To be not looking forward to NYC holiday

[Kakamora]

Because of a post I’ve just seen about servers complaining they’ve had a tip that doesn’t reflect what they spent on food.

Yes I know that tips top up their wages but I want to take my mum on some pretty fancy dinners while we’re there and just because I spend $100 dollars which I’ve saved up my minimum wage money for, I don’t see why some server thinks that’s entitles he to a $20 tip because I’m spending a lot of money.

It is annoying me thinking I will have to save around an additional £150 for tip money. I always tip, but I don’t think waitresses here in the U.K. (which I am part time, think that spending £100 you know people have budgeted for warrants an expensive tip

Now what I do object to is 'resort charges' in hotels.

What the fuck are they for?

Wish there were some way to alert the restaurants where you're planning to dine that you're coming so they can decline your reservation. Your attitude completely sucks and you give the rest of us a bad name. You seem to think you're entitled to these meals just because you're you. You need to realise there will also be tax added onto your bill and you cannot get out of paying that. Also in some restaurants, the gratuity to added to avoid being stiffed by tight fisted twats with an overblown sense of entitlement.

*Now what I do object to is 'resort charges' in hotels.

What the fuck are they for?*

Don't ever go on a cruise then, they add in a lot of gratuities.

I can't get my head around someone travelling to a different culture and deciding the one part of it that they will refuse to participate in is the one that will shaft the lowest paid, hardest working people she will meet on the trip. It takes a special person to decide to do that

This ^^

Right - actually at the moment wait staff tend to take home more per hour than the kitchen staff.

A lot of restaurants in my area (Boston) are finding it impossible to keep line staff.

Why is it a percentage of the bill though? Surely if a waitress brings you a plate of chips or a plate of caviar, they are still carrying a plate and their customer service should be the same?

A percentage of the bill is the same for everyone, everyone pays the same percentage same as the sales tax. Think of it as a service tax if that helps, but don't impose your values on the local custom and twist it and turn it to meet your lofty standards of how things should be. It's how things are.

You can dislike it, bitch about it, make a sign and march around Time Square protesting about it but until it changes please try and respect that that's the way it is for the servers. You're not hurting the govt, you're not hurting the big restaurant chain or the rich restaurateur - stiffing on the tip means you're hurting the poor bastard who's working his or her butt off just trying to make a living.

@Kakamora "I would love to see a waiter chase me down."

I wonder if your mum will love it too.

come to think of it, how does your mum feel about this? she might not be happy with your attitude either.

As a relatively privileged Northern European I have had holidays in 'poor' countries where I have been aware that the bathroom attendants, beach sweepers, room service staff etc have been dependent on the tips I have been more than happy to 'give' them because I understand it is not their fault that they live in a country that treats them like crap even if we reassure ourselves this is the 'system' or kid ourselves this is a custom that we should expect/respect when travelling abroad. 'Yes, it is the 'custom' to leave children and family to earn a pittance to cater to privileged tourists - how awful'.

Difference seems to be that everyone knows this is very, very bad and is in no way a positive choice. The so called empathy economy is just another form of prostitution. Since when are waiting staff 'escorts' buttering up potential punters and then chasing them down the street when they don't pay up?

Is this the upshot of the American dream free capitalism without worker/union restraint? It seems obvious that this awful consequence can only be avoided by employers paying their staff but we as tourists bow down to custom of not paying employees! And then slag off the OP for being so gauche as to not realise this - so unsophisticated - no wonder you give Brits abroad a bad name - shame on you!

I don't want to pay people to be nice to me. I am comfortable paying for a service that a person freely gives in exchange for a living wage they receive for a job because this is not personal. This is an abstract relationship. I am not comfortable paying an individual for discrete services rendered. That seems demeaning to them and me.

OP - just apply the rules of tipping the 'poor and disadvantaged' in so-called Third World countries to the 'poor and disadvantaged' in rich North America and then you will be fine.

My god kakamora I agree, warn your mum you're planning to screw the wait staff financially before you go - I would be utterly humiliated if my child did this to me on what was supposed to be a lovely holiday.

Then don't go to places where you can't respect the customs and system because it goes against your principles, Keep . I won't go to Dubai for that exact reason. But to go there and not respect how they do things is just dickheaded.

The continual use of the word 'custom' is interesting. In what way is the non-payment of a living wage a custom relating to respecting the practices particular to a group, culture or geographical area? Would waiting staff experience some sort of offence if paid a minimum wage? How would it offend cultural custom?

Or do you just mean the 'culture' of taking the piss when exercised by the powerful?

@KeepOnKeepingOn1 is another one who wants to screw people over under the guise of socialism- typical sjw.

Well I had terrible experiences in New York of this. When I first arrived a cab man with a van was loitering. He took me and my DD, and four other people (2 pairs) to various drop off points in the city. I told the man from the get go that I only had 100 dollars American (I take out money at my destination with my debit card) and would that be enough to cover it all. He said sure no problem. All this was said before we even got in. We were dropped off last, it was late at night, and he got really threatening when I couldn’t give him a tip. Both me and my DD were actually scared. Eventually he left but it was horrible.

We went in a restaurant and the food was just really horrendous. I never ever complain in restaurants (fear of staff spitting in any replacement meal! Lol) but I just had to complain in this place. It was that bad. The server just shrugged. No refund or replacement offered. So I didn’t tip. And again, the attitude was bloody awful.

I personally did not like New York at all! I didn’t find the food good, the attitude over tipping is borderline aggressive. The subway is filthy and disgusting. And once you’ve seen the major “sights” there’s nothing else there to do.i’d never Go back.

What does sjw mean? I am excited - I have never been accused of being typical!

My niece gets paid about $3 an hour for a well know chain so she needs the tips. Then like pp said she gets taxed on it.

SJW = social justice warrior

Disagree with the people saying NYC restaurants generally much cheaper than London- on our last visit we researched and ate in 2 popular, but mid range buzzy, fairly low key places, not fine-dining in the slightest- it was absolutely extortionate. Think £200-£250 + for meal for 2 on both nights, when in London similar we'd have paid 1/2 that. Lovely waitress in 1 so friendly and helpful, minute she had her tip, smiles was off her face/looked right through us as we left, as if it all the fun, personal conversations we'd had throughout the evening never existed.
I know its just a set custom so I'd never not do it, but when so many waiting staff are so false and also rude when you don't OVER tip by some insane amount, it is definitely off-putting.

I was just googling. I am way too old to be a keyboard warrior. I am the real deal (according to Wikipedia) someone who promotes socially progressive views - because they actually accord with my own. Remember the days when people actually had informed views?

I travel to the US quite a bit and always tip 15-20% for good service, that’s just how it is! I’d feel bad if I didn’t.

They also eat meals really fast
I hate this. They want you in and out of the restaurant as fast as possible so they can maximise their tips. If you sit at your table for too long the server is basically losing money because they’ll still only get one tip from you. Whereas if they rush you out and the next customer in they’ll get two tips. They rush you to make a decision and order, then they rush out with the food, then they start clearing plates and offering the dessert menu while some people at the table are still eating their main course. And after you’ve finished you don’t get the chance to relax and finish your drinks and chat because they’re virtually pushing you out of the door. I didn’t find my dining experiences very pleasant tbh.

@Storm4Star

no offence but why on earth would you use a stranger for transport - would you get in a random minicab that stopped by you in London?

And you actually TOLD someone how much cash you had on you?!

the subway is cleaner than the Tube, but that's because they were sensible and didn't put fabric on the subway so it's much easier to clean. and of course there's air con!

Keeponkeepingon1 "In what way is the non-payment of a living wage a custom relating to respecting the practices particular to a group, culture or geographical area? "

it's the government who aren't sorting out a living wage. What many posters are saying is that the OP shouldn't be targeting the people who suffer the worst of that policy. If she has a problem with lack of wages, the way to deal with it does not include - visit a pricey restaurant and refuse to pay!

not going at all would make more sense.

this thread is "an eye opener

@rosealltheway

"smiles was off her face/looked right through us as we left, as if it all the fun, personal conversations we'd had throughout the evening never existed"

she's working. she's putting on a show. when you walked out she was taking a mental breather before she put her show face on for the next performance. It's called making a living!

Unfortunately the OP didn't realise that tipping was expected. Its a bit of shock to anyone who finds out they need to pay 20% more than they originally thought on any purchase.

The OP has chosen not to follow custom and would be quite willing to either not tip or not tip the "normal" amount. That's her right to do as she pleases, embarrassing to us, but it's not our holiday.

She might act differently when visiting NYC and just follow suit. Who knows 🤷‍♀️. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt now and again.

According to posts on here this system is terrible for the staff and terrible for customers. (Except for those customers who get off on flashing largesse to buy 'exceptional service').

But staff and regular customers have to accept it.

You have to go along with it because of system and custom otherwise go to Blackpool and/or eat at KFC/McDonalds.

Push past the 'custom' and 'system' bollocks and we find it is great for restaurant owners.

And no one can understand why OP may be confused?