Not sharing recipes

[ThreeHousesNoHouse]

Aibu to find it annoying and childish when people don’t share recipes. As if it makes them special to be the only one who can make a dish.

Even giving a general direction is fair enough e.g. the chicken has paprika and cumin or ‘I put beetroot in the chocolate cake but it’s a family secret recipe so I won’t go into detail’ is fine.

My mil once told me the recipe for dh’s favourite stew she made ‘is somewhere on the internet maybe’ eyeroll.
At least own it and say ‘I want to be the only one able to make his favourite dish’.

It’s more weird when vague acquaintances won’t share. E.g. church bring and share, but won’t share the recipe.

If I make the cake at the next bring and share we will all know it’s Gladys’ recipe. If I make it at the school cake sale how will that affect Gladys?

When I was fit and healthy I ran a food business with my dh. Those recipes I don't share because it's intellectual property so to speak.

Anything I make for the family and friends is shared if requested. Seems silly not to share. It just spreads enjoyment of good food to more people. People rant and rave about our food and ask how it's made but decline the recipe because they think it'd be too difficult for them to make because they're not chefs......which is a shame because I don't make complicated food.

If someone likes my cooking enough to ask for the recipe I am glad to pass it on. I can’t, for the life of me, understand the thought process of jealously guarding a set of instructions. It just seems utterly bizarre to me. Don’t people want to share their good fortune with their friends and loved ones?

HappyHippy45 I'm in the same situation. People would come to me, (I sold at Farmers Markets) point to something and say, 'Recipe?' Not even 'please' . I never share my professional recipes; I've developed them, they are my stock-in-trade, so to speak, my living. Personal recipes, sometimes. It depends who is asking. Some people take anything and everything and never offer thank you, so I don't share with them. People who pass my recipe off as their very own don't get the chance twice. Otherwise, yes. If you have tasted something, it isn't that hard to think about what's in it, so I can't understand all this, Ooh, give me this, give me that!

caramel/chocolate/roasted almond covered apples

Gugglebum - if MN offered an imploring puppy dog eyes icon, I'd be using it right now. Despite the fact that it sounds like it has the potential for serious self-harm (dodgy hands, courtesy of psoriatic arthritis) and ludicrously fragile teeth :)

-->Points to self. No commonsense. At least I have insight.

I never mind giving people recipes. Many of them have come from my Gran! She has a lovely old scrap book of recipes, lots of which belonged to her Mum. My mum doesn't enjoy baking so it's skipping her and coming to me. (Obviously I hope I have to wait many, many years for it yet.) She gave me a recipe scrapbook a few years ago so I've started my own collection now too.

Those recipes I don't share because it's intellectual property so to speak.

That is totally acceptable!! You don't see coke sharing their recipe,

arranfan Shall I PM you? Or I can just foist the recipe on everyone at once on here... 😂

I totally understand commercial businesses not sharing their recipes.

But honestly I just love sharing my knowledge about lots of things because I lose nothing and the other person gains. However, I apply that even at work - we have to do set pieces and I will often produce an initial version and then the rest of the team tweak it for their versions. I would have had to put the effort into writing mine anyway, so if they can save time then why not? So I don’t think I have the copying homework feeling.

Same as for sewing: I will ask one of my expert friends for help on something complicated but then I will show less experienced people how to darn. And so that knowledge is passed on and improved with every generation, rather than lost.

Can we start a recipe sharing thread!?

@ Gugglebum

Foist away please

I never mind sharing recipes either - I love seeing someone else’s when it turns out really well. I have a friend who I gave a recipe to who always sends me a picture when he makes it because it’s a real achievement for him , and it never fails to make me smile .

Two of my sons are off to uni this year . I have made them up a recipe book of all our usual meals , including all their favourites and some budget ones when money gets a bit tight . I’ve also spent some of the summer making them cook with me , so they get a feel for it . It’s been some of the nicest times we’ve had .

Sharing these kinds of recipes makes them immortal . An enduring memory for everyone who makes them , whoever they are .

I own a business which is based on one single recipe, no one ever asks what it is, but they will happy munch on the produce! Its like an unspoken rule that the recipe must never be discussed ( I would never tell them anyway … )

I am happy to share my Waffle Burgers recipie.

For this you need:
2 x burgers (quarter pounders are good)
4 x Potato waffles
2 x cheese slices (proper cheese not the rubbery stuff)
1 x tomato
2 x dollops of tomato ketchup

Cook burgers under grill in oven until done
Pop the waffles in around 10 minutes before the burgers are done, remembering to turn them over half way through.

Once cooked place each burger on a waffle. Top with cheese, tomato and tomato sauce.

Place other waffle on top.

Enjoy!!

(This recipie was created following a shortage of burger baps in my house, so I used waffles instead ). My DP loves them. I have no idea why).

Alright. Disclaimer is measurements are close but not always exact because of different brands of chocolate and caramels. When in doubt round up slightly.

Fancy Schmancy Apples
680 g soft caramels (any kind you can squish a bit with your fingers will work)
800 g chocolate chips (dark and milk work equally well)
700 g whole raw almonds
45 ml vanilla extract
45 ml corn syrup
7-9 apples, depending on size (firm crisp varieties are best, I like Gala)
Baking parchment
Baking sheet
2 microwaveable bowls
Large rectangular baking dish

Heat oven to 190*C.
Spread almonds evenly on baking sheet, toast in oven for 15 minutes. Cool completely. Pour into a food processor in large handful increments, pulsing each until chunky. Put in large baking dish.
Spread baking parchment on baking sheet and set aside.

Caramels: place in a microwaveable bowl, pour corn syrup and vanilla over them. Microwave on high, 4-5 minutes, stirring every minute until smooth. Immediately dip apple, drawing caramel up the sides with a spoon, leaving top/stem exposed. Place on cookie sheet. Repeat with remaining apples. Cool completely in fridge.

Chocolate: Micriwave at half power, about 4 minutes, stirring every minute until melted and smooth. Working quickly, dip caramel apple, drawing chocolate up the sides just like above, shaking off excess, then place immediately into almonds, and press almonds into the chocolate with your hands. Place back onto cookie sheet and store in the fridge.

These store easily upwards of 3 weeks if refrigerated. I put them in pretty bags with ribbon etc and give them as teacher or neighbour gifts at Christmas. A big sharp knife, cutting into 6 or so pieces is advisable over attempting to take a bite.

This thread is making me very hungry.

Yea - if they're like the bakers in my family and do it on instinct/memory they may not have a 'recipe' as such. Mums tried to give me guidance - but her 'handful' isn't the same as mine - my hands are smaller!

But where they DO know the measurements? Yea it's weird.

I'm perfectly willing to share mine. Most are originally from cookbooks or Internet, but I've tweaked along the way (as most people do) to accommodate mine and dds preferences.

I'm more of a cook than a baker (a recent episode of bull helped me understand why - cooks are more experimental, bakers more precise as it's easy to get baked goods wrong - plenty of evidence of that on bake off!)

I can bake, but I definitely need a recipe, I haven't the natural knack for it, like my mum grans and their mothers. My sisters more a baker and tends to over flavour (I think) on savoury recipes. Whereas (I think) I'm pretty good (I think) at getting the flavours balanced in a savoury dish (thinking about it I'd struggle to say exactly what I use in most of my cooking!)

JellySlice - what a lovely moving post.

Dd can cook (I'm always shocked on mn when there's DC aged 14+ who absolutely cannot cook!) but isn't yet confident in tweaking - I figure that will come with time and experience. So she sticks quite fastidiously to instructions/recipes.

Clionba- phoebes cookies in friends were nestle tollhouse - a packet mix I think? A Google reveals not packet mix but a recipe accompanying a product (nestle choc chunks)

But even packet mix make ups can be altered to personalise.

And yes - I remember my mum making (probably still does!) chicken chausseur using condensed mushroom soup.

My lovely now ex mil gave me an old cookbook which had exh favourite recipes in it - notes in the margins or other spaces of the tweaks she made to them.

I LOVE the old recipe books with recipes that can be made months ahead and contain leftover ingredients - these sort of recipes should be revived really - cheap and eco friendly.

On programmes like eat well for less and inside the factory, there's a historian who tries out the old recipes and seems often to be pleasantly surprised even if they don't look very appetising.

Screen grabbed soupdragon's flapjack recipe now! Thank you.

I'm also debating adding ingredients to my online shop next week so I can make tablet. If I'm gonna have leftover condensed milk (would've been no such thing in my granny's houses!) I might as well. Or maybe millionaire shortbread

And if anyone wants to share pasta sauce recipes I'm all ears. I have one authentic Italian recipe but always good to try others.

Mothersanonymous remember a few years back when everyone was saying they made the best roasties? But all they were doing different was using goose fat as per (I think) a Jamie Oliver programme? But making out it was their idea! I'm veggie and it meant SO many places and times that previously having toasties wouldn't be a problem I was suddenly missing out! Was not impressed.

Personally it's King Edwards, par boil for 20 mins, "shoogle" (technical term 😉) in a colander after the parboil to "roughen" the surface, roast in pre-heated olive oil, oven hot as it'll go.

Ditto yorkies - the key is pre-heating the oil (and not over filling the wells).

Mash - and this will be seen as sacrilege by many - dd only likes instant (I know!) plenty butter & seasoning - but also a spoonful of mayo and a clove of crushed garlic. Only way she'll eat potatoes. (Yep I've a teen who hates chips).

A friend years ago divulged a funny "secret" to her "herb crusted sausage casserole" - stuffing mix is the herb crust! Added 20 mins before end of cooking time - lush!

I used to share, but I’m more reluctant now. I’m a shit cook and baker, but I can make 6 things - 2 breads and 4 cakes - taught by my granny.

So at “bring something” get togethers (which are v.common in the family)!it’s a standing joke that I’ll bring one of them.

I shared recipes happily with BIL’s new wife... who now brings the same 3 of my recipes (that I happen to be the most confident in) along with her only 55 things to every event.

So I won’t share anymore because she’s just rude.

A few years ago, I picked up a pile of magazines from the US in a charity shop. They had loads of recipes in, but nearly all of them included things like Campbells condensed soup!

I've always shared my recipes, whether it was food, or soaps/bath/body products. My marshmallow bath melts were famous on a soaping forum I belonged to, everybody loved making them.

The problem with not sharing recipes, is that they'll eventually get lost in time, especially nowadays with fewer people cooking from scratch, like previous generations.

Mum of ex-BF made the most wonderful trifle, I've never tasted anything like it, and wasn't too bothered, at that time, about finding out what the recipe was (only too happy to let her make it). Since he became an ex I really miss him that trifle. If only I'd asked!

Mum of ex-BF made the most wonderful trifle, I've never tasted anything like it

One of my aunts made a fabulous trifle - neither of her daughters preserved the recipe as they've eaten low-fat for years. I wish I could make it for a family gathering in honour of her.

Gugglebum Thank You! I shall look out for firm enough apples. And the advice about slicing rather than biting seems eminently sensible.

You are very right it is plain weird! Someone was like that with me once and I just thought wtf! I’m always happy to share recipes I would have thought that was the idea. If nobody ever shared a recipe there would be no regional dishes, no national cuisine etc it’s just the height of petty weirdness.

Back in the olden days, pre- (or perhaps very early post-)war, my grand mother was privileged to be given the recipe to Boodle's Fool by the chef who invented it. This chef was employed by Boodle's and people would come to Boodle's because that pudding was so delicious. The chef was made by that recipe. All chefs back then lived or died by their recipes and kept them close. He swore her to secrecy.

My grandmother passed the recipe on to my mum, who passed it on to me. It is absolutely delicious, we had it at our wedding reception. I have not made it often.

I am pretty sure it'll be available over the internet now, but 30/40 years ago it seemed like such a huge privilege that my mum had conferred to me that I wouldn't have passed on the recipe to anyone. Tbh, even though I know it's idiotic, I still don't feel right about giving it away. Isn't that silly?

Many recipes are mundane - even if delicious - so sharing them is inconsequential. I do it frequently. Though recipients are often unsatisfied because I mostly throw things together without measuring.

But some recipes are sacred, and no, I do not share these. Judge away. I know what they are worth.

They contain love, power, and history.

They are more "genetic" for lack of a better word. I think of them as my ghost recipes. I feel very emotional about them. Sharing them is a gift and I only even cook them for certain people.

They are my children's birthright. Copies are stored with my will. Perhaps I will publish them someday. But there will be no chance that the dead women who loved me so well will not be given the credit they deserve.

Don't cast your pearls before swine! Some of the people who have asked me for my recipes have gone on to hurt me immeasurably. Thank God they will never be able to stand in their kitchens happily making my recipes! My abusive ex once wrote, asking for a copy of a helpful document available for a charge from a public office, as well as one of my recipes. Bitch, please. I said no to both.

Saying all that...

I just read about this project in the Guardian and love it!

www.granddishes.com/

Enjoli, that's a beautiful way to express it, genetic "ghost recipes", how lovely that you think if your ancestors when you cook them. Purely out of curiosity, what kind of dishes did they pass down to you? I am someone with virtually no history, I always feel like I'm ploughing a fresh new furrow in this life with no such sense of 'before', nor roots nor ancestry to guide me.

I'm always ridiculously flattered if someone likes something I've cooked! It's generally out of a book. I loved it when I lived in Italy and locals used to argue about who / whose Granny cooked the best version of the regional dish. I'd never encountered such passion and competition over food. Loved it!

I don't mind passing on recipes to people I like

My friend makes my gingerbread recipe that came from my DGM and I get a text from her whenever she's makes it, so it keeps us in touch which is nice