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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cleaner ate our snacks

247 replies

FrazzledRockRed · 08/08/2018 06:26

I’ve always said to our cleaner ‘help yourself to tea and biscuits’. I’m not the teabag and biscuit counting type so I don’t know if she did. She comes with her young dc Hmm.

Yesterday we came home to a brand new pack of 4 breakfast bars down to only one. It could only be the cleaner and dc.

There’s a difference between opening something with a countable number and having a biccie or 2.

Aibu to think this is taking the piss?

OP posts:
MrsChollySawcutt · 08/08/2018 11:52

Well obviously if the cleaner had eaten Jaffa cakes that changes the whole scenario completely.

Call the police and 'log it' OP? BiscuitWink

whatdoyoudointhis · 08/08/2018 11:57

At 6.30 am OP starts a thread...

At midday MN is still discussing if a cleaner can take biscuits 🍪

blueshoes · 08/08/2018 12:00

Welcome to the world of managing staff.

Maybe it is a coincidence but all my best tradespeople do not eat at work. I offer. They do not accept. If they wish to eat, they bring their own. If I truly want them to eat, I lay it out for them e.g. biscuits or sandwiches. Tea, coffee, water is of course freely available.

Some people are good, others not so. It does not mean that if you treat someone well and generously, they automatically do a better job. They may but they may also see you as a soft touch and start to slowly push boundaries and increasingly take the piss. Others might do a better job if treated better or they may not but they decide to stay for longer with you for the easy life. Do you really want these?

Hence, it is important to manage poor performers out despite the inevitable disruption. Personally, you need to tackle the elephant in the room first. The biscuits is just a symptom of a bigger issue. Good employees want their employers to be clear because they know how to please to their employer's standards. Bad employees love vagueness because they can push boundaries to suit themselves.

Ultimately, as the employer, you have to be clear in your expectations and communicate them. You can of course also be kind and nice and praise for good work (and allow flexibility like her bringing her children).

It is nice of you to offer biscuits. But open-ended offers are open to interpretation. Next, just leave out the biscuits she and her dcs are allowed to eat.

Allegorical · 08/08/2018 12:04

I think she is taking the Mick a bit.
You bought a pack of something for you and she left you with one which isn’t Much use if you have kids.

It’s a bit different from a couple of malted milks!

I would maybe give her the benefit of the doubt on this occasion. Maybe her kids took them out of the cupboard and had a complete tantrum that they couldn’t have them so she gave in.

The people saying you can afford a cleaner but can’t afford a pack of breakfast bars are missing the point plus many people have cleaners that aren’t loaded as they see it’s as a worthwhile sacrifice to male theor life more manageable. I would give up a lot of luxuries before I gave up a cleaner!!!

QueenOfIce · 08/08/2018 12:42

Those saying op it nitpicking I don't think she is. A breakfast bar is not a biscuit and anyone with manners would see open biscuits and help themselves to those not open a new box and then take out 3!

The cleaner isn't working for free, she's getting paid to do a job. If she's bringing her child without consent and then helping herself and doing a crap job she shouldn't have to be cut any slack etc.

QueenOfIce · 08/08/2018 12:42

Is not it nitpicking Confused

ShirleyPhallus · 08/08/2018 12:50

Welcome to the world of managing staff

Ultimately, as the employer, you have to be clear in your expectations and communicate them.

What patronising bollocks. The OP hasn’t employed her directly - she pays her to provide a service. Just like I don’t employ my hairdresser or the guy that washes my car or the removals men who helped me last week Confused

AgentJohnson · 08/08/2018 12:55

Ultimately, as the employer, you have to be clear in your expectations and communicate them.

Exactly, ‘help yourself’ is ambiguous enough to mean different things to different people.

Mominatrix · 08/08/2018 12:59

Why pay a cleaner who does a rubbish job? If she is with an agency, complain and get a different cleaner.

If you want to avoid this happening in the future, just don't offer snacks.

Purringkittenmama · 08/08/2018 13:08

Tbh I would be absolutely apoplectic with rage. I mean 3 cereal bars. Angry The world is about to end.

Saffy60 · 08/08/2018 13:10

Lets ALL just be grateful the woman doesn't drink ...coffee!!!

TatianaLarina · 08/08/2018 13:21

My cleaner drinks our alcohol - brandy, whisky, vodka... she’s part of the family and an excellent cleaner so I can’t fire her.

But if she was rubbish and brought her kids I so would.

ShirleyPhallus · 08/08/2018 13:22

I’d just love to know how this thread would have turned out if the OP came home to the cleaner making pasta for her children Grin

TatianaLarina · 08/08/2018 13:25

If the OP had told cleaner to help herself to pasta pretty much the same...

schoty77 · 08/08/2018 13:37

She probably assumed bars count as biscuits. I would be peeved too though, you aren’t responsible for feeding her kids

cookiesandchocolate · 08/08/2018 13:41

You told her to help herself and are now annoyed that she did. 🤦🏻‍♀️

cookiesandchocolate · 08/08/2018 13:42

She ate 3 biscuits essentially. Too much drama.

Lunde · 08/08/2018 13:51

In your OP you call them snacks. So I can see that there is room for misunderstanding whether they can be classified as biscuits.

Is a quid's worth of snacks the hill you want to make a stand on? Get a sense of perspective! If this bothers you so much place the biscuits that you deem acceptable into a tin and place it by the kettle for her.

MarklesMerkin · 08/08/2018 14:06

Apparently, Flapjacks are biscuits LIES!!!! Shock

MrsChollySawcutt · 08/08/2018 14:20

What about the Jaffa cakes! Will no-one think of the Jaffa cakes!!

monkeytoad35 · 08/08/2018 14:34

So OP, what will you do now after receiving all this wonderful MN advice? Grin

TellMeItsNotTrue · 08/08/2018 15:13

Jaffa cakes are officially cakes pretending to be biscuits Grin

Cake - goes harder when stale
Biscuit - goes softer when stale

So the big question now that I've addressed the Jaffa cake issue is do these breakfast bars go softer when stale?? Wink

Original poster
FrazzledRockRed · 08/08/2018 16:13

I always find it so strange when some posters follow others around on forums. ‘You were on at 6.45, then you had another thread about a Dj who was rude, then your relation was horrible to you...therefore you are xyz’.

I barely even glance at usernames.
It’s so weird to dig into posters like that.

OP posts:
Original poster
FrazzledRockRed · 08/08/2018 16:18

The difference between pasta and treats like that is that if someone said ‘my kids are hungry because I’m too poor to feed them,’ no one will begrudge some pasta or bread. But if you’re starving breakfast bars aren’t any help especially when there’s a loaf of bread right there.’

If I was home alone at a friends house all afternoon for some reason and they said ‘have a drink’ I wouldn’t drink 3 cans of an unopened four pack when there is cordial opened and there.

I suppose people just have different manners.

OP posts:
Original poster
FrazzledRockRed · 08/08/2018 16:19

I haven’t read all posts yet.

OP posts:
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