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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Driving 102 miles to a destination one day over due.

160 replies

WhatAnAbsolutePenis · 14/08/2018 08:46

And then of course 102 miles hole again.

I'm pregnant and due on Christmas Eve. My Dad is having Christmas at his with my brothers and all their kids and they make it into a huge magical deal that the kids love and the adults have a great time at.

I'm bound to go over due and I want to go.

DH says no. Not because he's worried about the baby coming, but because he wants to use the baby's due date as an excuse to stay home and not see family this year (if we never saw family he would be happy, his own included) or travel anywhere.

I say that being stuck in with two kids arguing over Christmas will be hell, and the kids will be missing out on an amazing day.

Logistically I would pack a bag, and if I went into labour that day then we would have childcare on tap.

Who is BU?

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 14/08/2018 13:25

With DC2 I was designated driver at a family event two hours away
DH was allowed to drink, DC1 was a toddler
and I was 9 days overdue

Is it just me that thinks that's a crazy thing to do at that stage of pregnancy?

Ta1kinpeace · 14/08/2018 13:35

Is it just me that thinks that's a crazy thing to do at that stage of pregnancy?
Why?
I knew that nothing was happening at all ....
Pregnancy is not an illness
Should I have had a "confinement" at the end of my pregnancy?
Or was I allowed to carry on as normal?

Lazypuppy · 14/08/2018 16:11

@Alittleshaderequired not really, my nan was 35 when she had my mum, my mum was 30 when she had me and i was 28 when i had my LO.

And nope, my 'extended family' consists of me, mum, nan, auntie and cousin.

Like i said, everyone is different, i just think you can sit on a beach any day of the year, i personally wouldn't wabt to soend christmas anywhere else

HotblackDesiatoto · 14/08/2018 16:15

I'd go if I were you.

You;re the pregant one, its not for him to decide what you are allowed to do.

LakieLady · 14/08/2018 16:30

I have a friend who didn't manage to get to the hospital 8 miles away when she went into labour. She gave birth in the car parked at the side of the road, just moments before the ambulance arrived.

She jokes now that it was a good idea she didn't decide to walk to the corner shop that morning, and with her third she didn't dare take the dog out for the last 2 weeks for fear of popping him out in the park amidst hordes of drooling labradors.

PrimalLass · 14/08/2018 16:40

Personally I’d ship the eldest kids off to your dads by hook or crook ... Then spend Christmas with DH

Seriously?

lubeybooby · 14/08/2018 16:49

do some stuff yourself (or rather get dh to) to make things magical for your kids

if you go into it thinking it will be boring and shit it will become a self fulfilling prophecy. Time to come up with your own traditions and fun - and you might well have a tiny newborn too (you never know)

IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 14/08/2018 17:03

Who are these weirdos who want to palm their own kids off onto relatives and be without them at Christmas?

OP, if you spend every Christmas doing the big family thing with your dad and relatives, I think it's only fair your dh gets a Christmas of his choosing every so often.

Christmas is what you make it. There's no reason why you can't have a lovely time at home, if you plan for it. Buy pre prepped food, to minimise cooking, esp if you do go into labour. My 3rd baby took about 30 minutes to be born, from first contraction to birth. I wouldn't want to risk being on a motorway at that time.

Youaremysunshine4eva · 14/08/2018 17:08

I would go!

ineedaholidaynow · 14/08/2018 17:42

Sometimes it's nice to have just a small family Christmas. And to be honest if you can't make Christmas Day fun when you have young children, how do you have fun on other days?

Original poster
WhatAnAbsolutePenis · 14/08/2018 17:49

How do you have other fun days

Easy. Stuff that means not being in the house, soft play with the youngest, parks, local farms, swimming, skate parks (eldest) cinemas etc etc

Neither of my kids like being stuck in. And a lot of that stuff is absolutely not feesible on Christmas Day. Hense why we feed the ducks carp on Christmas Day.

Anyway, I'm looking into Christmas Day or Boxing Day at a pub or hotel. I feel much happier with something that gets us out the house and to break up the day(s).

OP posts:
Dreamingofkfc · 14/08/2018 17:55

I'm currently 40+3 with my 3rd so I'd defo say go! You can't put life on hold. Ppl have seemed alarmed to see me out of the house since 35 weeks...as though confinement is appropriate!

MrsSnootyPants2018 · 14/08/2018 18:04

It won't be a boring Christmas. You can do the same things just at home as a family.

JynxaSmoochum · 14/08/2018 18:18

My first was due around Christmas. The nearest family is an hour away so we gave it a miss for the first time as we couldn't commit to going.

It looks like I found pregnancy and birth harder than OP has so far, but sitting for an hour was getting too uncomfortable by my final weeks and my stamina after a EMCS was awful for many weeks. My abdomen was exhausted after a 2-3 hour journey 6 weeks later. It turned out that baby was a few days early and we were discharged just in time for Christmas.

In the end, some friends were wanting a quiet one at home so they decided to cook Christmas Dinner and deliver to us which covered both pre and post birth scenarios and would have meant plenty of leftovers if I was in hospital. It was different to a family Christmas, but enjoyable in its own way.

Stocking up on easy foods, games and films and locally pottering around sounds like the best plan.

Original poster
WhatAnAbsolutePenis · 14/08/2018 18:20

My first was also due before Christmas.

He came on the 4th January.

OP posts:
ineedaholidaynow · 14/08/2018 18:46

If your children are very active a Christmas meal at a pub or hotel might not be much fun for them as they can be quite long winded and unless there is something provided for youngsters to do, it might not be so much fun as being at home for them. I know you want to get out of the house but then expecting children to sit still for a few hours might not be a great alternative.

oldbirdy · 14/08/2018 18:57

My first was 11 days over, second 8 days over. Number 3 came 2 days early and number 4 was 3 weeks early!

Poptart4 · 14/08/2018 20:02

I think its really sad your dreading spending Christmas day with just your hubby and kids. You seem desperate to not be left alone with them 🤔 like its your worst nightmare. Do you actually like your husband and kids?

I get that kids get bored over the 2 weeks but we are talking about 1 or 2 days here. You can have a family Christmas at home and then plan things for the rest of the break.

HoldingOutForAutumn · 14/08/2018 20:12

Were you overdue with both previous DC, OP? I was just thinking maybe you could go up a few days earlier if your dad will have you. Better the odds a bit!

Original poster
WhatAnAbsolutePenis · 14/08/2018 20:15

seem desperate to not be left alone with them 🤔 like its your worst nightmare. Do you actually like your husband and kids?

People, I give you the most Mumsnet comment of all time.
I now hate my husband and children. 😂😂😂

Thanks, that made me chuckle. The bullshit pearl clutching twat waffles of Mumsnet. 😃😃😃

OP posts:
Original poster
WhatAnAbsolutePenis · 14/08/2018 20:16

Holdingout that crosses my mind, but it would just be my step Mum, dad works on call most of Christmas and there would be no brothers and cousins and no presents and meal and games and laughs and all the amazing stuff that comes with it.

OP posts:
HoldingOutForAutumn · 14/08/2018 20:19

Ah no, I meant go up a few days earlier and stay until Christmas? Take them to a few new local places on the days running up. And they can run around in your dad's massive house! The biggest fear is giving birth on the motorway, right? Not going into labour there? So the earlier you do that trip, the less likely.

Original poster
WhatAnAbsolutePenis · 14/08/2018 20:22

Oh I see!

I would be more than happy to do that (I actually very much like that idea) but do you mean DH stay at home? Or DH come with us? It's just that's even worse for DH.

OP posts:
Bluelady · 14/08/2018 20:29

That's not going to work, the kids will hate leaving just as all the fun starts.

Original poster
WhatAnAbsolutePenis · 14/08/2018 20:42

Surely the whole point would be for us to be there on Christmas Day?
I'm a bit lost.

To be honest it wouldn't work anyway, I would worry about driving home on the motor way by myself. An no way will DH come and get us, nor come with us. Both things are the whole reason he doesn't want to come.

OP posts: