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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be not looking forward to NYC holiday

394 replies

Kakamora · 09/08/2018 11:18

Because of a post I’ve just seen about servers complaining they’ve had a tip that doesn’t reflect what they spent on food.

Yes I know that tips top up their wages but I want to take my mum on some pretty fancy dinners while we’re there and just because I spend $100 dollars which I’ve saved up my minimum wage money for, I don’t see why some server thinks that’s entitles he to a $20 tip because I’m spending a lot of money.

It is annoying me thinking I will have to save around an additional £150 for tip money. Angry I always tip, but I don’t think waitresses here in the U.K. (which I am part time, think that spending £100 you know people have budgeted for warrants an expensive tip

OP posts:
ShumpaLumpa · 09/08/2018 14:04

fudgefeet

I would have thought that if you received a free meal you would just want to leave a good tip.
I guess I hoped his act of kindness would automatically be passed on but there you go!
I always tip very generously when I go to pizza express with club card vouchers.

I agree that they should. And I would have. But a gentle reminder from you may have meant you got the tip you deserved. If I ever do this random act of kindness I will remember to tip the wait staff too!

NicoAndTheNiners · 09/08/2018 14:04

I’ve never been to the USA and didn’t realise you tipped for drinks in a bar. I knew about tipping in restaurants. So in a bar if you ordered a beer how much would you tip, is it still 20% or would you tip a dollar?

I don’t even know how much a beer is in America so no idea which would be the greater sum!

NicoAndTheNiners · 09/08/2018 14:05

And how much is tax which is added to a bill? I was thinking of going to NYC, didn’t know about the tax.

sohorrible · 09/08/2018 14:06

It's obviously a remnant of some past system, because in today's world t doesn't make any sense using such a convoluted process to pay your staff. If I have to hand over a dollar to the barman for every drink, why not just increase the price of all drinks by a dollar and pay the barman a higher wage? It's just a stupid system.

But anyway OP, it is what it is, if you have $100 for a meal, you don't have to go somewhere that the meal will cost $100 and worry about how to afford the tip. Just go somewhere the meal will come to $83, giving you enough for a 20% tip.

LoveInTokyo · 09/08/2018 14:08

I always tip very generously when I go to pizza express with club card vouchers.

Yes, I think if you're using a voucher or getting a student discount or something like that, the tip you leave should reflect the full price value of the meal, not the discounted price.

Original poster
Kakamora · 09/08/2018 14:09

I would love to see a waiter chase me down.

OP posts:
OliviaStabler · 09/08/2018 14:09

How is it up to them to decide what is enough?

Because that is how it is out there! Anyone who does research on a holiday to the USA will learn it is expected that they tip and there are many websites providing similar guidelines on how much to tip for each service. I knew before going that 15% to 20% was expected in any restaurant that I ate in. I always left 20% or slightly more as the service was excellent and I knew that these workers live off their tips.

@Kakamora is in for a huge shock if they haven't factored in tips for housekeeping, taxi's, bellboys etc to their overall budget.

daffodillament · 09/08/2018 14:09

For gods sake ! You're going to New York ! Don't sweat the small stuff !
As well as the tipping there is SO much free stuff to do too ! Enjoy !

farangatang · 09/08/2018 14:10

If you're going with a friend, you can save by ordering a meal to share. The portions are so HUGE you'll struggle to eat one on your own. That way the tip won't seem so bad... Smile

Yogafailure · 09/08/2018 14:10

I'm heading to NY in a few months for the first time and I must admit this tipping thing is stressing me out. I don't want to offend anyone so will probably be throwing money at folk 🙈. I'm on a FB group for NY and this tipping issue comes up all the time and gets really heated. It also has waiting staff from NY on it giving their POV which is very interesting to read.

PolkaHots · 09/08/2018 14:13

I hate tipping too and get really stressed by it.

You know what solved that? Leaving tips.

You’re going on what might be a holiday of a lifetime, but if you have the attitude that you seem to, you will remember it primarily for the whole tipping situation.

Stirner · 09/08/2018 14:13

Imagine booking a holiday somewhere and not researching the customs of that place before.

TheGoldenWolfFleece · 09/08/2018 14:14

Why's it the customers fault that restaurants in the us don't pay their staff properly?

diddl · 09/08/2018 14:16

"Because that is how it is out there! "

That's obviously not what I meant.

If the customer decides that the service didn't warrant the expected 20%, isn't that up to them?

Alabamazero · 09/08/2018 14:16

Just got back from 3 weeks in the US and as a family we gave 20% tips as the norm - we just added it to the price of the meals.

In all the years I've been travelling to the US, this has always been what's happened. I wouldn't tip more than 20%, but it's just a way of life to leave tips if you are travelling there.

m00rfarm · 09/08/2018 14:16

It was a dollar per drink tip 18 years ago - surely that has changed by now?

sohorrible · 09/08/2018 14:17

Why's it the customers fault that restaurants in the us don't pay their staff properly?

It's not, and it's fine to discuss what a shitty system it is, but there's no point taking that out on the poor staff while you're there for just a week (or however long). Making that "stand" is not going to change anything, except making the lives of the people who have it worst in this situation even more difficult!

SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 09/08/2018 14:19

i don’t care what anyone says, as a bartender and waitress myself I don’t ever expect anyone to tip. Their money is there’s and like I said in my OP people budget to go out with their money. They don’t owe anyone anymore of it just for serving them when they get paid to do that.

It isn’t my fault that they can’t pay their citizens properly

Ugh. What a horrible, mean-spirited attitude. I can just imagine the narrow-eyed looks at the poor waiting staff, daring them to say anything, carefully counting out the EXACT money and not a cent more then bustling out, all self-satisfied and smug that you've bucked the system.

Go you.

Stupomax · 09/08/2018 14:20

Why's it the customers fault that restaurants in the us don't pay their staff properly?

It's not anyone's 'fault'. It's just the way the system works.

LoveInTokyo · 09/08/2018 14:24

Why's it the customers fault that restaurants in the us don't pay their staff properly?

It's not, but it's not the staff's fault either.

The US tipping culture is common knowledge. Anyone travelling there should know this. If you've paid for a transatlantic flight and hotels and god knows what else then it is simply unacceptable to take up the time and attention of someone who needs proper tips in order to make ends meet and then not reward them in line with local tipping culture just because you disagree with it.

Yes, restaurants should pay their staff properly. But they don't.

If you don't like it, don't visit the US. (Come to France, where you pay for your meal and leave a couple of euro at the end if you feel like it, the staff are appropriately paid, and if you manage to get a smile or laugh out of the waiter, you know it's genuine and not just because they need your tips.)

BewareOfDragons · 09/08/2018 14:25

YABVVVVVU.

Servers in the US get a lower minimum wage than other minimum wage workers.

Servers rely on tips.

Tips are customary in the US.

Servers are TAXED as if they had received at least 15% in tips on everything they serve ... so they are losing money when selfish twats don't tip appropriately when they eat out.

If you can't afford to tip properly, then you can't afford to eat out in the states.

VintageVelvet · 09/08/2018 14:25

‘ I would love to see a waiter chase me down.’

It’s the custom to tip there. Have you not read everyone’s responses, or are you as ignorant as you are coming across.

It’s extraordinary that the system and customs of the country you are visiting have been explained to you, yet you refuse to accept the reality and facts of the tipping system in America.

I hope you do get chased down and shamed.

MinaPaws · 09/08/2018 14:27

I don't know where the people who say the food is cheaper and better in NYC have been eating - not where we ate. The food was good - nothing special. But twice the price of uK food. A basic breakfast seemed to set us back $100 for four people. Then add a 20% tip. That would be £40 in UK with a 12.5% tip. We ate in side streets, diners, chains, delis - all sorts of places - famous and tucked away. Ironically, the best value we had was at a Michelin starred place on the Upper East side which was doing cheap lunch deals. NYC food was really uninspiring compared to London food imo.

But yes, tip the going rate for tipping in that country. People rely on the income.

HelpmeobiMN · 09/08/2018 14:29

Sorry, YABU - you have to factor in tips at 20% as part of the cost of eating out in America. If you didn’t have to tip because the Waitstaff were paid fairly the food would be more expensive in any case, so it’s not really any different - you’re just more aware of it.

When looking at places you want to go, mentally add 20% to everything to get a realistic idea of costs and that way you’ll know if you can actually afford it.

VodkaLimeSoda27 · 09/08/2018 14:29

m00rfarm it is still $1 per drink here for beer and spirit & mixer but usually $2 or a proportionate amount to the price for a cocktail.

It's really not that hard to know how much to tip- a lot of restaurants will have the amounts for 15%, 18% and 20% automatically calculated and printed on your receipt.

I've lived here a while and the general rule of thumb is anything above 15% is ok, and above 20% is generous. I mostly eat out with Americans and this is how they calculate their tips.

If your food or service is bad and you don't want to tip you should really politely speak to the manager so they can try and put things right for you first, and if they won't then make your decision based on that. But when you do, be aware of the high cost of living in this city, and the fact that service workers here rely on their tips to get by. No, it's not your problem but that's the unfortunate system in place.

And tbh, there's plenty of good food to eat here without paying a fortune. Why not go to one of the many affordable places with great reviews, and give a decent tip?

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