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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cleaner ate our snacks

247 replies

FrazzledRockRed · 08/08/2018 06:26

I’ve always said to our cleaner ‘help yourself to tea and biscuits’. I’m not the teabag and biscuit counting type so I don’t know if she did. She comes with her young dc Hmm.

Yesterday we came home to a brand new pack of 4 breakfast bars down to only one. It could only be the cleaner and dc.

There’s a difference between opening something with a countable number and having a biccie or 2.

Aibu to think this is taking the piss?

OP posts:
FourFriedChickensDryWhiteToast · 08/08/2018 09:42

cereal bar = biscuit , and you told her to help herself.

God knows how people manage in the holidays, what with food poverty and all. And to be honest it doesn't sound as though you are worrying too much about your food bill, what with a cupboard full of biscuits.

TatianaLarina · 08/08/2018 09:45

either deal with it, or accept that you're paying for a crap, biscuit eating cleaner and her kids to come to your house once a week.

Grin
PeckhamPauline · 08/08/2018 09:47

Well, I was brought up to think it would be rude to take three biscuits for myself when there were only four in the whole package.

And sorry, "help yourself" does not mean stuff your face with the whole bloody lot.

I guess basic manners have gone out the window again.

FourFriedChickensDryWhiteToast · 08/08/2018 09:50

yes it does sound a bit rude when you couch it those terms Pauline, but the fact is she might have had hungry children on her hands and no way of fixing that, other than taking the biscuits that she had been offered.

LemonysSnicket · 08/08/2018 09:50

Considering a pack of cereal bars can be £3 and biscuits are 50p a pack I think YANBU. I'd be annoyed

PeckhamPauline · 08/08/2018 09:51

I really don’t understand why anyone tells a cleaner to help themselves to tea and biscuits though. Does a cleaner who comes in for maybe 90 minutes really need a tea break?

And this, too.

Ignoramusgiganticus · 08/08/2018 10:01

How do we feel on jaffa cakes. Are they a biscuit or a cake?

FourFriedChickensDryWhiteToast · 08/08/2018 10:06

" How do we feel on jaffa cakes. Are they a biscuit or a cake? "

a cake that can safely be treated as a biscuit..:)

Baumederose · 08/08/2018 10:06

I'm surprised you haven't phoned the police.

If they don't give a fuck, start civil proceedings instead.

FourFriedChickensDryWhiteToast · 08/08/2018 10:07

..and call SS as well ..

famousfour · 08/08/2018 10:08

Oh my goodness. If she were helping herself to half your cupboard every week then I might say something. But she has three cereal bars one week?! Seriously...

If she is not a good cleaner that is a separate issue.

diddl · 08/08/2018 10:11

" she might have had hungry children on her hands "

Why should that impact the OP?

Dollyrama · 08/08/2018 10:11

You seem to have a lot of resentment towards your cleaner OP. I feel sorry for the poor woman. Really if she’s doing a bad job then best for you both if you tell her that (politely!)

I feel sorry for her kids being taken with her to clean in a strange house and not being able to properly play. Must be boring for them unless they’re helping her clean, which I hope isn’t the case.

It doesn’t seem like after discovering the dc there you told the cleaner she couldn’t bring them again, so you only have your self to blame if they’re continuing to come while you’re silently seething.

As for what is a biscuit. Where I come from (US) a biscuit is what here is called a scone. A uk biscuit is a cookie.

AdilRamisTache · 08/08/2018 10:19

My cleaner brings her two children with her sometimes in the school holidays, I have no issue with that at all. They sit quietly and either watch television or draw, and her daughter has occasionally tidied all my daughter's soft toys beautifully to help out. If they wanted anything out of my food cupboard they'd be more than welcome, because I can a) if I can afford a cleaner I can be generous with my pom bears/biscuits/whatever, b) their mum works very hard, even if she's not the best cleaner in the world, and c) because I'm not a twat.

HTH.

FourFriedChickensDryWhiteToast · 08/08/2018 10:21

" Why should that impact the OP? "

That might 'have an impact' on the OP because OP has this woman cleaning her house on a low wage (?) during the school holidays.
She told her to 'help herself' so she did..

raisinsarenottheonlyfruit · 08/08/2018 10:32

YABU.

You told her help yourself.

In your head, you have a distinction between biscuits in packets and biscuits in wrappers. She doesn't. She obviously doesn't know this "rule" of yours.

Maybe she thought you'd left them out for her, did you consider that?

Dollyrama · 08/08/2018 10:32

I’d feel really bad if I had a child who wasn’t my own tidying or cleaning my house. Especially if I wasn’t paying them for it. It’d feel like child slave labor.

This is one of those times I’m glad I can’t afford a cleaner. On principle I’d never have one but if I had the money I think I’d sure be tempted.

raisinsarenottheonlyfruit · 08/08/2018 10:35

I really don’t understand why anyone tells a cleaner to help themselves to tea and biscuits though. Does a cleaner who comes in for maybe 90 minutes really need a tea break?

I bet people love working for you Hmm

Anyone who comes into my house to do a job gets offered tea/coffee and biscuits if I have any. Men who came to clear the drains the other day, who didn't even set foot in my house got coffee brought out to them.

It shows people you appreciate them, they're welcome and that you have basic manners.

raisinsarenottheonlyfruit · 08/08/2018 10:38

On principle I’d never have one

Why on earth not? Under no circumstances?

My friend is a cleaner. I'm glad the people in her area weren't to "principled" to hire her, else she would have had a much harder time getting through her divorce and free from her arsehole ex.

If you're working full time and have no time to clean your house, why not? It's how you then treat people who spend their time working for you that matters IMO.

(Disclaimer, I've never been in a position to have a cleaner!)

Dottierichardson · 08/08/2018 10:42

If you treat people well they will do a better job and are more likely to be loyal. If you freak out over something this small, people will work for you but they won't like you and if they have any spirit will find small ways to get back at you. So let it go! . If you only want particular things to be eaten then buy a special tin, fill it with biscuits and make it the one that's left out, put a post-it note on it to make it clear that it's for the cleaner. But make sure they're decent biscuits, I have had a lot of work done for me, I treat people with respect, don't sweat the small stuff and always provide decent snacks, always get great work in return, never had a builder/plumber go over time, over estimate etc

If you're not clear with someone then having a fit afterwards makes you sound very petty. Lack of clarity is a failure on your part, not on your cleaner's.

PaintBySticker · 08/08/2018 10:43

“On principle I’d never have one”

We have a cleaner, we pay her fairly, have reasonable expectations of what she can do in 3 hours, and I thank her for her work because I appreciate what a difference she makes to the smooth running of our household. I’m not sure what principle we’re breaking?

Bibesia · 08/08/2018 10:45

If she does a shit job, get rid anyway.

Dottierichardson · 08/08/2018 10:47

Just noticed you say she doesn't do a great job, could be true, could depend on how clear you are on what needs to be done, could be based on false expectations, could be not the greatest cleaner. But if you are anything like you sound on here could well be your attitude.

KurriKurri · 08/08/2018 10:50

What are breakfast biscuits? - Are they those Belvita things ? - they look just like digestives or something. Any way I wouldn't begrudge her kids a biscuit bar or whatever, they were probably bored rigid.

I've been a cleaner - we got toast and tea for our break. And if there was any cake or anything we were told to help ourselves (we obviously wouldn't have scoffed a whole cake but we did have a slice)

if it bothers you you'll have to put out on a tray the things she is allowed. Biscuits covers a multitude - I'd consider breakfast biscuits (if they are those Belvita things) as biscuits, or cereal bars for that matter. What are they if they aren't biscuits ?