Livid with family

[NottWavingButDrowning]

NC for this

I know IANBU but I'm absolutely LIVID right now and need to vent.

I visit my grandparents weekly. This afternoon I was rocking newborn DS to sleep against my shoulder and he had just gone off when guests came to the door and my dog started barking. This doesn’t bother DS and he slept through it as usual.
My grandfather has been told a million times that yelling at the Ddog does not make her stop barking (she has a proper command) but he still yells every time.
As he started shouting this woke DS and hissed at him to shut up.
He’s always been a twat who thinks respect should be automatically granted to him and he’s head of the house so what he says goes. He started shouting at me.
I raised my voice to be hear and told him he’d woken the baby.
He then brandished his walking stick at me saying he’s ignored all day (not true, my grandmother is an enabler and is forever running about after him despite her disabilities) and then told to shut up in his own house.
I lost my shit then in front of the visitors (total enablers - “he’s 90”)

After they had left I told him I didn’t care if he was 90 and I didn’t care if no one had spoken to him for a month, if he EVER threatened me while I was holding DS again it would be the last thing he ever did as I’d shove that stick so hard up his arse that he’d be spitting splinters.

After they had left I told him I didn’t care if he was 90 and I didn’t care if no one had spoken to him for a month, if he EVER threatened me while I was holding DS again it would be the last thing he ever did as I’d shove that stick so hard up his arse that he’d be spitting splinters

Charming.

He is 90 I think you probably know he wasn't going to attack you with his walking stick.

Sorry I meant lose not loose 😕

Namechange fail OP and horrible for you to call their dog a ‘little mongrel’ and accuse it of setting your dog off when you’re the one choosing to bring your dog into the other’s home.

Your GF doesn’t sound very nice but then neither were the horrible threats you said in response so tbh it just sounds like you’re all an incredibly aggro family. You could both do with learning to de-escalate.

You sound charming..

I must be reading a different thread I think you did the right thing, obviously not ideal but he threatened you with his stick. As for "cut him some slack he's 90" - oh ok then, what else do we let 90 year olds off with? Don't worry about grandad hitting you with a stick he's just a daft old cove?

Don't go there again with dog or baby.

You take your dog to your grandparents house even though you know your 90 year old grandfather yells at the dog?

Then, when your 90 year old grandfather does what you know he will do and DS wakes up, you tell him you'll rip him a new arsehole?

If the above is correct ( ie if I haven't got the wrong end of the stick (!) ) you are DEFINITELY BEING UNREASONABLE

In fact, you are being horrible

Why do people post "I know IANBU" in AIBU?

I loathe barking dogs so have some sympathy with him. Next time leave your dog at home. I wouldn't allow a dog in my house.

You told him to shut up?!

I think from previous posts dog has behaviour issues?

Gosh you sound very alike op. Both nasty tempered and both violent and unpleasant.

You both need to model better behaviour to your child

Are you sure he was really "brandishing his stick" at you and the DC and not just kind of waving it about eccentrically? TBH it sounds like you both need a lie down in a dark room.

If their dog annoys your dog then stop taking your dog to their dog's home every week. If they like to see it then take it every now and again.

If someone told me to shut up in my own home then the issue with the dog would be a non one as they'd not be welcome back.

And how embarassing for your grandparents for them to have your barking dog and then you rudely telling your grandfather to 'shut up' in front of their guests.

Wow, at 90 I'd like to think I'd some respect from people

If you've told your gf a million times that shouting doesn't shut your dog up then he must have had cause to shout at it a million times.
This does not fit with him liking to see your dog. It sounds like he's fed up to the back teeth of your barking dog.

Don't take your dog when you visit, and then it can't annoy him with its barking. I'm surprised it's taken you a million times to learn this.

I'm shocked at the people excusing his behaviour because he's 90. So that makes it ok to be aggressive to op while holding her newborn? It's amazing how ingrained male privilege is in our society.

Maybe kicking off like you did wasn't great. But I'd probs have lost it too. If he's so awful why do you continue to see them so often?

Your grandparent shouldn't have behaved the way he did.
Leave your dog at home and make your visits to them much briefer.

Meh. I don't think you were being unreasonable.

Having utter bastards in my family who were always excused or bowed down to as head of family has made value actions over status.

And just because someone is old, it does t mean they aren't a shit and everyone should tolerate their behaviour.

I suspect this has been a very long time coming. I think most people will think you were BU but I don't.

I didn't see my GP after some of their nasty shenanigans following a family death. And I certainly wouldn't have introduced them to my kids.

Is this a trial run for your appearance on Jeremy Kyle?

@Bluntness100

Actually we don't know he wasn't going to wallop her with the stick. Maybe he had a history of being physically abusive.

A good friend of mine used to be hit by her dad - even as an adult. Only stopped when she 'lost her shit'

Some families have very unpleasant elderly matriarchs/patriarchs who continue to act out to adult children. And no-one stops them because it is so deeply engrained in their upbringing.

Gosh you sound very alike op. Both nasty tempered and both violent and unpleasant

Yes, agree.

It's got fuck all to do with male privilege.

You don't bring her annoying dog to someone's house, then get annoyed because a 90 year old is annoyed by said annoying dog, then tell the 90 year old home owner to shut up in his home in front of his guests, then threaten to shove a walking stick up his arse.

Do you?

I'm sorry but I am absolutely fuckung cracking up over "shitting splinters"