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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Making coffee in work- non drinker

439 replies

Winchester89 · 14/08/2018 14:59

Right, started a new job couple of months ago. I love it, everyone's really nice. I'm the admin assistant for a small team of 4 other people.
Anyway- I don't drink tea or coffee. Therefore have never offered to make anyone any as I really hate doing it and don't think I should if I'm not also drinking it! Couple of the team made some subtle comments that I've just ignored or laughed off.
So today- my manager is on her way out to a meeting with other team member - mug in hand goes- oh we were just saying we should get you making coffees!
I replied automatically 'not happening' and laughed. And she looked taken aback by it and then carried on to the meeting.
Am I being unreasonable in not wanting to become the tea lady for the team considering I don't even make the stuff for myself!?

OP posts:
Iloveacurry · 14/08/2018 16:19

I think you should only need to make it when they have meetings/visitors.

I’m an admin assistant too, and it’s not our job to keep them watered at their desks throughout the day!

Notmany · 14/08/2018 16:20

pinyata

Pretty sure they will have an "any reasonable management instruction" clause in their contract as most employment contracts do. I'd strongly advise against refuskmg a specific management instruction unless it is dangerous, unethical or illegal - making a brew rarely if ever would qualify in those categories.

pointythings · 14/08/2018 16:21

I think you were a bit sharp, but YANBU. One of our colleagues doesn't have hot drinks and so we never make her one - and do not expect her to make us one. The rest of us just ask our colleagues if we're getting one for ourselves anyway. It shouldn't be an issue.

I don't actually drink tea (other than fruit tea) but I do make a mean cuppa for others... On coffee I'm the office expert and we have a fund for those of us who insist on filter.

TheWickerWoman · 14/08/2018 16:21

The last company I worked for - both of the male Directors would expect us to make drinks for them when they fancied it. Never asked male members of staff to make it, only female.

On the very rare occasion they did make their own they would only offer a couple of their ‘favourite’ staff a drink and leave the others out,

Terribly sexist company... they have the cheek to advertise themselves as a big, modern, move-with-the-times, happy family. Ugh.

LeftRightCentre · 14/08/2018 16:22

Most of us senior folk were making the brews in when we were junior nothing wrong with it.

I'm senior. But you know, junior people in our office as just as busy. I used to use a typewriter back in my day, too, but you know, time's moved on and roles change and expecting someone to waste their time making rounds of hot drinks all day is a ridiculous waste of resources. The juniors of today will be the seniors of tomorrow and I may be facing one of them on the other side of a desk if I get made redundant so less of the 'You, servant, me, master because I had to do like that in my day' has gone a long way for me.

CrispsAndDip · 14/08/2018 16:23

Where I work there is a General admin assistant. Part of her job role is to make hot drinks for everyone.

If you made that remark to me then I would be pissed off and assume you have an attitude.

It is a task requested by the manager after all.

Call me old fashioned but when I start a new job I always go above and beyond to be helpful.

I can see where you are coming from but for the sake of 4 cups of tea now and again, is it worth the hassle?

Childrenofthestones · 14/08/2018 16:24

TodaysFishIsTroutALaCreme

"Make it once so badly they never ask you again?"

Ah, the old teenager trick.😁

Eliza9917 · 14/08/2018 16:26

As a receptionist/admin/pa etc I might expect to organise tea/coffee/biscuits and/or lunch for meetings or for guests/clients when they arrive, but not for other staff as & when.

PinkyprettyDaisyFlowers · 14/08/2018 16:27

I would take it turns with everyone else, speaking as someone who had come in as a new starter to manager, restarted again, and done the same. Team player, manager seen to be happy to do something everyone else is. Makes for a happier team really, so long as everyone is doing it too, although the management might not always be available, and hence not getting the coffees in as often..
You dont want to be THAT person in the team.

OVienna · 14/08/2018 16:27

I wouldn't ask someone who never drank the tea or coffee going around to do this. I think it's a bit weird they asked you. Why can't they just get on it with it themselves and leave you out if it? Maybe they figure you could get yourself a cold drink at the same time I guess but honestly I can't believe they're making an issue out of it.

SlartiAardvark · 14/08/2018 16:30

It is a task requested by the manager after all.

Hah, in the 80's maybe.

My manager would get told where to get off if he asked me for a brew & I'd certainly never ask or expect any of my staff to make one for me.

We're all too highly paid to be somebodies brew bitch....

EthelThePiratesDaughter · 14/08/2018 16:30

If you are going to make yourself a hot drink then it's nice to make one for others whilst you're there.

If you're regularly expected to drop what you are doing and go and make drinks for others when you are not having one yourself, it takes time out of your day that you otherwise would be spending doing something else.

So the question is, is making tea part of the OP's job description or not? If there is any doubt in the matter, perhaps she should say to her manager, "I've noticed that there have been a few comments recently about not making tea and coffee for others and wanted to check whether this is actually something I am expected to do as part of my job. If so, I wasn't aware of it since it wasn't listed in my job description when I applied for the job and has never been expressly made clear to me. If it's not part of my job and it's just that the office culture is to have tea/coffee rounds, I'm afraid it never crossed my mind that I should be taking my turn, since I don't drink hot drinks myself and am probably not very good at making them!"

OliviaStabler · 14/08/2018 16:30

I am just as busy as they are, just doing different things.

More profitable things than the team are doing? Because that is what they will be thinking.

As I said this seems to be an unwritten expectation of the job and you need to think carefully whether you want to upset the applecart at such a nice workplace by refusing completely or if your ego is more important.

I had a colleague who didn't drink tea or coffee, when someone made a round they were asked what they wanted and they said water, orange juice etc. No one would dream of not asking them what they wanted.

Zoosie · 14/08/2018 16:33

Do not become the tea maker!

Definitely not!

If I were you I would absolutely not be apologising, you’ve said nothing wrong!

EthelThePiratesDaughter · 14/08/2018 16:35

As I said this seems to be an unwritten expectation of the job and you need to think carefully whether you want to upset the applecart at such a nice workplace by refusing completely or if your ego is more important.

If it is part of her job then this should have been made clear to her when she started the job, either verbally or in writing.

Bollocks to "unwritten expectations".

An unwritten expectation is something that is bloody obvious to everyone, like, be polite to people.

OctaviaOctober · 14/08/2018 16:38

"Not happening" to your manager?! She didn't ask you to jump off the top of the Shard, she asked you to put the kettle on every now and then!

I'm not a tea or coffee drinker, but I regularly offer to make it. Presumably you get up to get a soft drink/refresh your water bottle/go to the loo? You can take a turn then occasionally. It's just polite.

user1467718508 · 14/08/2018 16:38

Sadly, senior management can often be pig-headed and short-sighted enough to treat juniors like their run-around, and it only hurts the business in the long run.

Dropping actual work to make a round of teas 4, or 5 times per day will ultimately damage OP's status within the team, lower her own morale, and probably shorten her long-term commitment to the job.

And all for what, a bit of d*ck swinging power play from management?

So old-fashioned it's laughable.

Petalflowers · 14/08/2018 16:38

Imdon’t Routinely drink tea or coffee either, but when I go and get myself a glass of water, I will ask others if they want a drink. every one takes turn, so,if you fancy a drink yourself, then you usually offer one to the people in the office.

TornFromTheInside · 14/08/2018 16:39

Anybody fancy a cuppa?

+ducks+

OliviaStabler · 14/08/2018 16:41

If it is part of her job then this should have been made clear to her when she started the job, either verbally or in writing.

Not every single task that someone is expected to do in a role is written down. You might think it is 'bollocks' but you're wrong if you think that making refreshments occasionally is not expected from junior support staff.

The team have been trying to raise the issue with the hints etc just that OP has immediately dismissed them as she does not want to do it.

morningconstitutional2017 · 14/08/2018 16:41

At an interview I was once told that we all were expected to take turns to make the drinks. It was thought that everyone would simply do so. Times have changed though. Usually the 'lowliest' gets lumbered with the job whether they like it or not. You might be openly accused of having an 'attitude problem' if you don't co-operate. I wonder if the person who did the job before you went along with it.

wafflyversatile · 14/08/2018 16:42

Having said fuck 'em, now that the manager has made a pointed (while attempting to make light) comment about you making tea, that shows she's either noticed herself or had something said to her about you, then you might have to handle things a bit carefully.

Maybe ask to speak to her. Explain that you don't drink tea and if it is part of your job, or expected of you to make people tea even if you don't drink it you didn't know that. And you are sorry if you were sharp with her but recently someone had made some snidey comments in front of others , rather than anyone quietly explaining that it is in fact part of your job.

TooTrueToBeGood · 14/08/2018 16:42

If I had a new junior employee who wasn't willing to undertake reasonable managerial instructions then they are on thin ice.

If you think expecting a junior member of staff to skivvy for you counts as a reasonable managerial instruction then you are not a reasonable manager.

runningkeenster · 14/08/2018 16:50

I don't drink hot drinks in the office (have a coffee at home) although occasionally one of my colleagues makes me tea - I usually say I don't want one though. I only drink water. Someone said above that if you are getting yourself water you should ask others what they want. But getting a glass of water takes seconds. If I have to start making hot drinks for everyone it will take ages. And I drink a lot of water.

But in the OP's case it sounds like it's expected.

user1467718508 · 14/08/2018 16:54

If you think expecting a junior member of staff to skivvy for you counts as a reasonable managerial instruction then you are not a reasonable manager.
^^
THIS.