds at around the £950-990 mark...and that's around Preston Park/5 ways so a 'nice' bit of Brighton! (Found on rightmove with settings from cheapest to most expensive)

Re: London wages DH is keeping his London job the exact same job in Brighton is 8-10k less a year (he gets a discount on his season ticket to make it worth it)....but in zone 6 of London we were paying £1200 for a 2 bed...so I think living out of greater London and commuting in is probably the most effective solution.

How about slightly inland - Woodingdean?

Can one of you find a job closer to the new town if you move out of Brighton? You don't have to continue working in Brighton if you move. Obviously I don't know what your jobs are so don't know how easy it is to find a new one.

It’s normal all over country.

I would ideally live near my parents but a house there is around £350 more than my home(same size etc) so I moved to the cheaper area.

I think it's quite childish to not even consider moving away from where you were born to improve the quality of your family's lives. Yes family are important, but the world is a huge place, moving 10-20 miles is really not the end of the world is it?
DP and I are at least 200 miles and 500 miles from our respective families and we have both made great new friends, have a great home in a wonderful part of the world and enough spare money to enjoy life and visit family and friends regularly.

Know it would involve some massive changes in lifestyle but have you looked at burgess Hill/Haywards Heath? Somewhere on the train line? It's a 12min journey into Brighton and much cheaper rent. As a Brighton employer we pay the 'Brighton living wage' which is higher than the national living wage, it's an expensive place so I feel your pain.

Places around 15-20 miles away you can get a 2 bed house for 900pcm & the wages are the same there.

This isn't strictly true though. Brighton has a lot of jobs, ranging from minimum wage to very high pay. The surrounding towns have less very well paid jobs and less jobs in general so are slightly less desirable. It's the high wages that drive house prices, not minimum wages.