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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be not looking forward to NYC holiday

394 replies

Kakamora · 09/08/2018 11:18

Because of a post I’ve just seen about servers complaining they’ve had a tip that doesn’t reflect what they spent on food.

Yes I know that tips top up their wages but I want to take my mum on some pretty fancy dinners while we’re there and just because I spend $100 dollars which I’ve saved up my minimum wage money for, I don’t see why some server thinks that’s entitles he to a $20 tip because I’m spending a lot of money.

It is annoying me thinking I will have to save around an additional £150 for tip money. Angry I always tip, but I don’t think waitresses here in the U.K. (which I am part time, think that spending £100 you know people have budgeted for warrants an expensive tip

OP posts:
rainbowsandsmiles · 10/08/2018 18:39

I'm in the UK and never tip (just don't need to here, and it isn't compulsory) and I don't agree with it.
However, if I was ever to go to America, I would tip purely because it is their custom and the way they do things.
Bloody cheeky not paying the staff enough and expecting diners to top it up though, but I'd suck it up and as someone said earlier treat it as part of the experience.
When in Rome,and all that.

MyDirtyLittleSecret · 10/08/2018 18:48

Ta1kinpeace If a bartender is earning $3 an hour, go work for somebody who pays properly.

Because it's so easy when you're a student trying to work your way through college, or a single mum with no qualifications to just waltz into a better job.

And yes, I know that lots of US employees suck it up so they can get healthcare - a whole other discussion.

What makes you think that employers who don't pay a living wage would pay for healthcare for their employees?

Look, to all the people on this thread who don't think they should have to tip in the USA, then don't but don't pretend you're doing it out of any kind of principle as a stand against exploitative employers or it's because you expect a server to jump through some kind of 'exceptional above and beyond service' hoops in order to be blessed with your largesse.

You've been informed as to why the tip is actually a part of the true cost of your meal so if you don't pay it don't kid yourself that you're not a cheap bastard or any better than those who eat and skip out on the check.

Ta1kinpeace · 10/08/2018 18:49

In Rome, restaurants are required to pay their staff a proper wage

the tip is for service over and above

Ta1kinpeace · 10/08/2018 18:52

Mydirty
student trying to work your way through college, or a single mum with no qualifications
So you would rather defend the tipping culture
than force legislators to make the minimum wage something sensible like $10 an hour ?

Why should employers not have to pay the cost of their staff ?

IceCreamFace · 10/08/2018 18:56

I'm in the UK and never tip (just don't need to here, and it isn't compulsory) and I don't agree with it.
However, if I was ever to go to America, I would tip purely because it is their custom and the way they do things.

This makes no sense to me. It's also customary to tip here (although not as much), it's how we do things. It's not compulsory to tip in US either.

MaryPoppinsPenguins · 10/08/2018 18:59

It can be compulsory, in Disney for example they add 20% (or whatever it is) to the bill for parties of 6 or more and that’s part of your bill..

MyDirtyLittleSecret · 10/08/2018 19:00

I don't defend the tipping culture, read my other posts on this thread. I think the word degrading might feature in there somewhere. These days DH and I try as much as possible to eat at places where they include the service charge on the menu and pay their staff above minimum wage. It's slow progress but there are more and more restaurateurs doing this on the West Coast where we live. But if we do eat in establishments where we know the servers depend on tips, we bloody well tip because anything less is theft.

Ta1kinpeace · 10/08/2018 19:05

Mydirty
And California and Oregon and Washington are moving towards a sustainable minimum wage.

For NYC to have it at under $4 when cheap apartments are $1200 a month is insane
but the bosses keep their costs down Hmm

Last time I was in NYC my local guide was careful to ask when booking whether places paid a decent wage.
The more people who do that the faster it will change.

Ta1kinpeace · 10/08/2018 19:09

It can be compulsory, in Disney for example they add 20% (or whatever it is) to the bill for parties of 6 or more and that’s part of your bill..
TBH where I ate in London last night added 12.5% to the bill

but as the service had been SHITE (slow / food cold / dishes not turned up) I called the maitre'd across and "invited" him to remove it
and we left no tip not that the waitress would have noticed as she was too busy on her phone

rainbowsandsmiles · 10/08/2018 19:14

This makes no sense to me. It's also customary to tip here (although not as much

You do NOT have to tip in the UK. Some people may feel like they're obliged to or something, but it isn't customary to tip in the UK. At all.

Quartz2208 · 10/08/2018 19:15

Disney add 18% to tables of 6 or more

gottachangethename1 · 10/08/2018 19:15

I’m still recovering from how expensive everything was in NYC and I was less than impressed with the customer service in most places. The worst were the taxi drivers- dreadful attitude and then expected a big tip.

rainbowsandsmiles · 10/08/2018 19:16

This makes no sense to me. It's also customary to tip here (although not as much), it's how we do things. It's not compulsory to tip in US either.

You do NOT have to tip in the UK. Some people may feel like they're obliged to or something, but it isn't customary to tip in the UK. At all. Here, no need to. Over in US, pays their wages. Can totally see why they would need their tip.

EdWinchester · 10/08/2018 19:17

You have to tip at least 20%, that's all there is to it.

If it means things are tight - choose cheaper places to eat.

Don't go to Ellen's Stardust Diner if you're worried about tipping. In addition to tipping at the end, they come round with a bucket during your meal Grin

Ta1kinpeace · 10/08/2018 19:22

You have to tip at least 20%, that's all there is to it.
Nope, sorry not buying that.

Why do Restaurants not have to pay their staff properly ?
Why collude with bad employment practices ?

it isn't customary to tip in the UK
Hogwash.
Service charges are added to bills by most chains
good service should always be rewarded

But in the UK employers are legally required to pay more than poverty wages
its not a big ask

IceCreamFace · 10/08/2018 19:23

but it isn't customary to tip in the UK

I disagree. It is customary to tip in most UK restaurants where you sit down and are served. Of course you don't HAVE to tip here just as you don't HAVE to tip in the US but it is usual to do so (unless you're unhappy with the service).

Quartz2208 · 10/08/2018 19:27

Culture is 15 to 20% it should never be automatically 20%

Puzzledandpissedoff · 10/08/2018 19:27

Disney add 18% to tables of 6 or more

Ah yes, one of those. IMO that's a classic indication of a clip joint, though with Disney it doesn't surprise me

I wonder if they point it out if diners start to hand over another 18% ...

Janni01 · 10/08/2018 19:29

I've never tipped in the UK, now wondering if I should have?

Lyndaishistory · 10/08/2018 19:32

This makes no sense to me. It's also customary to tip here (although not as much), it's how we do things. It's not compulsory to tip in US either.

What a load of bollocks. It really isn't a thing in the UK.

DasPepe · 10/08/2018 19:37

I didn’t know how little servers get paid until this thread. :/

Of all the people questioning the system though : I bet you’re fine with Costa or Starbucks having different prices for take away or eat in. So think of it the same way. You have to add this to the cost of food yourself though

Storm4star · 10/08/2018 19:38

Ultimately I tip when the food and service is good and not when it’s bad. That’s how it should be. If i’ve had a horrible meal then I’ve already lost money so I’m not going to go ahead and lose more by tipping! And I am not a fussy person at all when it comes to food so it has to be really bad for me to feel that way.

Not tipping isn’t theft, as a pp said. A government taking taxes based on other people’s generiousity is theft!

Ta1kinpeace · 10/08/2018 19:38

I bet you’re fine with Costa or Starbucks having different prices for take away or eat in.
In the UK that is to do with VAT, not staff

Gushpanka · 10/08/2018 19:39

Here you go op, nyc restauranrs where you dont need to tip. If its such an issue for you go to these. That way you're not fleecing people who have worked hard to serve you (find it hard to believe you're a waitress and have no empathy for people in the same job paid less than tbe minimum wage on thepresumption of tips - and taxed the same way)
www.escape.com.au/world/north-america/tipping-in-new-york-city-7-best-nyc-restaurants-where-you-dont-have-to-tip/news-story/c4e1e296da705ff6959199b960c2b228

MsJudgemental · 10/08/2018 19:44

We were in California last summer and I’m fairly sure the tip was added as a separate item onto the bills there. Not been to NYC for years but would like to go again. Horrible system, though, to not pay your staff properly and put the onus on the customer.