Only on MN ...

[cathf]

Not a TAAT as such, but inspired by a response on a thread running at the moment.
It got me thinking of the differences between MN and my RL friends and acquaintances, and things that are accepted wisdom on MN that no-one I know in real life cares about at all.
I will start off:

1. Little girls who wear pink clothing, and gendered clothing in general;
2. Scented sanitary towels;
3. Fruit Shoots
4. People cuddling/touching/talking to your child;

The amount of threads and angst over these topics is staggering, yet no-one I know would even think any of the above were worth discussing, never mind getting worked up about. Anymore?

Yeah, weddings are one of the many things that for some reason get a moral value on MN.

For inexplicable reasons, anyone who has a wedding that is pretty standard by today's reckoning is a shallow materialistic show off who will be divorced in ten minutes flat. Everyone knows that the true measure of a lasting marriage is one that was conducted in an underpass while the guests dined on twigs and canal water. But dear God don't put your fruit bowl on the dining table because that's common as muck, don't yew know.

As an aside - does anyone actually use the word 'common' in that sense any more? I've only ever heard it on MN.

One of many batshit threads that I recall with bewilderment was one about cake smash photo shoots. I was quite new to MN and I honestly thought it would be a fairly even split between 'cute and funny, I like them' and 'messy and wasteful, I don't like them'. Dear God was I naive. Within two pages, anyone who liked them was a common-as-dirt chav with secret scatological fetishes, and anyone who didn't like them was an uptight monster with an eating disorder. There were references to the Hunger Games and Roman vomitoria and the place was just aflame with fucking madness.

I quite like scented sanitary towels

Within two pages, anyone who liked them was a common-as-dirt chav with secret scatological fetishes, and anyone who didn't like them was an uptight monster with an eating disorder. There were references to the Hunger Games and Roman vomitoria and the place was just aflame with fucking madness

Love this

Everyone knows that the true measure of a lasting marriage is one that was conducted in an underpass while the guests dined on twigs and canal water

The last 'we got married in egg-stained vests, ate cold beans out of a can and had change from a fiver but that's because it was all about LOVE' thread did have it's moments. It was like a script from the Four Yorkshiremen by the end.

O lord help me please, what on earth is a cake smash?

Also that 50k a year is not a comfortable annual income for a family

Cake smash = photo shoot in which a baby or very young toddler is given a cake to play around with and the photographer takes shots of them making a mess. Clearly not to everyone's taste, but I honestly hadn't realised it was a Sodom and Gomorrah situation.

It's why I keep coming back to the weirdness of MN moralising all the time about things that simply do not have a moral value.

I quite like scented sanitary towels

If you like them and they don't irritate you, use them. I've seen people claiming that they can detect 'the stench' through your clothes, they are all talking bollocks. If you honestly can do this, join the police as a human sniffer dog. If you can detect the light, vanishing fragrance of a scented sanitary towel through someone's clothing from three feet away, to the point where it irritates you as 'a stench', then there's no way you won't be able to tell when someone's carrying half a kilo of crack in some other orifice. (And why doesn't the smell of the menstrual blood bother you?)

Thanks AynRand. Had no idea.

Everyone knows that the true measure of a lasting marriage is one that was conducted in an underpass while the guests dined on twigs and canal water

Too funny! Love this!

I daresay that the fruit shoot debate is organised along class lines. I think they are pretty broadly rejected by the middle classes.

The vulva v vagina thing is so weird. I don't think I have ever heard the word 'vulva' uttered outside of maybe sex ed in '87.

I quite like scented sanitary towels

If you like them and they don't irritate you, use them. I've seen people claiming that they can detect 'the stench' through your clothes, they are all talking bollocks. If you honestly can do this, join the police as a human sniffer dog. If you can detect the light, vanishing fragrance of a scented sanitary towel through someone's clothing from three feet away, to the point where it irritates you as 'a stench', then there's no way you won't be able to tell when someone's carrying half a kilo of crack in some other orifice. (And why doesn't the smell of the menstrual blood bother you?)

Finally someone talks sense about the stupid scented sanitary towels thing! My Mumsnet hate is the "princess and the pea" syndrome that seems to affect everyone on the internet. Which i guess is what this thread is about

One of many batshit threads that I recall with bewilderment was one about cake smash photo shoots. I was quite new to MN and I honestly thought it would be a fairly even split between 'cute and funny, I like them' and 'messy and wasteful, I don't like them'

Indeed, cake smashes are firmly on the front line of the working class / middle class
Battleground, and generate vitriolic responses as a result.

My Mumsnet hate is the "princess and the pea" syndrome that seems to affect everyone on the internet. Yes this.

What is princess and pea syndrome?

What is princess and pea syndrome?

Surely if you know the fairy story it’s not hard to work out what it is.

“AIBU to think MIL should not have put 20 extra mattresses and a pea on my bed before deciding I could marry her precious son? Just found out about this on family WhatsApp and I’m fumming.”

53rdWay some people can't afford peas, let alone mattresses. You are being unreasonable. Why are you in a family what's app for your in-laws though? Why can't your DH speak to his own family - or is this wife work?

(I would have thought you would have noticed 20 mattresses? Diagram please)

@3littlebunnies, you are so brave, so very very brave! Don’t be surprised if someone rocks up to tell say you are depraved and should turn in your MN membership😂

Only on mumsnet... can you have a blow out & eat chicken & steak and still be considered a “vegan”. because you’re a complete pita who gives proper vegans a bad reputation...

@SecretWitch I’m quite pleased, I’ve never done anything brave or controversial in my life before

I didn’t know about them until after giving birth and spending weeks in the massive surfboard maternity pads. I enjoyed getting the lovely fresh smelling pads out of their packets! It didn’t irritate my stitches or my vulva

@3littlebunnies, well as long as your
vulva is happy...
I, of course, only buy organic non gmo, knitted by fairies pads for my delicate foof

The chicken that feeds a family of 4 for a week

Cat poo the danger

Anatomically correct names for you kids Foo foos

That bastard mil who did my ironing while I was on holiday. Go NC

Dh had 3 beers at a bbq! Well kids night need rushing to hospital! LTB

Had a baby, we have a 6 month ban on visitors. Aibu

Lately the one that has been really vexing me is when posters post for TV series recommendations on streaming services. The OP will ALWAYS state

We only have Netflix so please only Netflix recs

Always At Least One Response Of : X is great, but that's on Prime

Poster says

I have Netflix and Prime

Always at Least One Response Of : We're really into X but it's on Sky, sorry

Poster said recently

I have Netflix, Prime and Sky

TWO people I shit you not replied with series only thus far shown in the States and without a UK broadcaster!

It has to be deliberate cuntery

AAARRRRGHH