AIBU to ask people who don’t respond to invites why you don’t respond?

[IAmADancer]

I know this has been done to death but why if you get an invite to something do you not bother to respond? I don’t understand? Is it so hard to text/email and just say thanks or no thanks. Also why do people not respond and then turn up anyway! It means I have catered for a certain amount of people and then people appear whom I had no idea were coming.
Can anyone answer this for me, I am baffled!

Sometimes we accept and other times, we are just awful at committing to something. Not because we don't want to go but sometimes the logistics are tricky. We would always respond to a wedding / formal invite.

@kirinm but can you not just send a text saying thanks for the invite but we may have something on that date, can I come back to you and confirm. As I said upthread it’s the total lack of acknowledgment that is frustrating

Actually Wilbur, I always reply yes/no by the RSVP date - with the exception of a few lost invites. But I don't get upset when I have to chase people for a firm yes/no the week before I host, it's just something I expect to need to do and not a big deal. We are a more informal culture in general though.

Fair enough Nerfballs, though my comments wouldn't apply to you as you have said you reply by RSVP date.

A friend of mine recently hosted a party for her DS which required payment by a certain date, she paid for the ones who had replied and the ones she had managed to get hold of who hadn't. At the party 4 others turned up, one with a sibling in tow which resulted in a very avoidable embarrassing situation for her. Needn't have happened if people had just had the manners to respond to her invitations. It's always the kids who end up upset too.