Visitor ordering only for themselves

[boingbat]

Invited friends round for drinks and dinner. Things were a bit delayed because I was sorting out kids etc. Served dinner, heard a knock at the door my male friend had ordered a takeaway for one and was incensed when we pulled him up on it. AIBU?

Sorry but it really fucks me off if someone invites me for dinner at say 6 and I arrive at 6 but don't get fed until 9! Do not fucking mess with me when I'm hungry!

What SimonBridges? Irish people eat at 9? That's not the norm at all. 6pm for day to day and I'd say 8 for having a dinner party.

I'd like to know what the solution is really.

It's rude to order food.

It's rude to eat befire you get there

It's rude to leave to get a take away

What are people really supoosed to do when they haven't eaten for hours there's no sign of any food they have travelled to get there have drunk so now can't drive home or to get food as they were invited to stay.

And they are in the middle of nowhere or an area they don't know and there's no shops open or within walking distance

If they were there since like 5 or so, dinner was expected about 7, then I would probably order take out after 8 too tbh. If they had lunch as last meal, he must have been starving. I would. And oven chips would not save that.
I don't do well with myself let alone other people when I am famished. I think I actually properly growled at DH once when dinner was delayed because of him.

This reminds me of a time I was asked for dinner @7.30. All but one arrived by 8 but we had to hold on for someone who arrived@9pm! I was 30 weeks pregnant and weak with hunger, having had lunch@12!!

I'd like to know what the solution is really

According to the MN threads I’ve been on about dinner parties and the minefield or etiquette involved and potential to cause offence I’ve reached the conclusion that staying home and getting a takeaway is the solution!

Minefield OF not or

It'd be unusual to invite anyone to dinner at 6, though? Come for 7/7.30 more usual. Then someone's always late. People have drinks and nibbles for, say, an hour? So I'd say 8.30/8.45 was perfectly usual to be served food?

this has got to be a wind up... where have you gone op?

I’ve reached the conclusion that staying home and getting a takeaway is the solution!

That's probably what the guest will do next time 😂

But drinks and nibbles are all part of it and thankfulky these days have moved on from.a bag if cheese football's and twiglets which no one really likes

It's not really normal to turn up and nothing he remotely ready and you have to finish off the kids left overs. I mean seriously how long does it take to brush teeth and put to bed.

It must have been full blown chaos where the kids hadn't eaten or been sorted in any way shape or form that meant dinner was delayed so much

Ah well, at least he left early. With any luck he'll not be back. A takeaway for one in that situation is so petty and childish!

I can't manage to put two kids to bed and offer guests a full sit down dinner without delay. I am really honest about it. If I have people coming over for 7 then the children have eaten at 5:30. The kids need to be asleep by 7pm.

If I have people over then I am really clear that they are welcome but need to amuse themselves during kids bedtime. I also put out proper nibbles and drinks for the guests. Soups, salads and desserts are made in advance and the main meal is a slow cook job that is ready and easy to serve up.

Who are all these people eating supper at 6pm? I’m still in the office at 6pm! We eat between 8-9pm.

I eat between 6 and 7...
It really depends on what was originally planned.
If op said dinner will be 8:30 guest was bu.
If host said dinner will be at 7 host was bu

I never have dinner before 8pm and often much later, anytime up to 9.30. My husband and I are retired, so it's not because of having to get home from work or having children to bath and feed. I couldn't eat as early as 6 pm.

I presume your not a very good cook and he has tastied your food before. Good luck.

Surely supper is a late evening meal and dinner is 6ish

Was his name Craig? I know a Craig with an attitude like that.

Unlike the 'should the host open the bottle of wine I bring to a dinner party' thread, where there is mostly agreement about dinner party etiquette; this thread makes it's clear that it's actually a bit of free for all and there are no rules.

Come at 6 pm and eat chips, turn up and pretend you feel sick 1/2 hour later if you haven't been fed quickly enough, order a takeaway, pass out with hunger at 7 p.m. because you usually eat at 6.45 pm, invite people for a dinner party in the middle of putting the kids to bed, invite people for dinner at 5.00 p.m., and so on.

In 30-odd years of holding and attending dinner parties, we've managed to avoid similar dramas. Just lucky I suppose.

@Zoflorabore - I'd have beaten a path to your door for that menu. A choice of green or brown pot noodles with findus crispy pancakes to follow would be my idea of heaven

He was probably dragged along ‘damn it Craig we only have to go for a couple of hours, you said you were hungry and its free food’ 4 hours later Craig, skeletal is now using the last of his strength to confirm the order with justeat.

Surely supper is a late evening meal and dinner is 6ish hmm

I vaguely remember reading somewhere that "you don't dine before 8"!

Thinking about it, my PILs always eat at 5.30. This has always blown my mind, but each to their own. They will phone at 6.30, concerned they've caught us in the middle of dinner and are then astonished every time when I say DH is still in the office and we don't eat until about 8.30. They'll then phone again at 8.45 and actually catch us having dinner. Drives me mad!

I am in genuine amusement that it is considered more rude to serve a late meal than to order a meal for one to someone else's house! With no warning or discussion? If he feels that at home, why didn't he ask others if they wanted anything, ask the OP if she needed a hand,find out what was going on?