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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

SIL has not vaccinated my nieces

999 replies

Pittcuecothecookbook · 12/08/2018 19:49

My baby has been booked in for her vaccinations soon. I asked my sister in law, who has primary school aged kids, about the experience and I was flabbergasted when she said she didn't get their jabs. I can't quite believe it!

When I asked why, she said the risks outweighed the pros but she struggled to articulate what the risks were beyond 'potential death'. I said that that was also the downside of not getting the jabs too! She said she was persuaded when her friend said that the jabs couldn't be undone if her kids had a reaction.

AIBU to be shocked and quite disappointed about this? I'm not looking forward to it by any means, but the eradication of many awful diseases and protection against those still prevalent is surely a non negotiable?

When her kids don't get these diseases, she'll be vindicated but that will likely be because the majority have had their jabs rather than proving jabs were unnecessary.

I imagine I'll get over this - my child will be protected - but I'm just Shock at hearing this news.

OP posts:
MairyHole · 15/08/2018 17:59

Quibbled those who suffer adverse side effects sue the government. Probably get a lot more from them than a child could get from their parents!

I don't think it is beyond the realms of possibility that someone could sue, but probably more likely to be successful in the US than here I would have thought.

StarUtopia · 15/08/2018 18:34

star classic case of you really should rtft - that point has been argued already. Personally (and quite a few agree) I think it IS op's business -

1 because her child is directly affected

2 because it's EVERYONE's business!

To the numpty who wrote this to me...I shall reply. I don't need to read the thread. It's completely none of her business. Or yours for that matter.

I would much much rather take the risk of measles (often a mild illness along the lines of chickenpox - but yes, both of them can be more serious and both of them can cause death) than give my child the MMR. You cannot undo a vaccine than can cause serious lifelong implications.

Do you all honestly believe that it's just a coincidence that we have huge numbers of autistic children now? Huge numbers. Bullsht to being better diagnosed. We are literally poisoning our children. MOST* children can take the poisons without reaction, but if you think I"m going to risk that just to keep other people happy, you can think again.

A strong immune system, a healthy diet and healthy living is far more beneficial to ward off disease and to fight infections.

Fieryginger I"m so sorry to hear about your son. I'm also sorry you've had to read the nonsense in this thread. My brother is also one of the affected and its worth remembering to those reading this that most 'anti vaxxers' (I would rather say pro choice) were probably once pro vaccine themselves before they saw the awful consequences.

MN is unbelievably biased on this topic and woe betide anyone who questions the safety of vaccines.

On the original point though from the OP, I don't need to read the thread. IT is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

Cathmidston · 15/08/2018 18:45

Hear hear Star Flowers

BlaaBlaaBlaa · 15/08/2018 19:07

@star MMR does NOT cause autism. Stop peddling dangerous misinformation

Graphista · 15/08/2018 19:14

"I see the argument is being given that smallpox was erradicated by the vaccine, therefore every vaccine is good."

That is NOT what was said. What was said was look at this as an example of the good vaccines CAN do.

Blaablaablaa - I think cath is actually very well aware of the source of the "info" she's referencing, and is being deliberately disingenuous in claiming not to be.

Sue - if vaccines even just didn't work what POSSIBLE negative agenda would the govt have in providing and supporting them? What's the bias motivated by?

Sadly it sounds like you've had an experience of an extremely corrupt govt which I can well understand colouring your view. We have our moans about uk govt but for the most part, whatever colour banner, they generally have the populations best interests at heart - they just disagree on what the interests are slightly and how to achieve that.

John Bishop (staunch socialist) was on last leg last week and a story about him ending up doing shots with Cameron came up! He said something like, it suddenly occurred to him that people like Cameron aren't deliberately setting out to hurt people, but that they just don't have the personal experience of govt policy seriously damaging their or their loved ones lives. They're genuinely ignorant to it (but don't realise they are).

You say English is not your first language - but that was only mentioned when what you were saying was challenged. And to be honest as mn themselves say - people aren't always who they claim to be, anyone on here can claim to be a bio-chemist or immunologist or whatever, you've certainly taken long enough to mention it! From my own real life experience I'd be VERY surprised to come across a bonafide traditional scientist who is anti-vax (and that includes scientists/medics from non-English speaking countries).

"I am not for or against vaccinations" I find that EXTREMELY hard to believe particularly given you're posting on THIS thread and what you've posted.

"One thing that has not been mentioned is the more we vaccinate as prevention the more chances of other diseases gaining strength." I have NEVER seen or heard of any evidence of that.

"We already have to combat variants yearly of the flu virus meaning this years vaccine is not the same as last years and so on.
We already see antibiotics having little and no effect in many many cases from over use." Nothing to do with vaccination or 'over use' flu has always mutated regularly - it's why even historically there were times when flu was more dangerous than at others eg Spanish flu. The time I almost died of pneumonia was due to me contracting - pre vaccinations being widely used - a worse than usual flu that was going about.

Vaccinations are also not directly related to our over-cleanliness (which as an OCD sufferer I am well aware of the arguments surrounding this).

"Those are all false analogies, a common rhetorical device known as the slippery slope argument." Or reductio ad absurdum - because it IS absurd!

The debate is that the lady thinks she can tell her sister in law what to do and think it’s that simple.

No the op said NOTHING about op forcing sil to vaccinate! The op asked "Aibu to be shocked and disappointed?" To which most of us answered no, but sadly there are daft people who don't vaccinate cos they've been suckered and scaremongered into believing conspiracy theories and junk science! Op then asked about how to keep her own DC safe due to this knowledge - perfectly reasonable question, not rtft again but I don't think ANYONE said "make your sil vaccinate her kids!"

MairyHole - the nhs website is pretty poorly written generally. The info is usually good but fuck knows what level of education the actual writers are!

I agree - cath and sue are FAR from unbiased.

FieryGinger - while I and I'm sure others are deeply sorry your son is so badly affected by his autism, I'm also very sorry that you lost your other child. However, it's really very highly unlikely vaccination caused it. In addition children who are unvaccinated can sustain extreme brain damage as a result of illnesses like measles. It is not the mild, relatively harmless disease it's seen as by many in a country where most vaccinate and so the more extreme results of unrestrained measles aren't seen or experienced. Again, I am very sorry for your families difficulties. Personally I believe having done some reading on autism (but by no means would claim to be an expert) that we will find in the future the cause is environmental. Eg There's some evidence that it's possibly linked to air pollution or other types of pollution. But that's a whole other debate.

"who time and time again have been found against in courts for suppressing relevant adverse information?" They're hardly going to be taken to court the times they get it right are they?! Which the vast majority of the time they do! If you're going to take the profit argument, no pharmaceutical company who's products are even just ineffective would last long! Let alone one repeatedly proven to be doing harm! Govts are customers too, if they found they were buying products from pharma companies and those products were ineffective or harmful they'd take their money elsewhere!

"I actually have wondered for while if in a few years time, given the blame culture we live in, we see a wave of children suing their own parents for not vaccinating them and them then contracting measles/mumps etc" perhaps not uk so much, but I can see this happening in litigious cultures like USA, probably start in the next few years as the children due to be vaccinated around the time of the mmr controversy reach age of majority and can enlist their own lawyers. Won't be surprised if there's soon if not already, less scrupulous lawyers advertising their services on this basis.

Quibbled vaccine damaged people or their families can already apply to uk govt for compensation.

Star I wrote that and I don't appreciate the unnecessary name calling for giving my opinion (to which I am entitled even if you disagree) and summarising what had been said numerous times on the thread.

I do think (again my opinion) that particularly with such heated, nuanced and emotive debates it is arrogant and ignorant to not rtft before commenting.

"I would much much rather take the risk of measles (often a mild illness along the lines of chickenpox" that's not true, pre-vaccination programmes it was often much more severe, and can result in disablement including brain damage. Prior to vaccination programmes mortality rates were around 10% I believe the mmr mortality rate is 1-2 deaths per MILLION I think WHO Figures.

"Do you all honestly believe that it's just a coincidence that we have huge numbers of autistic children now? Huge numbers." No, I believe personally it's a combination of improved dx/awareness (not least because thankfully we no longer institutionalise the mentally ill or those with learning difficulties JUST for that reason) and another cause, possibly more than one, which we haven't as yet identified. The mmr vaccine was investigated as a possible cause and those studies found it not to be the case.

"A strong immune system, a healthy diet and healthy living is far more beneficial to ward off disease and to fight infections." That may work for many minor infections but not for more serious ones. And very few people actually live a healthy lifestyle.

Even if someone truly believes the mmr is dangerous, there are alternatives eg single vaccination.

I'm very sorry for your brothers difficulties but numerous studies show it's NOT related to mmr.

YouCantStopTheSignal · 15/08/2018 19:22

One of my children is autistic. He was very clearly showing signs of autism before he had the MMR.

Vaccines, including the MMR, do not cause autism and your comments show how ignorant you are about the research into this fact. Your comment about people literally poisoning their children is absolute bullshit and implies that you blame parents of disabled children who were vaccinated.

You're an arsehole.

MissSusanSays · 15/08/2018 19:57

Anti-vaxxing is the worst kind of selfishness- it is done through ignorance to other people with no direct effect one the decision maker because they are afraid of making the decision and have decided to push off the consequences on someone else. A perfect score for self centredness.

If you don’t vaccinate your children you are deciding for them and everyone else they come into contact with- other children, those with poor immunity, pregnant women, the old, the sick.

You are essentially a societal ill.

Tistheseason17 · 15/08/2018 20:08

Just RTFT.
Wow.
No words.
Never start a debate with anti vaxxers. It usually ends with insults when they can't answer questions asked.

OP. YANBU to be shocked.

MairyHole · 15/08/2018 20:16

Graphista

The info is usually good but fuck knows what level of education the actual writers are!

---

Pretty well educated but sadly all government departments are told to write at the level of the average reading comprehension in the UK. It's 9 Shock

Graphista · 15/08/2018 20:18

Wow! That's appalling re reading age!

MairyHole · 15/08/2018 20:19

I know! Sorry to derail but it makes me very sad!

Suewiang · 15/08/2018 20:50

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Cathmidston · 15/08/2018 20:59
Grin
Cathmidston · 15/08/2018 21:01

Anyway... more stuff for you guys to ignore while you congratulate yourselves on your superior intelligence. EPMA journal this time....so pure quackery right
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5607155/

MissSusanSays · 15/08/2018 21:02

Selfish

MairyHole · 15/08/2018 21:07

Cath, do you mind answering my question or commenting on the links l provided to you? As I said before I (and numerous other posters) have commented on why we distrust previous links you have posted and then engaged with specific points raised by them too. You have so far not commented on anything I have posted for you. So I will look, but I'd really appreciate it if you would engage in the things I posted too.

For reference, my question was why do you distrust mainstream scientific studies?

MairyHole · 15/08/2018 21:09

Also Graph, do you need some aloe vera for that sick burn from Sue... she really destroyed your arguments there! Wink

Suewiang · 15/08/2018 21:09

A good link cath but as you say the ones that think they know everything will not look.

MissSusanSays · 15/08/2018 21:13

Cathmidston

That study doesn’t say anything we didn’t know: vaccinations are risky for some people (a very small percentage of people) and they should discuss their options with their doctor.

No one is denying this. It is well recognised in the medical community and by posters on this thread.

Stop promoting false narratives that lead to higher mortality in children and permanent disfigurement to adults and children.

I have hearing loss because of preventable childhood illness- I had measles and mumps at a young age before the combined jab was introduced in the U.K. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. I would especially not risk it for my child or anyone else’s child on purpose.

Suewiang · 15/08/2018 21:14

I dont need to destroy an argument she has said nothing that’s of any common sense so far

Suewiang · 15/08/2018 21:18

There just like an ostrich with the head in the sand can’t see me so it can’t be true

MairyHole · 15/08/2018 21:21

Ok, I've had a read. The main point the author wants us to take away is this

"several studies suggest that a vaccine component (inactive viral/bacterial agent or attenuated living microorganism) or a wild superimposed infectious agent can induce autoimmune disease in people with a genetic predisposition "

It gives links to two studies. From a click through, neither of them is at all saying what the study says they do. One describes vaccines as a miracle and suggests that it could be beneficial to develop edible vaccines. I can't see any evidence at all for the statement suggested above. Are you able to shed any light?

MissSusanSays · 15/08/2018 21:22

Suewiang

What do you say to adults like me who’s lives have been impaired by preventable diseases? What will you say to the child of a friend who is disfigured or made very ill by your unvaccinated child? What would you say to your child who falls ill and suffers preventable illness?

I’m not angry with my parents because they didn’t have access to better vaccines. It is not their fault. But it will be yours if you help to spread deadly, disfiguring diseases amongst the populations. It is a selfishness so monumental that I cannot fathom someone decent doing it.

MairyHole · 15/08/2018 21:23

Do try to refrain from ad hominem Sue. It makes it look like you don't have any real arguments.

MissSusanSays · 15/08/2018 21:28

MairyHole

It’s because she’s trying to deflect from people examining her motives for promoting such a selfish and harmful doctrine.

Some people will do anything to stop themselves having to examine their own choices too carefully.

Selfish. Selfish. Selfish.