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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cleaner ate our snacks

247 replies

FrazzledRockRed · 08/08/2018 06:26

I’ve always said to our cleaner ‘help yourself to tea and biscuits’. I’m not the teabag and biscuit counting type so I don’t know if she did. She comes with her young dc Hmm.

Yesterday we came home to a brand new pack of 4 breakfast bars down to only one. It could only be the cleaner and dc.

There’s a difference between opening something with a countable number and having a biccie or 2.

Aibu to think this is taking the piss?

OP posts:
Foslady · 08/08/2018 07:34

Cleaner is probably on a low income so few treats on the house, fgs, youbreaent then having a biscuit bar that I doubt they would normally never get the chance of?
And if this is for real I can just see your AIBU if she had started cooking pasta or done some bread and butter.

Get over yourself and be grateful you’re not in her situation

VladmirsPoutine · 08/08/2018 07:35

I don't think this is something I'd get worked up about but you are not unreasonable to expect her to behave reasonably. And eating a full packet of biscuits leaving one or two is not reasonable. I am very much of the 'help yourself' school of thought but that doesn't mean 'eat all of it'. Yanbu. Don't bring it up though because then you'll be seen to be making an even greater issue of something that isn't that big of a deal.

You say she's a shit cleaner anyway so that's the battle you need to fight. Get rid of her and get someone else in.

Pengggwn · 08/08/2018 07:36

Breakfast bars like cereal bars? They are not biscuits. I am with the OP.

KinkyAfro · 08/08/2018 07:36

Why do people get so shitty on these threads, it's ok to disagree with other posters but why the snarky comments, there's just no need?

FWIW I think your cleaner was unreasonable but I don't think you should be providing snacks, and she shouldn't be bringing her kid. If she has no other choice then she should be bringing her own snacks, it's not your responsibility to make sure her kid is fed

Pengggwn · 08/08/2018 07:37

And I love how everyone is assuming the cleaner is a purloined breakfast bar away from starvation. The OP didn't say she and the children looked thin.

FurryDice · 08/08/2018 07:38

I think the OP is hella tight. Fucks sakes.

user1457017537 · 08/08/2018 07:41

FurryDice I agree

KinkyAfro · 08/08/2018 07:42

Obviously being a cleaner means she can't afford to feed her kids ffs 🤨

beela · 08/08/2018 07:42

Breakfast bars.... Like the ones they sell in poundland?

I think she's done you a favour tbh.

mineisarossini · 08/08/2018 07:48

If she is good at her job then let it go, if she isn't then time for her to go. Going through your cupboards is not part of her job description.Bringing her children to work would be a non starter for me.

I am pausing to consider and be concerned that she does not have enough money to feed her children, and if this is possibly the case of course you simply let it go and support her in whatever way you can.

Sisgal · 08/08/2018 07:50

I have 4 children and i buy food that lasts us for a whole week. Money is tight for me so yes every biscuit/packet of crisps/babana/meal etc is accounted for. So I do not think you are B U as I would be pissed off too! I agree with PP, she should not be bringing her kids with her and you should just get rid of her if she's shit at her job

9amTrain · 08/08/2018 07:50

Well I'm never coming to any of your houses if you're going to give me a cup of tea with a coco pops cereal bar on the pretense it's 'tea and biscuits' Grin

burnoutbabe · 08/08/2018 07:51

But also it was said help yourself, not help you AND YOUR KIDS. So maybe one breakfast bar is okay but no one would eat 3 for themselves would they?
So on that basis YANBU

Sisgal · 08/08/2018 07:53

Wish everyone would stop banging on about the 'cleaner may not afford to feed her own children' so what! This is not OP's problem. Plenty of support out there for people struggling financially. What if OP is can't afford to feed her kids now because she's feeding the cleaners children, how is that ok Hmm

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 08/08/2018 07:55

Are breakfast bars still a thing? Who knew.

Eveforever · 08/08/2018 07:56

Being a cleaner, who is bringing her children to jobs and thus avoiding childcare fees, does not mean this woman and her children are practically destitute and starving. Maybe we should be asking how much you are paying her OP?!

Agree that if there is evidence she is struggling then perhaps you could benevolent towards her, but assuming she's near starving simply because she's a cleaner is a bit offensive to cleaners.

EvaHarknessRose · 08/08/2018 07:56

She probably would have thought it was fine, and if the roles were reversed not begrudge your children a biscuit bar yabu. Ya also bu for paying her to do a bad job without addressing it.

FurryDice · 08/08/2018 07:56

The OP can afford a cleaner, people. She’s not exactly on her uppers planning each meal to the nth grain of rice.

Tartanwallpaper · 08/08/2018 07:56

I just don't see why she needs to be provided with food at all, no other low paid job is, mine certainly isn't. If she's eating surely she's wasting time she's paid to work and if her day includes a break time then surely she should bring her own food?

OliviaStabler · 08/08/2018 07:57

You said help yourself, so she did. You can't now complain that she took 3 things you didn't think she was worthy of eating.

Shoxfordian · 08/08/2018 07:58

@mummyoflittledragon

That's unfortunate. I use an agency and they send reasonably good cleaners. Not that happy with mine at the moment but easy to ask for a replacement. Having an agency to complain to is easier generally for people than complaining to the actual cleaner about their work.

I don't know why the op here is keeping the cleaner though. If I turned up and found my cleaner brought small children with her then I'd sack her because she's not focussing on what I'm paying her for. I understand it's hard with small children and that's unfortunate but you're still paying for a service op.

Tartanwallpaper · 08/08/2018 07:59

And by mine I mean my own minimum wage job, not my own cleaner - I couldn't afford one!

FurryDice · 08/08/2018 07:59

This thread is unbelievable! Back in the day, babysitters were told to help themselves and all they (we) did was sit on our arses. I’m quite flabbergasted at the meanness on display here.

Nikephorus · 08/08/2018 07:59

Help yourself to tea & biscuits means have a couple of cups of tea and a biscuit or two from an opened packet or a single kitkat / breakfast bar / individually wrapped snack. It doesn't mean you can use the last tea bag, open a tin of biscuits or snaffle an entire packet of kitkats. And it doesn't matter if you're brought your extended family with you, you just have to make your two rich tea biscuits go further!!!
Sack the cleaner - she's crap, she brings her kids, she eats like a locust!

Butterymuffin · 08/08/2018 08:00

Look, it sounds like there are several things about how the cleaner does her job that aren't working for you. Top of the list should be doing a shit job. Get a new cleaner!
Biscuits and breakfast bars are different though. I'm guessing the DC asked her if they could have those and she didn't want to say no / thought 'ah, fuck it'.