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AIBU?

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Original poster

Making coffee in work- non drinker

439 replies

Winchester89 · 14/08/2018 14:59

Right, started a new job couple of months ago. I love it, everyone's really nice. I'm the admin assistant for a small team of 4 other people.
Anyway- I don't drink tea or coffee. Therefore have never offered to make anyone any as I really hate doing it and don't think I should if I'm not also drinking it! Couple of the team made some subtle comments that I've just ignored or laughed off.
So today- my manager is on her way out to a meeting with other team member - mug in hand goes- oh we were just saying we should get you making coffees!
I replied automatically 'not happening' and laughed. And she looked taken aback by it and then carried on to the meeting.
Am I being unreasonable in not wanting to become the tea lady for the team considering I don't even make the stuff for myself!?

OP posts:
LeftRightCentre · 14/08/2018 16:55

More profitable things than the team are doing? Because that is what they will be thinking.

It's a total waste of profitable time to be making rounds and sipping bloody hot drinks other than at your break time or lunch. I'm so glad I worked in the US for a while and none of these stupid time wasting tea rounds existed. Would have got written up for wasting time jumping up from your desk several times a day to get hot drinks and thankfully, that mentality is finally making its way here. It's like something out of the 1980s. Our office has a machine. You stick your cup under it and press the button. It's rotten, so I bring a flask. But no one is expected to be a tea lady because that's just a waste of time and money.

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 14/08/2018 16:55

I don’t think your response was unreasonable OP. You’ve said you organise tea and biscuits for meetings as part of your job. Making coffees for two people going into a one to one is a bit different and cheeky of her to ask, actually.

What’s more, if your manager had been a man I bet other posters would be queuing up to agree with me.

OliviaStabler · 14/08/2018 16:55

If you think expecting a junior member of staff to skivvy for you counts as a reasonable managerial instruction then you are not a reasonable manager.

A junior support staff member who won't make an occasional round of teas and coffees as they think it is a 'menial' task is in the wrong line of work.

distantstars · 14/08/2018 16:58

Never made my colleagues a drink in the decade I have worked with them and they have never made me one... I cut that crap out on week one, no sodding way am I make 6 cups of tea/coffee/water with milk/no milk/sugar.... they are all well capable of doing them selves! As am I.
And it gives us a chance to have a chat while making drinks together 🤣

You are def not BU!

LeftRightCentre · 14/08/2018 16:59

A junior support staff member who won't make an occasional round of teas and coffees as they think it is a 'menial' task is in the wrong line of work.

It doesn't sound occasional but regular 'we should get you making coffees' very different from getting it ready for visitors. My kids don't drink hot drinks and I've noticed a lot of the young adults today don't so hopefully this silly obsession with getting people to make you a hot drink will go the way of the dinosaurs.

OliviaStabler · 14/08/2018 17:00

It's a total waste of profitable time to be making rounds and sipping bloody hot drinks other than at your break time or lunch

LOL, what break times? Most of the people in my last office worked through their breaks to get the work done.

ShumpaLumpa · 14/08/2018 17:03

I think many people are confusing OP with a PA or intern. I did lots of temporary roles when younger and an admin assistant was never expected to get drinks.

In my PA roles I was more than happy to get drinks for my boss and their visitors.

Now if my boss asked me to get him a drink I would joke 'what did your last slave die of?'

I'm not precious, I do get offer colleagues drinks the rare times I get one for myself and fill up their water bottle, but in OP's case, it's clear that they want to make her the tea lady by stealth.

Cuddlykitten123 · 14/08/2018 17:04

Also a non tea/coffee drinker. Whenever it come up I always say something like 'eugh all tastes like dishwasher to me, not sure you really want to risk me making it Haha'

I guess if they called my bluff i'd just have to do it horribly wrong...

LeftRightCentre · 14/08/2018 17:06

LOL, what break times? Most of the people in my last office worked through their breaks to get the work done.

Then it would be an even bigger waste of money and time to expect another paid employee to make a round of drinks rather than them getting it themselves or bringing it in a flask. Haven't had an admin or PA myself who wasn't busy as a blue-arsed fly, but then, I don't expect other people to skivvy for me just because I had to do junior roles in the 80s.

Original poster
Winchester89 · 14/08/2018 17:07

Just in answer to some questions- the kitchenette is approx 4m away from our desks so there's no going out to the kitchen.

She didn't ask me to make her a tea there and then- I would have if asked in the moment- she said 'we were just saying we should get you making teas'

There was no admin before me it's a new role and the team are all new too.

And these are teas throughout the day whilst sat at desks. As said- I arrange refreshments for meetings when required.
I am not offered water or juice and I've no idea how many the have a day I don't really pay attention.

Anyway- my manager replied saying 'don't be daft - I knew you were joking'
We get on very well otherwise as a team and have a laugh.

OP posts:
wafflyversatile · 14/08/2018 17:12

Except you weren't joking, so was she joking? That is the next question?!......

Original poster
Winchester89 · 14/08/2018 17:12

It is very interesting to see the complete opposite opinions though. I'm almost 30 and don't know if it's an age thing?
However, spoke to my dad before and his response was 'it's not the 1980s' but he is very much a 'be empowered, be independent and don't be afraid to speak your mind' type of person.

OP posts:
Mrsramsayscat · 14/08/2018 17:13

Everybody should be willing to make drinks occasionally, whether they want them or not. On the other hand, young women should not be expected to act as unofficial tea-lady. Especially young women, as often young men are not asked.

ShirleyPhallus · 14/08/2018 17:14

Everybody should be willing to make drinks occasionally, whether they want them or not

Fuck that, absolutely not. When my time is chargeable and I don’t drink much coffee or tea at all I’ll be fucked if I’m getting a round in for all the lazy buggers who can’t be bothered.

Original poster
Winchester89 · 14/08/2018 17:15

@wafflyversatile
Good point- I didn't say I was joking, I just said apologies if I came across rude.
I think she was probably half joking (if that's a thing) half really wants me to make teas. Another comment from other team member once was 'we'll have to get you drinking tea' - why??

OP posts:
JacquesHammer · 14/08/2018 17:15

Fuck that, absolutely not. When my time is chargeable and I don’t drink much coffee or tea at all I’ll be fucked if I’m getting a round in for all the lazy buggers who can’t be bothered

Absolutely.

But that isn’t the case if everyone takes a turn. Far more efficient in fact Grin

OliviaStabler · 14/08/2018 17:15

Then it would be an even bigger waste of money and time to expect another paid employee to make a round of drinks rather than them getting it themselves or bringing it in a flask.

How do you figure that? A Director making themselves a cup of tea cost the business a lot more than a junior staff member taking the same time to make a cup of tea.

Last place I worked was employee owned so I would often offer to make the Director a coffee or tea in the morning even though I was a manager. I'd rather they spent those minutes productively working that faffing about making tea.

ShumpaLumpa · 14/08/2018 17:15

spoke to my dad before and his response was 'it's not the 1980s' but he is very much a 'be empowered, be independent and don't be afraid to speak your mind' type of person.

Your dad sounds ace, OP. Listen to him, not the handmaidens on this thread.

longwayoff · 14/08/2018 17:16

How long is your probationary period OP?

EthelThePiratesDaughter · 14/08/2018 17:17

But that isn’t the case if everyone takes a turn. Far more efficient in fact

It's only efficient for you if four times out if every five someone else makes you a cup of tea rather than you making it for them.

So for someone who would not otherwise be making tea, it's the opposite of efficient.

JacquesHammer · 14/08/2018 17:19

Your dad sounds ace, OP. Listen to him, not the handmaidens on this thread

Handmaiden? I was the boss, I took my turn making drinks Grin

When I was a solicitor I made drinks for my assistant, just as she did for me when she went to the kitchen. It wasn’t a “you’re menial, make my drinks”

Provided it’s a reciprocal agreement it works. Only the OP knows if it is/isn’t.

Mrsramsayscat · 14/08/2018 17:19

I've done it. It's about mucking in and being a team player. It is good for developing work relationships. But not the same as being the dogsbody.

Everyone should be willing to do it, bosses included. Though possibly not expected quite as often for people in wall to wall meetings (in some sectors).

BlairWaldorfsHeadband · 14/08/2018 17:19

I hate tea and coffee and absolutely wouldn’t make them.

Mrsramsayscat · 14/08/2018 17:21

And quite frankly very junior people who show unwilling to take even a turn do not make a good impression. Any more than senior people who think it beneath them. I've observed that as true, whether palatable or not.,

Original poster
Winchester89 · 14/08/2018 17:22

@JacquesHammer
It's not reciprocal as I've said, I don't drink it or make drinks so I'm not not offering when I do my own- and they are not offering me when they do mine.

I wouldn't already be making one

OP posts: