Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have everything but still feel exhausted with life?

120 replies

Whysosad · 07/08/2018 20:16

NC for this post.

I'm in my mid/late twenties and live in my own mortgaged house. I've got a very professional and decently paid job. I have no kids. Have a boyfriend of 6 months I'm mad about that is lovely and ticks all the boxes plus gives me butterflies. I have lots and lots of good friends. A great social active social life also. So why the fuck do i feel so fed up? Like i can't be arsed?

I've been blessed with such a good life I've built for myself but feel almost numb inside. I've been feeling like this well over a year now. Like whats the point? I've considered that maybe this is a reason why some people may have kids. Too feel a sense of purpose to it all?

I don't think I'm depressed but i may be. I can feel happy/excited temporarily whilst going for a day trip with my boyfriend or shopping and cocktails with the girls, but its only very temporary. I just don't see the point too it all? Even when things are going great you just know that something shit will be around the corner i suppose. What goes up must come down. So why even bother?

I'm forcing myself through the motions of eating healthy, running and forcing myself to go out and socialise even when id rather sit at home and stare at 4 walls.

I see everyone so excited about holidays/weekend etc. And i just feel numb. I had counselling last year and i may go back again after my upcoming trip. But there is actually nothing 'wrong' with my life. Work is great, boyfriend fab, friends great and lots to do coming up. So why am i so disinterested?

I do feel like if 'this is it' then shoot me now. Another 60 odd years of this just seems draining. Its so somewhat predictable. Get married, have kids, go on holidays, buy a bigger house, get promoted, go part time, maybe someone has an affair, maybe divorce, a bereavement will happen somewhere to someone, mid life crises perhaps, travel, illness, have a pet Etc. That pretty much rounds up life the average life. Full of these everyday ups and downs yet everyone feels their life is different and their pain unique.

Okay sorry im rambling. I don't mean this post in a spiteful or angry tone if it reads that way. More so in a 'why? Whats the point?' way.

So where do i go from here? I feel so lost.
Like a foreigner in the world.

I know advice will be along the lines of see a GP, join a new hobby, travel etc. Trust me i know all that. Id just like to hear someone who knows somewhat how i feel. Or any positive spins on what ive just said. I don't want to feel this way. I just feel so detached from life.

Any positive or negative stories are greatly appreciated. If you've read this far, then i thank you deeply. It feels a lot better to finally get this out. Xx

OP posts:
tamsinconditions · 07/08/2018 20:18

Find something to invest your time and efforts in that is bigger than yourself. By that I mean a cause, a movement that you really care about and where you feel you can make a difference.

We are all foreigners in this world, get over it Grin

ManginoBambino · 07/08/2018 20:20

book a holiday
ask about a sabbatical from work to backpack somewhere
do voluntary work
feel thankful you have choices
oh and go talk to a GP, you sound depressed

NinetySixer · 07/08/2018 20:20

It sounds like you have depression.

That is exactly how I feel and I have depression as a result of another medical problem.

Sevendown · 07/08/2018 20:22

Sounds like you need a purpose

-your life does seem a bit shallow-

Volunteering?

-you are right though that some people have dcs to fill this void-

Fatted · 07/08/2018 20:22

You probably won't like what I have to say, but I have felt what you felt. Whilst in the depths of depression.

I guess the question is are you really, truly happy with your life? Yes things are on paper 'Good' but are they what you want with life?

DeadGood · 07/08/2018 20:25

It does sound like depression to me too OP. I think the “get a hobby” advice is not going to plug the gap until the brain chemistry is sorted out.
Good luck - sounds like you’re doing really well, and you deserve to feel good. X

RNBrie · 07/08/2018 20:25

Are you on the pill OP? Weird question but I felt like you did. Came off the pill for other reasons and life had more colour to it.

I agree you sound depressed. Counselling and GP both good places to start.

DeadGood · 07/08/2018 20:26

Sorry - I meant it sounds like you have your life in order, and I hope you can get into a better headspace, and feel happier.

madmomma · 07/08/2018 20:27

Help someone. Seriously. It'll get you out of your own head and make you see your own circumstances in a new light.

Oldenoughnow · 07/08/2018 20:28

I am in a very similar position to you OP - good job, nice partner, nice home, but feel exhausted by it all and unfulfilled. I think part of it could be depression but I also think some people are affected more by existential questions than others. I see people just getting on with it, but I'm constantly evaluating and reevaluating what it all means and what my purpose is, and like you, I find joys to be fleeting and temporary. Frankly most people seem to live fairly monotonous lives, work, have kids, pay mortgages, die. I suppose the best we can do is try to find a higher purpose to it all and instill it in our daily lives.

Mmer · 07/08/2018 20:29

It sounds like you have depression. It is good that you recognize something is off.

Feelshortchanged · 07/08/2018 20:32

Agree with the suggestion for volunteering. Too much introspection is bad for the soul, and helping others gives you a better sense of perspective. That’s not to say you don’t need to see a doctor as well though.

RedPanda2 · 07/08/2018 20:32

OP I felt exactly the same as you. I have a great life but I was deeply depressed for no reason other than deprrssion. I still feel numb weeks on but I feel like I now deserve my life whereas I didn't before.
Have a word with your GP or even some friends. Talking does help.

DailyFailstinks · 07/08/2018 20:32

I had this - it felt like there was no point to anything. I had depression but didn’t realise for quite some time - despite many people gently suggesting it to me Hmm

AtrociousCircumstance · 07/08/2018 20:35

What was your childhood like?

Singlenotsingle · 07/08/2018 20:39

Maybe an ordinary life that most of us have just isn't going to be enough for you? Maybe you should take a break, rent out the house and go and do some volunteering overseas in Africa or India? Check out for possible depression first. Apparently it can be just a chemical imbalance.

Chosenbyyou · 07/08/2018 20:41

Wow I feel just like this. My life on paper is really good.

I have realised by reading your post that I have felt like this since having my second baby. I’m not sure if it’s 16 months of sleep deprivation or depression as the others have said.

Thanks for posting you have really got me thinking about my own mental health.

I hope you are ok op xx

Devilishpyjamas · 07/08/2018 20:46

Find something to invest your time and efforts in that is bigger than yourself. By that I mean a cause, a movement that you really care about and where you feel you can make a difference

This. One of the advantages of having a severely disabled (now adult) child is that it gave me a purpose and a community. Neither of which I knew I needed but I would now feel lost and uneasy without.

Grumpyoldblonde · 07/08/2018 20:48

You do sound depressed and I think it's worth considering if you take them that hormonal contraception may be a factor, it was for me.

Do you get enough sleep? Diet ok? Worth taking a holistic approach and yes perhaps doing some good for others may help as may things like yoga.

You've achieved much, well done! Perhaps a new challenge is needed, a charity run or a hobby maybe.

Plumsofwrath · 07/08/2018 20:48

Two thoughts:

  1. Maybe you’re living the wrong life. Do you have hobbies or interests? Would working in an gorilla sanctuary in Rwanda (for example) make you want to get up in the mornings?
  1. Don’t know what job you do, but it doesn’t sound like you make a meaningful contribution to people’s lives. I was the same at your age, my life was quite self-centered and it wasn’t good for me. I started volunteering and it turned out that the people I helped for three years, one afternoon every weekend, probably helped me more than I helped them.

Failing that, yes maybe depression. Don’t dismiss it, you don’t want to waste years to it.

PoisonousSmurf · 07/08/2018 20:52

Everyone feels like this when things seem 'perfect'. You're worried about it going wrong!

User212434667 · 07/08/2018 20:52

I was going to say the same as above, are you on hormonal contraception? That can affect your endocrine system in such a way you feel depressed for ‘no reason’.

Do you do any recreational drugs, even occasionally?

beetrootbang · 07/08/2018 20:54

What you’ve written is what I would have written when I was depressed.

You might want to visit a GP. Otherwise, keep up the exercise, healthy diet and socialising, even if you don’t feel like it, it will help. And maybe get a book on CBT for depression. Other posters have good advice too on volunteering and finding a bigger purpose. Try not to allow yourself to shrink your life down into your walls. I hope you feel better soon.

HelpmeobiMN · 07/08/2018 20:55

This sounds exactly like my depression.

Depression is a liar that will make you believe there's something fundamentally deficient in you which means you can't access the same joy and optimism and excitement as other people. That is not the truth. You can be healed of this illness.

Justanotherlurker · 07/08/2018 20:59

There is never a utopia of perfect wellbeing, you have to be happy with what you have and look for the positives in that.

The grass isn't necessarily greener and all that.