Or do all 18 year olds take drugs?

[Twistella]

Dd17 hasn't been out much recently. Whr. I asked her why she said that all her friends take drugs. Even going to the pub they might take tramadol or xanax. It's ketamine and Es at a party or gathering. And spliff all the time.

Dd likes a drink but hates smoking and drugs. She is very open with me and I'm normally very relaxed but is this normal? We've discussed trying to hang out with new friends but she seems drawn to the "cool kids". She's at a normal state 6th form.

[Yogafailure]

No my teens don't do drugs awaits someone proclaiming that's crap and I know nothing They barely drink and neither smoke after watching my dad slowly die from COPD.

My teens (17 and 19) think drugs are for losers and wouldn't spend their hard earned cash on them either.

[SandyY2K]

Not normal. I also have a DD18 and that's not what her and her friends do.

[ZanyMobster]

There are some very naive people on this thread, of course none of your DCs do but their friends all do . My DCs are under 12 so I can't comment on them as yet, I would expect most kids will try them at some point as they will also try alcohol and possibly smoking.

I also find it ridiculous that people label people 'dim' etc who do, do you say the same about alcohol as statistically alcohol is a hell of a lot worse with regards to serious problems. In fact the most abused drugs after alcohol are Valium and Ritalin.

There are many people who use drugs recreationally and have professional jobs and are extremely intelligent. I love the fact that so many people on here live in their little bubbles and truly believe the only people who take drugs are full on druggies who can't hold down a job, house etc. So sheltered!

[ZanyMobster]

Oh I definitely don't think all DCs do take drugs regularly either, that is ridiculous also, I do think most will try it at some point though. And I also shouldn't have been so sweeping in my first sentence on my previous post, of course there are some kids that don't but I don't believe that every parent knows 100%.

[Oliversmumsarmy]

There are some very naive people on this thread, of course none of your DCs do but their friends all do hmm. My DCs are under 12 so I can't comment on them as yet, I would expect most kids will try them at some point

I know DD doesn't do anything. She likes to get in her car at the end of the evening and drive home. She also knows I have a sense of smell of a bloodhound
I can pick out sometimes who she has been out with. So she knows not to bullshit me.

Also her bf does drink but about 1 drink once per week and has gone months without when he is working on a project.

Rather than acknowledging that my DC will try stuff at some point I have said no drink, drugs, smoking etc.
I don't drink etc so I don't expect them to.
I don't have many rules but these ones are non negotiable. There is a history of addiction in mine and my DPS family so they have seen what alcohol, drugs and smoking can cause so I think it has really put them off any of it.

[Twistella]

zanymobster I do know very successful people that have jobs and kids and nice clothes etc, some of them still do coke on a night out, smoke a lot of spliff, a couple of the blokes would still properly cane it on a night out

They are the ones who are generally a bit unhappy and miserable and bicker A LOT.

The happiest people I know at my age are the ones who don't touch drugs, they drink and exercise in moderation and spend a lot of time outside!! Obvs my own experience only but its something to aspire to in my case

[Twistella]

Personally I think class As once you've got kids is desperately sad.

[drspouse]

There are many people who use drugs recreationally and have professional jobs and are extremely intelligent.

By definition, using drugs recreationally when you have a professional job is not intelligent.

[Twistella]

By definition, using drugs recreationally when you have a professional job is not intelligent

Absolutely. Whether you think its all a big conspiracy by the Man or not, the fact remains that class a drugs are illegal and I can't imagine a true professional would have anything to do with them.

[ZanyMobster]

Twistella I do not necessarily disagree with you there, I don't take drugs and wouldn't touch them now I have children. I couldn't get bothered about the odd spliff but I don't smoke so it doesn't appeal to me.

Oliversmumsarmy I find that a very odd attitude actually, how old are your DCs? Just because I do or don't do something it doesn't mean my DCs should or shouldn't, they are different people to me.

It can work both ways, I swear as I am an adult but my DCs are not allowed to, in the same way at their ages they are not allowed to drink either. I don't expect them to drink just because I do when they are older, I would hope they have their own minds and make decisions based on what is right for them. I also am realistic and want to prepare them for being fully fledged adults which means allowing them to make decisions (sometimes wrong ones) and learning from them otherwise they will leave home and not have a clue if I purely dictate to them constantly.

My brother and I have never smoked, my auntie died of lung cancer when we were young teens and it really affected us, we also don't drink regularly indoors as we have a large amount of alcoholics in our family so I do agree that this affects your views on it all. I would certainly push this opinion on my children but essentially can't stop them once they are of legal age.

drspouse the same could be said for someone getting drunk as well then, it's not massively sensible or clever. You could apply that way of thinking to all sorts. It's just an opinion isn't it, not a definition . . .

[ZanyMobster]

Twistella so is downloading illegal films etc but many people do it, very intelligent people included (not me as apparently not quite intelligent enough to know what on earth I am doing with it all).

I am not sure the legality is relevant, I would have as little respect for someone going out and getting wasted all the time on alcohol when they have DCs as I would for someone getting wasted on drugs.

[ZanyMobster]

*that meant to say pirate films, not illegal films

[Twistella]

The legality is important for members of a professional body.

Downloading films is not in the same league for goodness sake.

[Rufustheyawningreindeer]

Ds1 and his freinds dont smoke or do drugs, most of them didnt drink either

Ds1 did...

Dd is 16 and a lot of people she knows drink and take drugs, it seems to be more prevalent in her friendship group ...or at least her age group!!

[ZanyMobster]

But the theory is the same if you apply the legality to it, doing something illegal doesn't make someone not intelligent. Getting wasted on class A drugs all the time is a stupid thing to do, as is getting legless all the time, the legality is irrelevant in this case I believe.

Surely in a job where it mattered you have to ensure you do not do anything that could jeopardise that though, if you are a police officer for instances I suspect any criminal conviction is a game changer. Totally different discussion . . .

[Babyroobs]

Blimey this thread has filled me with anxiety. I have a 17 year old and an 18 year old but it hadn't crossed my mind either could be taking drugs ! I absolutely don't think my 18 year old is - he goes to pub quizzes and plays a round of golf and goes to the odd party and down to our local club to play pool. he is going to Uni in a few weeks though so I will be having a chat. I'm not terribly clued up to what my 17 year old is up to- he does go to a few overnight house parties but saves almost all his wages from his part time job so really don't think he is spending much on drugs.

[Rufustheyawningreindeer]

there are some kids that don't but I don't believe that every parent knows 100%

I know 10% with ds1 and dd, they are an open book

Ds2 is only 15 and not up to anything yet (glued to his computer) but he will be the one to watch!!

[ZanyMobster]

Obviously I hope my DCs are informed enough to make good decisions about everything in moderation in the same way I was.

[Rufustheyawningreindeer]

zany

Well thats an epic fail for me with ds1

[schoty77]

Yeesh. None of my kids were taking drugs at 18, neither were any of their friends. I don’t know how they’d manage to cope with their university course loads and jobs if they were.. but I’m guessing that’s not really an issue for the drug-taking types.

[ZanyMobster]

Rufus I think that is great, the fact you are open with your kids and they are with you means they will discuss things but do you not think that if you say that they are not allowed to touch alcohol, drugs, smoking and it's non negotiable you are closing the lines of communication.

I would say there are some PPs that are in danger of this . . .

My DCs school have external people come in to do drugs talks with each senior school year group (to ensure age appropriateness) and it is great as parents are involved. The one thing they really push is keeping the lines of communication open and to never fly off the handle if they do disclose things as t's a sure way of ending any future discussions

[Twistella]

I talk really openly with my dds about drugs and sex and alcohol. They talk back pretty openly but I am sure they have things they haven't told me which is fine, I don't need to know every detail.

[Rufustheyawningreindeer]

I do agree with you zany

I have made my views on drugs very clear to them

And i would be furious if they started smoking

But I cant say dont do it, i can say why i think its a bad idea

[Mrskeats]

No I don’t think most young people do and I work in education so this gets discussed a lot.
My own 2 and their circles are quite disdainful of drugs.

[lljkk]

(teens)
DC1 thinks drugs are stupid & so are the people who take them.
He is in Army so No Way he could, he'd lose his job.

DC2 wants to study medicine, so another absolutely not, cannot afford the risk. Her BFFs are studious types who think drugs are stupid. But she's about to go to posh private 6th form & I told her that drugs will probably be rife; she agreed that it's her richest mates who take drugs.

DC3 doesn't know why people drink much less drug.

I was a druggie at about age 12-13 (1980). Most people I knew took them. From age 14, I got into a completely different social circle where nobody did or would want to. DC know this & disapprove of my druggie days.