Livid with family

[NottWavingButDrowning]

NC for this

I know IANBU but I'm absolutely LIVID right now and need to vent.

I visit my grandparents weekly. This afternoon I was rocking newborn DS to sleep against my shoulder and he had just gone off when guests came to the door and my dog started barking. This doesn’t bother DS and he slept through it as usual.
My grandfather has been told a million times that yelling at the Ddog does not make her stop barking (she has a proper command) but he still yells every time.
As he started shouting this woke DS and hissed at him to shut up.
He’s always been a twat who thinks respect should be automatically granted to him and he’s head of the house so what he says goes. He started shouting at me.
I raised my voice to be hear and told him he’d woken the baby.
He then brandished his walking stick at me saying he’s ignored all day (not true, my grandmother is an enabler and is forever running about after him despite her disabilities) and then told to shut up in his own house.
I lost my shit then in front of the visitors (total enablers - “he’s 90”)

After they had left I told him I didn’t care if he was 90 and I didn’t care if no one had spoken to him for a month, if he EVER threatened me while I was holding DS again it would be the last thing he ever did as I’d shove that stick so hard up his arse that he’d be spitting splinters.

Good for you. Age is no excuse to behave like that.

He's 90? Cut him so slack maybe?

Why take your barking dog round there if he shouts at it?

Why do you take your dog there when you know he will just shout at it and ignore what you say?

I don't understand your logic here, it's not OK for someone to threaten you but it's fine for you to threaten someone else with physical maiming.

You sound delightful.

I would have no respect for anyone who hissed at my child to shut up

Because my grandparents like to see my dog, and it's actually their little mongrel that sets mine off, just my girl's bark is louder.

Sorry to hear you've had a rough time OP, but how are the visitors and you DGM 'enabling' your 'D'GF? Are they enabling him to behave as the 'head of the household'? And his despotic traits?

He shouldn’t have shouted but you also shouldn’t have told your 90 year-old grandfather to shut up.

Don’t take your dog again.

Forgive and love on, he won’t have too long left I imagine.

Name change fail OP?

Your grandfather was in the wrong.

However, why on earth do you continue taking your dog round there? Does your dog bark every time he's there? If so, perhaps you need to work on your dog's behaviour too.

How did you 'lose your shit' in front of the visitors?

@elephantoverthehill they excuse his behaviour every time. Have done for years

I think you were BU. Your dog woke your child and you had a go at an old bloke for it.

Well, just stop visiting at nap time. You sound a bit highly strung. Also, leave the dog at home? Or is this an overnight visit. You're a guest and had no right to dictate and shout about.

Sounds like an average family get together at mine !

The gf is is in the wrong but why is your dog there? Is it your house or the gf's?

If the dog has as command to bake her stop barking, why didn't you use it? If you don't like your grandfather shouting at your dog, don't take the dog to his house. Who cares if they like to see the dog?

Sorry but you're one of those dog comes everywhere people aren't you.

If anyone hold me to "shut up" in my own home, I'd be livid

I can't believe ever even thinking of speaking like that to my grandparents

YABU

It’s not nice what he did.
But he’s 90 come on.

YABU

Don't take your dog if you can't stop
Them barking - and YABU for speaking to your gf like that...

You're both wrong. If the dog barks and it annoys him then you shouldn't bring the dog. He shouldn't shout but you shouldn't tell him to shut up in his own house.

Why couldn't you just say "oh grandad the baby has woken up now, if dog barks again just say shush (or whatever your special command is" shut up is a bit harsh

He sounds very unpleasant but I think your response was terrible. I don’t think you should ‘loose your shit’ in front of the visitors or when you are holding your baby....actually I don’t think there are very many occasions when ‘loosing your shit’ is a good choice.

Maybe you feel better now but I doubt anything will change. He doesn5 sound like the type of person who would take kindly to being shouted at even if he did deserve it. I hope he isn’t the type to take it out on his wife.