Not sharing recipes

[ThreeHousesNoHouse]

Aibu to find it annoying and childish when people don’t share recipes. As if it makes them special to be the only one who can make a dish.

Even giving a general direction is fair enough e.g. the chicken has paprika and cumin or ‘I put beetroot in the chocolate cake but it’s a family secret recipe so I won’t go into detail’ is fine.

My mil once told me the recipe for dh’s favourite stew she made ‘is somewhere on the internet maybe’ eyeroll.
At least own it and say ‘I want to be the only one able to make his favourite dish’.

It’s more weird when vague acquaintances won’t share. E.g. church bring and share, but won’t share the recipe.

If I make the cake at the next bring and share we will all know it’s Gladys’ recipe. If I make it at the school cake sale how will that affect Gladys?

When visiting the DH's old friend he made us a wonderful fruit cake which we praised. he said that it was his mother's recipe and wrote it down on the spot for me and I have used it many times since. I thought it was a kind and generous gesture.

A year later he messaged me to say he'd lost the recipe and to ask if I remembered it. I was able to send it back immediately with some optional additional modifications I had made when making mine.

A case of generosity rewarded.

Some recipes carefully hoarded will result in being lost when the holder passes on and this seems a pity - though I can understand that family recipes belong to the family.

I drive my mum barmy when she asks for the recipe of something I've cooked (not normally cakes as I'm not a baker as a rule but vegetarian curries and the like) because basically I'm that person who uses a recipe as a total gentle recommendation and flings stuff in all over the shop. Somehow "bung a couple of tins of tomatoes, a dollop of sugar and a couple of shakes of this and this spice jar" doesn't meet my mum's requirements for a suitable recipe and I get told off... when in reality it's exactly what I do - loosely based on whatever on the internet (which I'll freely admit to) and completely bastardised beyond all recognition! Also happy to admit when I've used a soup or packet solution in there as well.

I can never understand people talking about 'secret family recipes'. It sounds a bit daft. I will always share a recipe. Certain dishes have gone down in our family with names like 'Jill's chicken stew', 'Margaret's flapjacks' after the person who gave us the recipe, which I think is much nicer than hoarding your recipes and refusing to share them.

Agree, OP, so Hyacinth Bucket.

MamaSchwifty, most are baked goods or special time-consuming dishes that are only cooked on specific holidays. There are a couple of soups, too. I am an immigrant so there is a cultural context to my protectionism.

I am fascinated by why people feel
so insulted by having a desired recipe withheld from them!

It's a bit imperialistic!

People where I come from understand the emotional and social value of a closely guarded, passed-down recipe. We are grateful when it is shared but understanding when it is not. What a fun challenge to try to duplicate, improve, or try to put our own twist on another person's signature dish.

Back in the day when the WI had WI Markets - my local one used to have hotly-contested chicken pies, but only Mrs G's chicken pies.

It has to be said that when she was ready to bow out of baking for the WI Market, Mrs G shared her recipe with other bakers who promptly labelled their goods, Mrs G's Chicken Pie (prepared by X).

I get that for some people, they aren't just recipes. But I would never say no. I make pumpkin pie every year and always get asked - I always pass it on and I'd never withhold the tweaks that make it better.

But don't ask for it now as I'm on hol and it's in a binder at home!

@Gugglebum

Thank you. I have saved that recipe to try in the autumn. it sounds much nicer than supermarket toffee apples.

Thank you so much @soupdragon really looking forward to trying these....

Can I reciprocate with my mum's plum tart recipe (Disclaimer - may be someone else's too - she can't remember if she made it up or tweaked someone else's, and there are no measurements, but it always seems fairly tolerant)

Smash up some ginger nuts in a bag and mix with soft brown sugar (preferably muscovado or dark) and some cinnamon(I think I usually usually use about 4-6 biscuits to a couple of tablespoons of sugar and a tablespoon of cinammon). Grease a baking tin very generously with real butter - we use a round flan tin. Sprinkle with some of the ginger nut mixture -you don't want it deep, but you should aim for a thin fairly even covering all over. Roll out pastry to fit (either shortcrust or puff, but not sweet pastry). Cover surface evenly with halved, stoned plums (different colours in circles looks pretty, but not necessary) and fill any gaps with quarters or eights of plums. Sprinkle the rest of gingernut and cinnamon mixture thickly over the top and bake in a hot over for 30-40 minutes or until done. Eat warm or cold with cream, icecream or plain yoghurt.

A tablespoon of cinnamon, are you sure? That sounds like an awful lot! Did you mean teaspoon?

What can I say? We like cinnamon! Anything from a teaspoon to a tablespoon works...

That sounds like a perfect amount of Cinnamon to me

Can I swap for fruit other than plums?

@korvalscat I hope you love them as much as my family does. They really are so good.

nonevernotever I like the sound of your plum tart recipe, it sounds similar to one I got from a magazine, but I like the gingernut bit. I love cinnamon, so can easily get on board with a tablespoon

I'm beginning to wonder if I sometimes use more gingernuts :-) that's the trouble with things that have just evolved so you add "enough " of something until it looks right.

I've only ever made it with plums or greenages, but I suspect it might work with nectarines or peaches (with less sugar) or with firm eating apples. It needs to be something that still holds it's shape somewhat when baked.