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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Making coffee in work- non drinker

439 replies

Winchester89 · 14/08/2018 14:59

Right, started a new job couple of months ago. I love it, everyone's really nice. I'm the admin assistant for a small team of 4 other people.
Anyway- I don't drink tea or coffee. Therefore have never offered to make anyone any as I really hate doing it and don't think I should if I'm not also drinking it! Couple of the team made some subtle comments that I've just ignored or laughed off.
So today- my manager is on her way out to a meeting with other team member - mug in hand goes- oh we were just saying we should get you making coffees!
I replied automatically 'not happening' and laughed. And she looked taken aback by it and then carried on to the meeting.
Am I being unreasonable in not wanting to become the tea lady for the team considering I don't even make the stuff for myself!?

OP posts:
itallhappensforareason · 14/08/2018 16:04

YANBU. I do drink tea and coffee but never drink it at work. Everyone else in the office drink it a lot and probably have 1 every hour. I never make them. I agree you shouldn't if you're not partaking in the drinking!!

SaoirseTheSeahorse · 14/08/2018 16:04

As a receptionist I did make teas and coffees. As an admin, no I didn’t. As you say, you are just as busy, but with different things.

TooTrueToBeGood · 14/08/2018 16:04

Maybe but you'd be hard pushed to find an employment tribunal that found that someone requesting an admin assistant to make one round of drinks as unreasonable.

Really? You honestly think a tribunal would look favourably on an employer who sacked someone for declining to make a cup of tea? Are you posting from Dickensian London?

JustBeenNosey · 14/08/2018 16:05

YANBU.. I don't drink tea or coffee and wouldn't not be making tea or coffee for other people at work. Or even at home😂

dudsville · 14/08/2018 16:06

You dealt with it v well op.

user1467718508 · 14/08/2018 16:07

Hmm My guess is that the last admin assistant ran around making teas without question, and they're collectively trying to pressure you into picking it up.

It might be worth a casual chat with your LM about it though...if it's repeatedly cropping up, you'd be within your rights to ask for clarification of what's expected of you.

If it actually fell within your remit, your LM would have sat you down and talked about it properly, not dropped snide comments under the guise of being jokey.

polkadotpixie · 14/08/2018 16:07

YANBU

I don't drink tea or coffee either and so don't get involved in the making

LeftRightCentre · 14/08/2018 16:08

It's 2018 and people are still expecting others to make them a fucking hot drink. YANBU. Wish this stupid archaic notion would die, such Downton Abbey Upstairs Downtairs bollocks!

LeighaJ · 14/08/2018 16:09

"TodaysFishIsTroutALaCreme

Make it once so badly they never ask you again?"

^This. Make it exceedingly strong so no amount of sugar or milk can make it taste good. Then just shrug if they complain that you never drink coffee or tea so you just winged it.

usernotfound0000 · 14/08/2018 16:11

I find it a very bizarre concept of making drinks in rounds - how does everyone always want a drink at the same time? I tend to have 2 cups a day whereas someone else in my office has about 8! We just go and make our own drinks as and when we want one and it works fine. And someone commented that PAs make drinks - not where I work, I have been one for 10 years and never once been asked to make my boss a drink! For meetings etc fair enough, I would arrange facilities but I wouldn't go in there and pour the drinks - is it the 80s still?!

TheWickerWoman · 14/08/2018 16:11

No way, you’re not being unreasonable if you’re never in the round. Why on earth would they expect you to still make them drinks?!

I’m dying to know how this one pans out.

Notmany · 14/08/2018 16:11

toogoodtobetrue

In the first 2 years in doesn't matter unless it is discrimination against a protected characteristic.

I've employed people who haven't turned out as hoped or have been difficult to work with and so have let them go in this period and there is legal requirement to detail a reason.

If I had a new junior employee who wasn't willing to undertake reasonable managerial instructions then they are on thin ice.

ShumpaLumpa · 14/08/2018 16:12

^ Don't do this, they'll offer to come with you and show you how they make it and how long you should leave teabag in the mug. They're not stupid.

Aveenobrazeeno · 14/08/2018 16:12

I don't drink tea or coffee, plus the smell of coffee makes me gag, so I never offer to make it for others. They're not getting me a glass of water, so why should I? I've got enough to be getting on with.

ShumpaLumpa · 14/08/2018 16:12

^ To LeighaJ

CoolGirlsNeverGetAngry · 14/08/2018 16:13

Came here to share that FT article as well. I’m not sure about this one. I think if they’re expecting the OP to make tea they should have expressly outlined that from day one when going over the role. It’s a bit shit for people to make comments to the OP when it’s not clear.

MrsPreston11 · 14/08/2018 16:14

We have 1 non tea/coffee drinker in our team.

I never expect him to make me a drink, nor does anyone else, and after a few days we agreed we'd stop offering and he is to tell us if ever he starts drinking hot drinks.

The rest of us give a shout if we're getting up to the put the kettle on and tends to be pretty evenly split as to who's making.

TornFromTheInside · 14/08/2018 16:14

I don't think the 'rounds' work quite so formally - and depends on the office environment. Many offices have specific break times, and others are much more flexible.

Whenever I've seen it, it's simply been a group of friends who'll either be going to the coffee machine and ask 'anybody want one while I'm going?' or they'll be doing the same at the kitchen. But then next time, someone else will do that - i.e. share the burden. I think that is what is meant by 'doing it in a round'

Winterbella · 14/08/2018 16:15

You see, I regularly ask others and they ask me if anyone wants anything from the kitchen, doesn't matter what it is we just get it I don't see the need to cause tension, especially as you've only been there a short while why pick a fight.

TornFromTheInside · 14/08/2018 16:15

Cross post with MrsPreston11 - yep, that's how I've known it work.

ShumpaLumpa · 14/08/2018 16:15

If you were a male admin assistant I'm sure they wouldn't expect you to make tea and coffee!

It pisses me off that women are always expected to do these things in the workplace.

^^ I agree.

People who think men are expected to do these menial tasks as often as women (in similar roles) are kidding themselves.

pinyata · 14/08/2018 16:17

No unless stated in your job description that you would need to make teas and coffees don't do.

I would make a cup for an upset/not well/stressed college but your not the tea lady.

Notmany · 14/08/2018 16:18

Stupid phone I meant "no legal requirement".

wafflyversatile · 14/08/2018 16:18

Do they have precisely 2 cups of tea in the morning and 2 in the afternoon? Are you putting the system out of sync?

How far away is the kitchen? If you have to go down two floors to get a glass of water then maybe you should offer teas as you're going down there.

However if the kitchen is close by so the main part of the job is actually making the tea and delivering it then fuck 'em. They only have to make 3 teas instead of 4, and you don't have to make anyone tea.

ShumpaLumpa · 14/08/2018 16:18

You see, I regularly ask others and they ask me if anyone wants anything from the kitchen, doesn't matter what it is we just get it I don't see the need to cause tension, especially as you've only been there a short while why pick a fight.

But Winterbella, no one offers to bring OP a water or juice.

And bear in mind the manager has told the OP 'we were just saying we should get you making coffees'. They want to make it a regular thing.

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