Only on MN ...

[cathf]

Not a TAAT as such, but inspired by a response on a thread running at the moment.
It got me thinking of the differences between MN and my RL friends and acquaintances, and things that are accepted wisdom on MN that no-one I know in real life cares about at all.
I will start off:

1. Little girls who wear pink clothing, and gendered clothing in general;
2. Scented sanitary towels;
3. Fruit Shoots
4. People cuddling/touching/talking to your child;

The amount of threads and angst over these topics is staggering, yet no-one I know would even think any of the above were worth discussing, never mind getting worked up about. Anymore?

Another thread has just reminded me...the dreaded 'attention seeking'. Anyone who doesn't want to be ignored all the time and seeks some degree of human interaction is 'attention seeking' and must die. Or at least be passive aggressively stared at until they understand everything you are thinking.

Wondering what 'attention seeking' is? MN examples from real life: using a changing room or communal shower for their intended purpose, exercising too vigorously, hula hooping in an open public space, having a standard wedding, mentioning your pregnancy, wearing something colourful and in any way making eye contact with strangers while talking to your child.

Needless to say, it's only women who ever 'attention seek' because everyone knows that proper ladies sit down, shut up and get married in underpasses. Gotta love all that internalised misogyny, I do realise that it's not really posters' fault that they've been conditioned to the Cinderella complex but I still wish they'd stop fucking doing it.

Fruit bowl on the table is common? Who knew? Where should I keep it?

I can't remember whether it was common to keep it on the table or in the kitchen or what. There wasn't a clear consensus, from what I can recall, despite a lot of people feeling very strongly about it.

MN also taught me that a lot of people consider it 'common' to buy a birthday card designed for a specific relative. So no 'Happy birthday to a wonderful mother/son/granddad' or whatever. I bet these people are real fun at parties.

Fruit bowl on the table is common? Who knew? Where should I keep it?
Is It?
Mine lives on the table, the sideboard or the kitchen worktop depending on what's in it

I'm fairly sure the Queen puts it wherever the fuck she wants.

AynRand pleeeeease can you link that cake smash thread, it sounds hilarious?!

If I can find it I will. It was some time ago...

No one seems to have a normal job or a DH who earns less than 80-100k.

One person is SAHP. No 2 working parents full time on NORMAL salaries . The UK average is around 27k but on here it’s about 80k each !!!! Including those who work PT. holiday budget is also about 10K per annum! I must live in the dregs.

p.s all children go to private school or VERY good state / grammar and get ABB as a MINIMIM at A level !!!!!

Notmorewashing
Or DP is in a high flying job which means I naturally gave up my career for 8 years without the protection of marriage because marriage is just a piece of paper. It just made financial sense for me to leave my career, stay at home, not have my name on the property. I know my DP and we don't need a piece of paper to cement our love.

... 18 months later...

I can't believe that I'm not entitled to any of DP's money as I've been kicked out the house! I looked after our children for years and I've been seeing a solicitor to sort CMS out. He started shagging a 24 year old office junior, theyve been having an affair for a year and now he wants to move her into out house and apparently they're engaged. AIBU to think I should have more of a claim than his latest girlfriend?

@Lalliella There have been quite a few but I think this is the one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2899052-To-hate-this-smashcake-craze

Also everyone must have 3 months salary in savings you are irresponsible if you don’t !! Huge events for all occasions - dinner parties, birthdays “family time” national trust membership, ballet, daughters must a pony or riding. Honestly how the other half live !

@maisypops or it goes the other way where the DH gives the wife ALL of his income into her account no questions and she also goes for coffees while he looks after kids every weekend.

Notmorewashing
And if you go to someone's house, you absolutely must take a gift for the host and a bottle of wine, but as a host you must under no circumstances ask guests to bring anything. The idea of a casual party where people bring drinks and meat for the BBQ is essentially slumming it. People should do fewer social things with fewer friends.

People should actually book a venue not & celebrate things at home

No you don't celebrate anything as an adult. Especially your birthday. Tis vulgar.

Right, I'll take the cake back now.

Only on mumsnet must you not expect anything for Mothers Day from a child too young to purchase anything themselves. All the faux confused, 'but you're not your DH's mother ' replies get tedious.

Actually, the faux confused generally, I would say.
Why are you doing your DP's washing ?
I don't understand why you would give your child fruit juice (especially from concentrate - that's a new one!)
Why does your 14-year-old not have a part-time job ?
I don't understand why your 15-yeay-old does not keep their room tidy. My three-year-old already knows how to help me keep his room tidy
Why would you put crisps in a packed lunch ?
And so on and so on .....

Why would it confuse you that other people are different, cathf?

(Not tinkly. Did not spit tea over keyword or wake anyone)

There's a thread running about Sainsbury's v Morrisons. The op said something about tinned carrots. I actually did a 3-2-1 in my head, sure enough within seconds:

"Who buys tinned carrots?"

Swiftly followed by:

"You can buy a real carrot for 6p 🥕 "
Yes, the picture of the carrot was included.

Maybe the people who buy them like them which is probably why the shop sells them.

This thread should probably be linked into the 'freaked out by Amazon; the internet is listening' thread as evidence that most of us really are quite predictable

Why are you doing your DP's washing confused?

Yes! I always thought it's normal to do all the washing for whoever does the washing. I can't imagine we would be doing our washing separately. I just don't get it and never heard irl anyone do it separately.

I'm also very defensive of strangers touching my dc, or any unwanted (by dc) touching by anyone for that matter because I am trying to instill the idea that their personal space is their own and you don't have to let people into it if you don't want to (and vice versa), medical stuff being the exception.

Teaching consent is best done by example.

BillywigSting yep that’s a normal approach IRL, and a very sensible thing to do. I’d say actually it’s only on MN that people are so heavily invested in the idea that their and other people’s kids should always provide hugs and kisses on demand to anyone who asks for them, and that it’s ‘rude’ to back up a five year old who doesn’t want to kiss a distant relative.

I am convinced that some people just sit behind their keyboards making stuff up, or at least massively stretching the truth. The number of people who say things like "DH brings home 450k a year before bonuses and I bring home 175k for working 2 days a week."

Ok.

Before Mumsnet I never heard of a Mooncup and never heard of anyone using the word 'vulva.'

Don't even start me on the "what have you eaten today?" threads. I have images of people sitting there stuffing down their third Twix, typing "Half a cherry tomato and a spoonful of quinoa. I'll be too full now for dinner but might treat myself to a carrot tomorrow."

When Christmas comes, there will be threads about what people have bought for their children, most of which will consist of people insisting that they have bought each child a pair of socks, a colouring book, a toothbrush and a novel.