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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cleaner ate our snacks

247 replies

FrazzledRockRed · 08/08/2018 06:26

I’ve always said to our cleaner ‘help yourself to tea and biscuits’. I’m not the teabag and biscuit counting type so I don’t know if she did. She comes with her young dc Hmm.

Yesterday we came home to a brand new pack of 4 breakfast bars down to only one. It could only be the cleaner and dc.

There’s a difference between opening something with a countable number and having a biccie or 2.

Aibu to think this is taking the piss?

OP posts:
WhentheDealGoesDown · 08/08/2018 22:18

I also thought they earned quite a reasonable wage, not minimum wage probably more than I do in my office job. Maybe in London it is different

JasmineByTheSea · 08/08/2018 22:19

Downtown

Many in London are paid just the minimim and the agencies take a big slice. But it’s great that some cleaners get paid better. I wish that was always the case.

I guess this is a bit moot though because OP already said her cleaner’s life is harder than hers.

AjasLipstick · 08/08/2018 22:21

I think what another means is that you can't assume a cleaner's life is "hard" simply because she earns less than you do.

Some cleaners do very well. Better than shop assistants.

The cleaner may have a DH earning good money...or savings...and may simply enjoy working.

My Mum worked as a low paid carer for the elderly until she was in her 70s. Not because her life was "hard" but because it kept her busy and she's always liked to keep busy .

She had a number of incomes from my Dad and her own pensions.

Original poster
FrazzledRockRed · 08/08/2018 22:29

Um, I never said the cleaner had a harder life than me. That was a pp.

OP posts:
AjasLipstick · 08/08/2018 22:30

I never said you did. Hmm

WhentheDealGoesDown · 08/08/2018 22:33

In your last post it does read in the first paragraph that she has not a very good life, it may be a typo or the way it comes over

ferntwist · 08/08/2018 22:37

I can’t believe how many posters would begrudge kids a few breakfast bars (how are they significantly different from biscuits anyway?). We’re talkibg pence here. You meanies.

Original poster
FrazzledRockRed · 09/08/2018 06:53

Kids that are not even meant to be at your houseHmm

OP posts:
burnoutbabe · 09/08/2018 07:08

Well yes, a few biscuits for the cleaver is just for the cleaner, not for as many people as they bring along. And then why not just take sone more for any more kids at home and her partner?
I'd hide all snacks going forward if you don't want to say anything to define who can have what snacks.
People bringing kids to their job without permission is very unprofessional.

AntipodeanOpalEye · 09/08/2018 07:55

So it's not it's not the fact she does a "shit job" cleaning, but the fact that after being told to help herself to a snack she took a look and chose something she felt was suitable but that you didn't. Seriously, you say you can't be assed to address her work performance, but you can be assed to stress out about some processed food bars which are easily replaceable. You have strange priorities OP.

Havingahorridtime · 09/08/2018 07:59

OP still hasn’t confirmed whether they were breakfast bars or belvita type breakfast biscuits. I don’t think anyone can argue that belvita are biscuits seeing as the manufacturer even calls them biscuits.

So OP, what type of thing was it that the cleaner ate?

NotAnotherHeffalump · 09/08/2018 08:04

As PP suggested, I would put out a plate with any biscuits or other snacks you were happy with her eating on the table in future. My mum makes her cleaner lunch and sits and eats it with her while having a chat, so I don't really see what the big deal is in having a cereal bar tbh. They aren't very healthy, maybe your husband should try fruit and a hard boiled egg or something instead. That's missing the point a bit i know, I just don't see why anyone could get the so wound up over them.

If she isn't doing something to the standard you'd like it to be done I would bring it up with her politely. Just "Oh I noticed the shower was still a bit grimey after you left last week....what are you using to clean it? Will that dirt not come off the shower head? Do we need to try something else" etc.

I wouldn't mind kids being there so long as she was still doing a good job. Some people don't have great support and it can be hard to get formal childcare organised for a few hours rather than full days.

MrsChollySawcutt · 09/08/2018 08:20

So now OP is unhappy with the cleaner (who apparently does a poor job) bringing her DC with her.

FFS If you think she's a terrible cleaner and you don't like her bringing her kids along why didn't you say something about both of those things rather than make a mealy mouthed offer of snacks which you then begrudge?

And having offered her snacks, did you expect she would carefully eat a solitary biscuit while her DC watched?

Very bizarre behaviour.

Momo27 · 09/08/2018 08:50

I think if you said help yourself to biscuits it’s conceivable that she genuinely thought this was ok

I’d be far more concerned about her bringing her kids along while she’s being paid to clean your house; to do that behind your back is a shabby thing to do. Not fair on you or the kids, because she can’t be focussed on the job while caring for kids

Original poster
FrazzledRockRed · 09/08/2018 11:10

I said they were breakfast bars.

OP posts:
FourFriedChickensDryWhiteToast · 09/08/2018 11:21

Breakfast bar = biscuit.

firstworldproblems2018 · 09/08/2018 11:36

The issue for me would be the kids being there in the first place. People (anyone, not just cleaners) can’t just bring their kids along to work unannounced. Hmm Of course finding childcare is hard but that’s not the OP’s problem. The breakfast bars- I would honestly let go. ‘Help yourself’ is a very ambiguous term. I said the same thing to a babysitter once who ate an entire tub of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream. I didn’t say anything because I had said ‘help yourself to anything.’ Also, I wish people would stop making the leap from ‘cleaner takes 3 breakfast bars to cleaner must be struggling to afford to feed her kids and those bars were her only hope.’ No one knows the circumstances and many cleaners actually earn very good money!

QueenOfIce · 09/08/2018 11:40

To be fair to the op she didn't say help yourself to snacks. She said help yourself to tea and biscuits. Very different.

Momo27 · 09/08/2018 11:48

‘ People (anyone, not just cleaners) can’t just bring their kids along to work unannounced.’

^^ This is the real issue here.
And as many pp have pointed out, a cleaner can earn decent wages, certainly more than a lot of retail jobs etc In fact when I was in my early years of teaching, I know for a fact my cleaner earned more per hour than I did, in terms of the actual hours worked. As did my child minder. (And yes I know I was salaried blah blah blah but the point is, cleaners are not necessarily on the poverty line and it’s a massively judgemental thing to stereotype them in a particular way

Childcare is something all parents who work have to deal with. A sales assistant wouldn’t dream of rocking up to work with a couple of kids in tow so why should a cleaner be any different

ginghamstarfish · 09/08/2018 12:01

Interesting that so many think that a cleaner may be in actual need of eating other people's food ... 'hungry children' etc. Cleaners earn decent money for what they do, cash in hand for the most part I imagine, so taking home more than those paying tax and NI in retail, carework and other jobs. Anyhow the issue as has been pointed out is that she's not good at her job anyway, so OP you need to get rid and find someone else.

9amTrain · 09/08/2018 14:45

Cleaners earn decent money for what they do ?! Confused

Maybe where you are! But it's all minimum wage here. Unless you think that's "decent money for what we do" ... Depending on the hours and work environment it can gruelling!

PhaedrasChocolate · 09/08/2018 19:12

I really can't make my mind up.

I do know that I wouldn't mix my Rich Tea type biscuits with wrapped chocolatey ones like a Penguin. That's just wrong. And if my employer offered me tea and biscuits, I wouldn't dream of taking one of the latter. Can't even explain why, I would see it as bad manners Confused

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