To be really annoyed with SIL

[alwaysthesameold]

So my LO and SIL LO both go to our mother in law every Thursday.
I’ve chosen to work on a Thursday but SIL doesn’t work.
SIL little one has been vomiting since Tuesday night at midnight so about 31 hours. Don’t think she’s thrown up for the past few hours though according to SIL (since 1am this morning)
I’m due in work at 9am and SIL just text me saying she’s still sending her LO to our mother in law today as she needs some free time after dealing with all the sick and she wants to go to the gym.
I’m refusing to send my LO today now as 48 hours haven’t passed, her LO will still be contagious and it’s my daughters birthday on Saturday so really don’t want her sick for it.
I’ve also got to phone in work and take a day off unpaid.
Mother in law refuses to get involved and if I’m honest her LO always seems to come first (not sure if it’s because she was the first grandchild)
Just having a rant really because I’m angry and SIL is selfish as always.

I am getting over it. I’ve not moaned directly to them, not caused a fuss or a scene. Just called MIL and said I won’t be bringing LO as it’s not been 48 hours and I don’t want them to catch sickness bug.
MIL replied ok, and that’s the end of it!

Well, clearly not if you're posting about how unreasonable everyone else in the situation is being! 😂

Anyway, glad you recognise that this is your problem, not theirs.

you either need to pay for childcare or get your husband to take time off, it shouldnt be just you that has to take time off work. i agree your sil is being selfish but thats people for you.

YANBU to expect SIL to have a little sense when it comes to illness. She's being a dick.

Don’t want to get husband to take time off, as he’s the bread winner. If one of us is going to lose our jobs then I’d much rather it was me.
SIL knows that we aren’t well off, and the £300 a month that I bring home is the difference between us being able to feed us all or go into our overdraft each month. Don’t get me wrong, we aren’t in poverty, but that £300 a month just means that it’s comfortable for us and we aren’t cutting back on one thing to pay for another.
But yeah, agreed, if I want a say on my childcare then I should be paying for it.
This is more of a SIL rant than a childcare rant.
She just doesn’t see the bigger picture, as long as she gets her body pump class. But that’s just people I suppose!

YABU. Kids get sick. Totally normal not to isolate in a shared family setting or nanny share, just like you don’t isolate siblings.

Completely agree with the getting your dh to take the day off instead option. I bet your MIL wouldnt say ok as easily then!

Wait till your mil starts vomiting Sat morning and on no account do you allow them to the birthday party. Your sil will be contagious too and hopefully will become ill to teach her a lesson

Your husband will not lose his job taking odd days to care for his sick children. I'm fact, I imagine his contract allows for so many days carers leave you allow for this scenario. If you split this responsibility between the two of you on the odd occasion childcare falls through for whatever reason, then no one is going to get fired.

I agree your sil is being unreasonable sending her sick kid.

I still think your sil is selfish in the extreme. I wouldn't want to look after a family member who had a sickness bug (except my own children, obviously) and nor would I inflict my own children's bugs on my elderly inlaws.

Some childminders will do one day a week

I can understand your MIL not wanting to get involved. Does SIL know you aren't sending your child today for this reason?

Is your SIL her DD?

Your DH definitely isn't going to lose his job because he took one day off to look after his child.

SIL is definitely being selfish. Have you spoken (gently!) to her about it, just pointing out the impact on you if your DC catches something, i.e. it's a lot more serious than a missed body pump class? Alternatively, you could mention in advance to MIL that you are thinking about switching your DC to formal childcare, and why, and see if this spurs her into action? Neither course is guaranteed, and relies on them being decent, but you can try!

He may not lose his job, but there are promotions coming up and we both feel like we want him to come across as dependable and reliable right now to be honest.
Anyway what’s done is done.
SIL isn’t MIL daughter, no. We are both married to her sons.
I text SIL and said “LO won’t be going to inlaws today as I’m worried that cousin may still be contagious and it’s their birthday coming up”
SIL text back “OK hun, see you at the weekend”
So yep, she does know.
Anyway, now to find something to do today!

The message to SIL was a bit PA, wasn't it?

If you increase your hours at work will you be entitled to the 30 free hours when LO turns 3? Worth checking out. More reliable childcare is definitely needed.

Your SIL is a twat.

It's frustrating, but it's swings and roundabouts as I'm guessing you'd still be able to leave your DC with MIL if they were unwell, whereas a nursery would decline them, requiring more time off work. I'm also guessing your DC would be exposed to more bugs in a nursery full of children.
I agree SIL is being selfish, I have a similar one who doesn't understand the need to work being different to the need for a "day off".
Hope your employer is understanding OP.

I'd be making it clear that they won't be welcome at the party if 48 hours haven't passed! And that goes for SiL and MiL as well now that they have been exposed today!

Your husbands work may have emergency days - it's just if you keep taking off the one day a week you do actually work you may lose your job
I understand about promotions but it won't affect him, if it does he's working for a crappy company!

Also if you show it in that light, ie her son having to take time off, she may see a different light to it!

I'm glad your going to find other child care, I have a sil like that too.

It doesn't get any better.

Totally selfish of her, beyond the necessary pleasantries I hope you put yourself out for this woman, I would be really annoyed too.

don't put yourself out!

Very selfish of your SIL. Your MIL is allowing her to be like that, so she’s no better.