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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be not looking forward to NYC holiday

394 replies

Kakamora · 09/08/2018 11:18

Because of a post I’ve just seen about servers complaining they’ve had a tip that doesn’t reflect what they spent on food.

Yes I know that tips top up their wages but I want to take my mum on some pretty fancy dinners while we’re there and just because I spend $100 dollars which I’ve saved up my minimum wage money for, I don’t see why some server thinks that’s entitles he to a $20 tip because I’m spending a lot of money.

It is annoying me thinking I will have to save around an additional £150 for tip money. Angry I always tip, but I don’t think waitresses here in the U.K. (which I am part time, think that spending £100 you know people have budgeted for warrants an expensive tip

OP posts:
MotsDHeureGoussesRames · 09/08/2018 14:29

Stop being so entitled. If you can't afford to tip, don't eat out.

Don't go to a different country and try to apply UK customs whilst you're there. When in Rome and all that.

Your attitude stinks.

VodkaLimeSoda27 · 09/08/2018 14:32

Also, the English have a reputation here for being lousy tippers and therefore a bit tight. Please try not to undo my good work in dispelling that myth Wink.

Stirner · 09/08/2018 14:35

OPs probably going to come back and say she's entitled to stiff peope out of their wages because Its her "holidayyyyy of a lifeeetimeee" or similar bollocks.

KlutzyDraconequus · 09/08/2018 14:36

I would love to see a waiter chase me down

I'd imagine it'd be quite easy, your over inflated self entitlement and sanctimonious attitude would be slowing you down.

Ericaceae · 09/08/2018 14:36

We were in NYC in the Spring. The food and drink is expensive, but I didn't find it as eye-wateringly expensive as London.
Yes, you have to tip, and yes it's very unreasonable not to do so when it's essentially someone's paypacket. We weren't eating in fancy places, but the servers were lovely and we were never harranged to tip.
Do folk not tip servers at home then? I always tip 10-15% here too.

LAlady · 09/08/2018 14:40

I'm currently on holiday in NYC. It's part and parcel of eating out or drinking. You factor that in when you go to a restaurant or a bar.

pallisers · 09/08/2018 14:43

Having said that, yes, the constant reminder to tip can be annoying

There are plenty of posts on this thread which make it clear why wait staff in tourist areas feel the need to constantly remind.

I can't get my head around someone travelling to a different culture and deciding the one part of it that they will refuse to participate in is the one that will shaft the lowest paid, hardest working people she will meet on the trip. It takes a special person to decide to do that.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 09/08/2018 14:43

I hope I don't follow you into any US restaurants...

Your position is idiotic....
Tipping here and there are different things completely... Here as a nice extra fir good service.. In US its their wages...

If you don't like the system, and won't comply, don't go there and make it difficult for all the other Brits that visit.

DarlingNikita · 09/08/2018 14:44

It’s a really shitty attitude to be showing towards the people who are helping to make your trip really enjoyable.

You can't make a blanket statement about quality of service. I've had some shitty service in the US, some adequate, some pleasant, the odd experience of outstanding service.

Eliza9917 · 09/08/2018 14:53

Why is it a percentage of the bill though? Surely if a waitress brings you a plate of chips or a plate of caviar, they are still carrying a plate and their customer service should be the same?

cheesefield · 09/08/2018 14:55

Going to a country where service charge is not included in the price of the meal and then refusing to pay the service charge is, frankly, an arsehole thing to do.

But it sounds like you intend to go ahead and be an arsehole, so i have no idea why you are bothering to post.

Genevieva · 09/08/2018 14:56

I think forcing waiting staff to rely on tips puts them in a horribly vulnerable position. It is demeaning to be constantly worried about whether your tips will be sufficiently generous to meet your basic living costs.

confuddledconfuddle · 09/08/2018 14:58

Would you care if someone when paying their bill said just deducted whatever you wage equates to for their service time as that is effectively what you are doing!
Like in Spain when buying something in a shop vat gets added on at the till. You don't say no I'm not paying.
You are just paying for everything separately in US instead of in a lump sum like here.

SilverySurfer · 09/08/2018 14:58

You can make yourself look mean and ignorant but I would prefer it not to be reflected on the UK. If you can't abide by the customs of another country perhaps you should cancel and go to Blackpool instead. I'm sure the chippie won't chase you down the street for not leaving a tip Hmm

confuddledconfuddle · 09/08/2018 14:59

Also as a waitress bar tended yourself, I would have expected you to have more compassion.

OliviaStabler · 09/08/2018 15:00

That's obviously not what I meant.

Not how I interpreted your post but apologies that I got it wrong

If the customer decides that the service didn't warrant the expected 20%, isn't that up to them?

If service is bad, you get the manager and have a discreet word at the time. They rely on tips for all staff so the server will soon buck up their ideas or you will get a new server.

I would love to see a waiter chase me down.

It is ignorant people like you who give UK tourists a bad name Sad You go on holiday but do not respect the customs of the place you are traveling to. Wait staff earn pittance in the USA and rely on tips to pay their bills. It does not matter that you 'don't like tipping' or that 'tips should be included in the food bill'; that isn't the way it is out there. If you can't afford the tip, don't eat out.

pallisers · 09/08/2018 15:08

I think forcing waiting staff to rely on tips puts them in a horribly vulnerable position. It is demeaning to be constantly worried about whether your tips will be sufficiently generous to meet your basic living costs.

There is a lot of chat in the US right now about changing the system so it is fairer. But for wait staff in restaurants where everyone knows the score, it isn't all that precarious. I don't know anyone in the US who would dream of stiffing a waiter of her tip.

BewareOfDragons · 09/08/2018 15:08

My server friends used to HATE it when people from the UK came to eat in their restaurants ... reputation for not tipping properly or at all was well known ... and frequently on display.

LaurieMarlow · 09/08/2018 15:08

It's shitty not to tip there. It's how the restaurant economy works.

It's stupid to let it ruin your holiday. NYC is an amazing place and I've never eaten better than there, ranging from cheap to super expensive.

trojanpony · 09/08/2018 15:10

Christ - it’s service charge, it’s standard.
They put 12.5 to 15% as standard in most decent London restaurants anyway.

If you are willing to spend $100 per head, just go somewhere that costs about $80per head.
If you are looking to spend $100 for both of you, you’ll probably struggle to eat anywhere much better than Olive Garden unless you get creative.
NYC is expensive! A sandwich in pret is $10

butterry · 09/08/2018 15:12

I understand you are a waitress in the UK buy it doesn’t matter what the tip culture is in the UK because it’s a different system in the US. That’s a fact that wont change. Servers get paid around £2/hr and are taxed based on their expected tips. Essentially if you don’t tip properly they make a loss on serving you! It may not appear to be a fair system but that’s the way it is and you need to respect that if you plan on visiting.
NYC is one of the more expensive cities and so tips are expected as a min of 20%. Anything lower is an insult. You need to budget the 20% into your meal choices. There are plenty of places to eat really well for cheaper than the UK.

diddl · 09/08/2018 15:12

"If service is bad, you get the manager and have a discreet word at the time. "

Now that's something I wouldn't have known & would have thought it ok to pay less than expected for poor sevice.

Everyday's a schoolday!

middleagedalready · 09/08/2018 15:17

I used to hate the idea of having to tip as I thought it was a voluntary add on for a job well done and I found the maths stressful. However it isn't the same system as the UK, it has the same name but a totally different purpose. If you don't agree with it don't travel there pick somewhere else.

Stupomax · 09/08/2018 15:19

There is a lot of chat in the US right now about changing the system so it is fairer. But for wait staff in restaurants where everyone knows the score, it isn't all that precarious. I don't know anyone in the US who would dream of stiffing a waiter of her tip.

Right - actually at the moment wait staff tend to take home more per hour than the kitchen staff.

MrsSteptoe · 09/08/2018 15:20

I'm sorry that your expectations are disappointed, but travellers have a responsibility to understand local customs, not assume that they can impose the conditions that prevail in their native country on the workers in the holiday destination.

We've just come back from California, and found that food was much more expensive than we expected. Nonetheless, we didn't fuck over the staff who served us.

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