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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cleaner ate our snacks

247 replies

FrazzledRockRed · 08/08/2018 06:26

I’ve always said to our cleaner ‘help yourself to tea and biscuits’. I’m not the teabag and biscuit counting type so I don’t know if she did. She comes with her young dc Hmm.

Yesterday we came home to a brand new pack of 4 breakfast bars down to only one. It could only be the cleaner and dc.

There’s a difference between opening something with a countable number and having a biccie or 2.

Aibu to think this is taking the piss?

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 08/08/2018 06:27

I wouldn't let her come with her children, she's not going to be focused on cleaning. Does she do a good job? Maybe she thought the bars were biscuity? Agree its not really on though.

GinDaddy · 08/08/2018 06:29

I don’t think she is taking the piss. If you’ve said “help yourself” etc, then she might have done just that. She won’t be in your head and she won’t know the parameters around how much is reasonable.

My wife and I tend to put out a plate of assorted stuff - biscuits, fruit, tea, coffee, soft drinks, whatever. I’d be happy if that whole plate was gone by the time we come back, because anything I would “miss” is in a cupboard and therefore not fair game.

Ski4130 · 08/08/2018 06:30

You've told her to help herself to biscuits, and she did. Are you.annoyed that she ate the naice biscuits? Perhaps you need to manage your biscuit expectations with her, and talk her through the hierarchy of biscuits and what's ok to eat and not ok to eat.

BrazzleDazzleDay · 08/08/2018 06:33

You dont half like a bit of drama

Original poster
FrazzledRockRed · 08/08/2018 06:36

Ski, is there was a cupboard full of open hob nobs , rich tea etc I would never dream of opening a pack of your things and eating 3 of them.

We didn’t know she brought her dc until we happened to be there one day. She does a shit job but I’ve got other stresses so can’t be bothered to tackle that.

OP posts:
TeddyIsaHe · 08/08/2018 06:36

Who cares?!

9amTrain · 08/08/2018 06:36

Yanbu for being annoyed about what they've taken - which is the piss.

Yabu to say "biccies". Envy

Monty27 · 08/08/2018 06:37

I wish I had your problems.
The poor person is trying to earn a buck whilst juggling her own childcare.
For sure work is work but just feel more kindness.
As long as she has satisfied your cleaning what the hell is a couple of biscuits problem about? Hmm

redcaryellowcar · 08/08/2018 06:37

I too in the past days help yourself to a drink and our cleaner was drinking bottled water, which I only bought for taking out on picnics etc, we always drink tap at home. I was a bit angry to begin with and then thought she was doing exactly as I had suggested and helping herself. When she left I no longer offered cleaners a drink. Our current ones come as s ream of three and are only here an hour, I think I could manage an hour without a drink and I wouldn't be worried if they had tap water if they needed it and I don't think they would worry about having it. The 'help yourself' thing is just too complicated.

9amTrain · 08/08/2018 06:37

There is a difference between tea and biscuits, which usually come in packs of... i dunno, a lot. And four, more expensive breakfast bars.

Silvercatowner · 08/08/2018 06:39

I would never dream of opening a pack of your things and eating 3 of them.

But this is someone else, not you. You told her to help herself and she did.

GinDaddy · 08/08/2018 06:40

@redcaryellowcar

Why is it complicated, if you make it clear what can be had and what can’t?

As per previous post, I leave out a plate/board of stuff for them, so they can snack accordingly. Everything on there is stuff I eat and drink, but it’s stuff I’m not precious about losing. If they reached into the cupboard and then opened a bunch of stuff, of course I’d be aggrieved.

GinDaddy · 08/08/2018 06:42

@9amtrain

Sure there’s a difference, but how can anyone expect a person who is being told to “help yourself (to effectively anything) to somehow telepathically know that this means “help yourself to anything as long as you know it’s polite to only eat lower value items as you’re a cleaner”

Rebecca36 · 08/08/2018 06:42

She probably thought you left them for her. If she is good at her job, don't make a thing out of it, it will embarrass her and make you look mean.

Toastedstrudel · 08/08/2018 06:42

You’ve got other stresses so can’t be bothered to tackle that she does a shit job and yet you’re stressing about some breakfast bars? Hmm

ourkidmolly · 08/08/2018 06:45

@redcaryellowcar

I think it's mean not to offer a cleaner a drink, particularly in this hot weather. Just indicate squash or tap water or whatever but they need to be able to drink.

I would never allow a cleaner to bring children with them unless it really was an exceptional and one off episode. That's a recipe for a disaster.

Passthecake30 · 08/08/2018 06:46

If they are on the same shelf maybe she didn't differentiate between type of biscuit, leave those with the cereal in future?

Strange that someone needs to snack while cleaning tbh, but now you've said it you can't take it away.

ourkidmolly · 08/08/2018 06:46

Honestly forget about the bars though.

Shoxfordian · 08/08/2018 06:47

If she does a shit job then get rid of her
I always recommend using an agency for cleaning

MaggieAndHopey · 08/08/2018 06:49

Hard to get emotionally invested in this ultimate middle class non-problem, really. If you don't want your cleaner to eat your biscuits, don't say 'help yourself to biscuits'. That way there's no confusion over what is and isn't acceptable to you.

FurryDice · 08/08/2018 06:50

They’re breakfast bars which are sort of biscuity. Not caviar

9amTrain · 08/08/2018 06:51

@GinDaddy well, the OP said help yourself to tea and biscuits, not anything you can find in the cupboards. Otherwise I'd agree with you.

9amTrain · 08/08/2018 06:52

And I wouldn't say a small pack of breakfast bars would be considered biscuits, especially not in the sense of 'tea and biscuits'!

I'm way too invested in this issue now.

ItsLikeRainOnYourWeddingDay · 08/08/2018 06:52

Could she be struggling to afford to feed the child in the summer holidays??

Mummyoflittledragon · 08/08/2018 06:52

The taking the breakfast bars is irritating. It sounds as if bringing her child is making it difficult to do her job. It’s all very well for people to say she’s trying to juggle work and childcare issues but no company would put up with an employee taking their child to work everyday, which is what is happening here.

I had a rubbish cleaner. Nice person but omg she had terrible issues. Kept her on for ages as I was far to ill to sort something out. She took the piss, used to turn up late or not at all and a came with a host of problems. She fell ill at my house once - medication reaction - and I had to force her mother to pick her up.

Sometimes you have to go with who you have until you can sort an alternative out. Leave the biscuits you are ok for her to eat out and a note. Say the bars are for packed lunches or something.

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