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Original poster

To be not looking forward to NYC holiday

394 replies

Kakamora · 09/08/2018 11:18

Because of a post I’ve just seen about servers complaining they’ve had a tip that doesn’t reflect what they spent on food.

Yes I know that tips top up their wages but I want to take my mum on some pretty fancy dinners while we’re there and just because I spend $100 dollars which I’ve saved up my minimum wage money for, I don’t see why some server thinks that’s entitles he to a $20 tip because I’m spending a lot of money.

It is annoying me thinking I will have to save around an additional £150 for tip money. Angry I always tip, but I don’t think waitresses here in the U.K. (which I am part time, think that spending £100 you know people have budgeted for warrants an expensive tip

OP posts:
m00rfarm · 09/08/2018 12:07

I was in NYC maybe 20 years ago - someone left the restaurant, clearly having left a small tip, and the waiter chased them down the road, screaming that he had given them excellent service and where was the rest of his tip ... I was never sure whether this was to scare the rest of the diners into tipping well, or whether he was really that incensed that he felt chasing them down the road was appropriate. 20 years ago the internet was not so advanced, and therefore not everyone knew to tip higher in the US than in the UK.

NotAsGreenAsCabbageLooking · 09/08/2018 12:08

I got a barrage of abuse when I was in NYC from a drunk bloke who clearly hated the English (as soon as he heard my accent he called me fucking English scum).

His justification for the abuse was because I ordered a round of drinks, and then sorted out a couple of dollars for the tip, I wasn’t instant as I’m not familiar with the notes and I’m not entirely sure of the correct process.. so I just hand the top back to the staff once he’s given my change? That’s what I was doing... 😬

It’s all so incredibly awkward, I hate the whole debacle of it, not because I hate tipping (I’ll often tip bar staff in the U.K.), but because it’s so rigid and forced.

TheHodgeoftheHedge · 09/08/2018 12:10

UAEMum
*I would tip 10% max. They are not going to starve if you don't tip 20%
*

Actually they may well do if everyone took your shitty attitude. But as long as your ok, that's all that matters.

Bearbehind · 09/08/2018 12:10

This really annoys me about eating out in the US but the fact is you need to add 25-30% onto the menu price of everything to cover taxes and tips.

It's just not how we are used to paying for things because in the UK taxes are already included and tips are discretionary.

NotAsGreenAsCabbageLooking · 09/08/2018 12:10

Also, trying to ensure you always have a pocket full of small denominations is stressful!! I try for the opposite here... spend all my change so I’m not carrying around (physically) more money.

I don’t think I’ll go back to the US again tbh 😕

LighthouseSouth · 09/08/2018 12:15

YABVVVU

If you saved the money for fancy dinners, you have the money for tipping

it's one thing to think the staff should be paid properly, I agree - but if you feel that strongly that you don't want to tip, then don't go.

they are set up so that you pay that for service. Just imagine that everything on the menu is a higher price and stop whining.

RiceandBeans · 09/08/2018 12:15

Yes I know that tips top up their wages but I want to take my mum on some pretty fancy dinners while we’re there and just because I spend $100 dollars which I’ve saved up my minimum wage money for, I don’t see why some server thinks that’s entitles he to a $20 tip because I’m spending a lot of money

When in Rome ...

In NYC, you really need to price in a 15% tip to any eating out in a restaurant that you plan. If you can afford "fancy dinners" you can afford a 15% tip. If you can't afford the tip, lower your expectations of where you'll eat out & how you can spend.

There are some great places in NYC where you can eat out for two, including tip, for a lot less than $100. Ask here for recommendations - I"m sure you'll get loads. It helps if you stay out of the awful touristy areas midtown (horrible area) - I know of lovely places in Brooklyn, the Village, and lower Harlem/Morningside park which would cost around $70 for two, plus tip.

Waiting staff in the USA get paid a pittance, and service is usually way beyond our UK experience. You need to tip.

TheHodgeoftheHedge · 09/08/2018 12:16

By the way, I don't actually like the tipping culture. But the selfishness of those saying don't tip is shocking. You don't want to be out of pocket but it's totally ok to force someone else to be? Not ok. There are plenty of posters on here speaking sense - if you don't like it, don't go.

RiceandBeans · 09/08/2018 12:17

Do bills add on a tip and tax?

In NYC, generally - double the tax, and round it up.

Original poster
Kakamora · 09/08/2018 12:18

I’m not saying I won’t tip at all but i don’t care what anyone says, as a bartender and waitress myself I don’t ever expect anyone to tip. Their money is there’s and like I said in my OP people budget to go out with their money. They don’t owe anyone anymore of it just for serving them when they get paid to do that.

It isn’t my fault that they can’t pay their citizens properly.

OP posts:
fridgepants · 09/08/2018 12:19

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the user's request.

donquixotedelamancha · 09/08/2018 12:21

I don’t see why some server thinks that’s entitles he to a $20 tip because I’m spending a lot of money.

Because that is the system. There is a service charge of 15-20% (dependent on quality of service) which is not shown on the menu.

Tht same service charge is present in the UK, but it's included in the price. In France it's listed separately.

The only reason not to pay service is if it's bloody awful. I did that once in the US and explained why.

To ignore it is as irritating as idiots who tip for everything in the UK. Follow the culture of the place you are visiting.

Birdsgottafly · 09/08/2018 12:23

""All in all it's a nightmare for English people, we want to tip furtively I think""

It shouldn't be, in this day and age. You have to get passed that when you travel.

""as a bartender and waitress myself I don’t ever expect anyone to tip""

But you live under a different system. As said, you get more food for your money anyway, so you aren't losing out.

It's a very churlish attitude to be having towards a holiday.

IDontEatFriedTurtle · 09/08/2018 12:25

So spend a 100 pound here (and get far less) because it is already included in the cost. The only difference is that they allow you to reduce the price for shit service.

Don't take her on really fancy dinners if you can't afford them.

megcustard · 09/08/2018 12:26

as a bartender and waitress myself I don’t ever expect anyone to tip.

But you would if you were working in the US!

You chose to book a holiday in NYC - now you should respect their customs and budget for your meals out accordingly.

Btw, you should also leave a couple of dollars every day in your hotel room for housekeeping. But I expect you won't be doing that either...

IDontEatFriedTurtle · 09/08/2018 12:26

"as a bartender and waitress myself I don’t ever expect anyone to tip""

you fucking would if you made under the minimum wage and lived in one of the most expensive cities in the world.

NotAsGreenAsCabbageLooking · 09/08/2018 12:26

@fridgepants this is what I didn’t understand, adding a percentage inyo a meal bill is easy enough, but how does it work at the bar... and how do you actually give that tip? Ie.. when? Do you hand it to your server, do you leave it on the bar? There’s no clear instruction! (That I could find anyway...)

Hollycatberry · 09/08/2018 12:26

It's just not how we are used to paying for things because in the UK taxes are already included and tips are discretionary.

Well the UK is a small country and the most countries have different customs to us so if you’re going to travel surely it’s common sense to read up and be informed before you book.

There are tipping guides on the NYC tripadvisor forum. YABU if you don’t tip, you are paying for the service provided and usually you get very good service in the US. If you don’t want to tip go to a self service or counter eatery. No wonder brits have a terrible reputation abroad.

PatriciaHolm · 09/08/2018 12:28

They don’t owe anyone anymore of it just for serving them when they get paid to do that.

Your tip is largely what pays them. Why is this system so hard to understand?

It's far from an ideal system, we get that, but it's what is in place right now.

fridgepants · 09/08/2018 12:29

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the user's request.

donquixotedelamancha · 09/08/2018 12:29

They don’t owe anyone anymore of it just for serving them when they get paid to do that.

They don't get paid by the employer, they get paid directly by you. It's a different system.

It isn’t my fault that they can’t pay their citizens properly.

Again, they are paid properly, but the money goes directly to them. You are acting as their employer for the purposes of determining quality of service. By all means try to get away with ripping off these poor workers, but don't pretend it's in any way morally justifiable.

but how does it work at the bar One dollar per drink. Fancy places will expect more, but honestly I think that's fine.

chocatoo · 09/08/2018 12:30

It is the custom to tip 20% in USA and they rely on that for their income. If you can't afford that then maybe you should eat in cheaper places.

MrsPreston11 · 09/08/2018 12:30

That's how it is in the USA 15-20%, you need to budget that in the cost of your meal.

Food is much cheaper there.

LittleRen · 09/08/2018 12:30

It's just etiquette to tip - but if you have poor service then don't tip, but make sure you tell them why... we didn't tip once and the server ran after us asking us why, we had awful service.

If you are going anywhere in the States its common practice to tip so it just needs it be budgeted in. You will find in a lot of restaurants its added to the 'cheque'!

Bearbehind · 09/08/2018 12:31

but i don’t care what anyone says, as a bartender and waitress myself I don’t ever expect anyone to tip.

If you 'don't care what anyone says' why did you bother starting this thread?

The US system is different. You might not like it but it's a fact.